


Rebuild

by SimplyKorra



Series: Seeking Balance [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-11 10:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4431251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyKorra/pseuds/SimplyKorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took one year away to finally find some peace. To completely heal her body and start to feel whole again. However, as Avatar Korra returns to the life she once ran away from, she discovers that she left behind more than she could have imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Year Later

With a deep breath, Korra rested her head against the wall at the head of the bed and stared at the door. She needed to sleep, she hadn’t slept very well in days. Between spending the last few weeks in a swamp and then traveling with Tenzin’s kids to Zaofu, the world hadn’t given her much time to relax.

Needless to say, she was exhausted, and a bit overwhelmed to suddenly be thrust back into the day to day madness of the world. When she saw Jinora, Ikki and Meelo coming towards her on their bison, she knew it was urgent. They wouldn’t have come for her if it wasn’t, since Tenzin was always so adamant at giving her time to heal.

There was a difference with the poison gone, she could feel it. Her body felt lighter, more so than it had in years. Like she was no longer carrying around a bag of weights on her back. The Avatar State was back, she could feel the completion of her power and knew that if she needed it, those centuries of strength were at the ready.

Still, there was so much doubt in the back of her mind. Was she really resistant to Su’s plan of fighting Kuvira because it wasn’t who she wanted to be anymore? Or was it because she doubted her own ability to win that fight?

 _No_. Korra shook the thought away. _You’re better than that now. Fighting never did anything but cause more problems. Talk first, be reasonable. At least give Kuvira the benefit of the doubt._

Korra rubbed her eyes and stood up from the bed to unravel the wraps from her hands. It was hot out, the bedroom was thick with warm air and her green tank top stuck to her body. She needed water, she needed to clear her head and stop worrying about tomorrow.

Everything would be fine. She could talk to Kuvira, figure things out and then hopefully go back to Republic City and tell everyone to calm down.

Truthfully, she was a bit frazzled from all the excitement of the last few days. It was the most she’d talked or interacted with people in months. When she was hiding out and participating in underground earthbending fights, nobody really gave her a second look. Even Toph barely tolerated her, which was a bit annoying considering how much Korra had heard of Toph being supportive of the Avatar. But then again, she _was_ the woman who gave birth to Lin Beifong.

Just as Korra finished unwrapping her hands and reached for the door, there was a knock on the other side.

Opening it, Korra found Ikki standing in the hallway looking at her with bright eyes.

“Hey you,” Korra said as she knelt down a bit. Ikki was taller than she remembered. Without even responding, Ikki threw her arms around Korra and hugged her. Tears burned in the back of Korra’s eyes as she wrapped her arms around the girl and smiled. “What’s this for?”

Ikki shrugged, still holding on. “I missed you and I just…I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d come and see you. Then when I got outside your door I was worried that maybe you left again, and I don’t want you to leave anymore because everything was less fun when you weren’t around.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Korra said as she pulled back and held Ikki at arm’s length. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. A lot of things to make right.”

There was a blush on Ikki’s cheeks now. “Are you talking about Asami?”

“Ikki,” Korra sighed. “I—I really don’t want to get into all that right now. It’s something I need to talk about with her.”

“Oh I know,” Ikki rolled her eyes. “We were given strict orders by Dad not to tell you _anything_ about Asami.”

This made Korra frown. “What? Why not? Is she okay?”

“Korra,” Ikki groaned. “What did I just say? I can’t tell you anything.” Just as Ikki started to turn to leave, Korra grabbed her gently around the waist and picked her up. “Hey!”

“No, no, you can’t just drop something like that on me and then turn around and leave.”

“Nope,” Ikki shook her head defiantly. “I won’t do it. I won’t break my promise.”

Pursing her lips, Korra tapped her foot impatiently as she continued to hold Ikki in the air. “Alright, I won’t ask you anything but you have to tell me that she isn’t hurt or in danger. Otherwise I’m going to hold you up like this all night.”

Ikki stared at her for a moment and Korra thought that she might actually test that threat. However, a short while later she slumped her shoulders and grumbled. “She’s perfectly fine. I just know some things that Dad said she’s supposed to tell you, not me and not Jinora, not even Meelo. We were given direct orders.”

“Okay,” Korra put Ikki down but still couldn’t wrap her mind around the secretive nature of this conversation. Asami was the one person Korra thought about most while she was gone. Granted, Korra didn’t really feel like she had any right to pry into Asami’s life anymore. But she couldn’t help her curiosity. Ikki noting that she wasn’t _allowed_ to tell Korra anything only made it worse.

“Oh,” Korra looked up to see Jinora stop dead in her tracks at the sight of her and Ikki. “Um, I was just…coming to check on you.” She blushed a bit shyly and put her hands behind her back.

Korra couldn’t help herself, she grinned widely and waved Jinora over. “I missed you guys.” Ikki hugged her again as Jinora raced up and joined them. Korra stood, taking both girls up with her for a platypus-bear hug before setting them down. “I promise guys; I’m not going anywhere.”

Jinora stared at the floor as her foot scraped across it. “It’s just weird being here without Dad and I’m glad we found you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

It was easy to forget sometimes that they were still so young. Even with the things they’d done at such a young age, the number of hardships they’d faced and how fast they’d grown into the airbenders they were now, they were still just kids.

"You guys want to stay in here with me tonight? Su gave me a gigantic bed.”

Ikki hesitated for a moment. She looked back at Jinora who pursed her lips slightly before staring up at Korra with a smile. “Okay! I mean…we can hang out for a bit.”

With a smile, Korra turned to the bed and before she could get in, Ikki and Jinora had raced around her and climbed under the sheets.

Korra laughed heartily before reaching down and grabbing at Ikki’s sides to tickle her. She squealed with delight as Korra moved her to the side, tickling all the while before climbing into the bed and scooting Ikki over so that Korra could put herself in the middle between them.

“Um,” a soft voice came from the doorway and Korra looked over with the other two girls to see Meelo standing there wide eyed and nervous. “You girls are making a lot of noise and it’s keeping me up!” He raised his voice with each word he spoke. Then he puffed out his chest. “I know you’re scared but we’re doing just fine without mom and dad and we need to toughen up.”

Jinora gently nudged Korra’s shoulder and gave a small smirk which Korra understood as _‘he’s covering’_. With a dramatic sigh, Korra patted the bed. “Meelo, would you mind coming and staying with us tonight so we can all get a good nights sleep together?”

“Oh,” there was a flickering smile threatening to escape as he sauntered into the room. “I suppose!” He rushed to the bed, using a blast of air to lift himself up before falling down right in between all of them

It took them a few minutes to get settled but once they had, Korra was lying on her back with Ikki tucked against her right side, Meelo practically between her legs and Jinora lying away from her but holding her hand and already fast asleep.

Being around them again like this was more than Korra could have ever asked for. After spending a year alone, she missed the closeness and the feeling of sharing a bed with someone. Of course, it wasn’t Asami, and she mostly thought of Asami when she fell asleep all by herself. But this was enough for tonight.

Just as Korra was about to drift off, Ikki squeezed her arm and whispered. “Korra…I really like your hair.”

Her smile stayed until she found sleep.

\-------------

The sounds of crying woke Asami. The darkness of her bedroom was marred only by the streaming light of the moon outside trickling in through the window. She smacked her lips and waited a few seconds for her muscles to catch up when she suddenly felt a huff of air against the back of her head.

Turning around, she was face to face with Naga who rested her nose against Asami’s shoulder. Before she could say anything else, another cry sounded from across the room and Asami was suddenly more awake.

“It’s your turn.” She muttered to Naga who responded with another puff of air into her face. She laughed and rubbed Naga behind the ear a few times before pushing down the blankets and standing up.

Even though she didn’t have to, Naga stood up as well and gently hopped off the bed to follow Asami towards the sounds of distress. 

As she peeked over the crib, she saw this tiny ball of frustration thrashing and kicking. Tears were spilling down her cheeks and her cries echoed off the walls. However, as soon as Asami was in view, it all stopped.

“Really, Tsukiko?” Asami deadpanned with a smile threatening at the corner of her lips. “This is all you wanted? To see your mommy, awake in the middle of the night?” With a sigh, Asami scooped her daughter up into her arms and held her close. She checked to see if she was wet and glanced at the time on a dresser near the bed. “4:15. Well you made it longer than you did last night.” Asami said as she bounced gently with every stop she took.

It was every morning she had to carry Suki down the long halls of the mansion just to reach the kitchen, that Asami wondered if this estate was just too big for two people and a polar bear-dog.

After a good five-minute walk, including two sets of stairs, they finally found the kitchen and Asami glanced down to see that Suki was already fast asleep again in her arms.

“You’re such a brat.” Asami whispered as she kissed her baby atop the head and found a chair to sit down in at the table. Lifting her legs up, Asami rested them in another chair in front of her and stretched out. She sunk down a little deeper and found a more comfortable position to hold Suki. She ignored the stack of letters on the table, meant for later in the day and a pain she would deal with eventually. Asami felt her eyes drifting shut again until something poked at her side. “Naga,” she mumbled and opened one eye to stare down at her attacker. “This is perfectly fine.” She said and Naga nudged her again with her nose. “Ugh, I’m not going to drop her because I won’t really fall asleep.” Another nudge and Asami sighed before putting her legs down. “You know; you really need to loosen up _mom_. I’m not going to hurt _your_ child.”

Asami got up from the table and cradled the sleeping Suki closer to her chest. She moved to the living room and found solace on the couch, Naga was still following right behind her but once Asami laid down, with Suki protectively placed between herself and the back of the couch, Naga relaxed.

It never ceased to amaze Asami how much Tsukiko looked like Korra. From the few baby pictures Senna had shown her, they were almost identical, save for the green eyes. Asami stroked her finger through Suki’s thin tuft of hair and wondered how she managed to survive before this little girl was in her life.

Suki had become her entire world. For the longest time, Asami assumed she would stay in the Southern Water Tribe forever. Until Tenzin had caught wind of trouble at Future Industries and that they were actively trying to contact her and bring her back into the fold. The decision was made then to return, and Future Industries was suddenly more than willing to be flexible to her schedule so long as she helped stabilize the company after it invested billions into a city wide transportation restructure plan that flat out didn’t work.

So Asami came home, five months pregnant and still feeling very lost. Senna had stayed in the city with her through the pregnancy along with Naga, and helped her explain to everyone that, yes, she was carrying Korra’s baby. And no, she had no idea where Korra was or if she was coming back.

She also had to explain to Bolin at least a dozen times that she didn’t know _how_ it happened.

Asami had fixed the restructure plan, she held the big golden scissors and cut the ribbon on the new railway system. Then a month later, Suki arrived and her entire world got smaller.

Suddenly, she wanted to stay home every day. Working from home was ideal, and spending time with Suki was all she cared to do with her free time. Children had never really been a part of Asami Sato’s plan. She was never good with them and had no idea how to talk to them. She struggled with Tenzin’s children greatly and was merely polite but never sought out spending time with them.

But Suki was different. Suki was… _everything_. She was the first thing Asami thought of in the morning (mostly because she was always crying and waking her up) and the last thing to cross her mind before going to sleep.

Of course, the second thought she usually had was Korra. As the year progressed, Korra became less a source of angst and more of a good memory that Asami worried and wondered about. Nobody had heard from or seen Korra in over a year. There were scattered reports that would come through of random people spotting the Avatar all over the world. But no one ever had anything concrete.

Asami hoped they were true. She hoped that Korra was journeying and learning. Most of all, she just hoped that Korra had found a way to sleep at night and to enjoy her life again. To be the person she so desperately wanted to be.

She wanted Korra to be happy and maybe come back one day and meet her daughter. Even if she and Korra were never meant to recapture the love they once shared. Asami wouldn’t let herself open up that much again. She had too much at stake now to be careless with her heart.

At the sound of Naga snoring gently on the floor, Asami smiled and closed her eyes. Letting sleep take her again.

\------------

Asami sat in her study and flipped on her radio. When she’d returned to Republic City she had wanted a way to talk to Tonraq and Senna. While the radio she’d installed on Air Temple Island was great, it made sense to have one in her home considering how much of a chore it was to pack up Suki and take her on a ferry all the way to the island. So she’d put on in her home and every Saturday Tonraq and Senna would call her up and check in on everything.

Her relationship with them had been the one thing that kept her head above water during the lower points of finding out she was pregnant. She’d been _so_ scared because Korra was gone and she was only twenty-two and it had all happened so unexpectedly. But they had been there with her, and had supported her through the long nights and morning sickness. When she was finally ready to return to the city, when she knew she wanted to raise her baby in her own home, they were supportive of that as well.

At the slight sound of fussing, Asami swirled her char around to peek over the crib railings and see that Suki was still fast asleep. After Asami woke up a few hours later on the couch she’d come in here to do some drafting work for improving a pet project of hummingbird suits that might be useful for repairs on larger machines like the airships. Not every worker would be willing to trust a harness in the middle of the desert only because they knew the Avatar was there to catch them if they fell.

Just as Asami’s mind started to slip into thoughts of Korra, the sound of her radio scratching pulled her away. She swiveled back and picked up the receiver, waiting for that familiarly comforting voice.

“ _Asami_?” Tonraq said and she immediately smiled.

“Hi Tonraq, how are you?”

He exhaled slowly. “ _A bit tired, it was a long night, but it’s good to hear from you_.”

“We can do this another time if you like?”

“ _No_ ,” he said with a smile in his voice. “ _I know you needed to talk today given your plans. I’ll be alright for a little bit. Senna’s still in bed though, so she wanted me to tell you she misses you and one way or another we’re coming to see you and that little girl soon.”_

A thankful smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “We’ll be happy to have you. Did you get the letter with the most recent pictures?”

 _“We did!”_ He beamed and Asami couldn’t help but laugh. “ _She’s got your eyes and I’m fairly certain she’s hit the jackpot and has my strong chin_.”

This only made her laugh more. “Well I know it’s early, but I’m fairly certain she got your daughter’s pout too.” Even though they’d all accepted it, whenever Korra was mentioned the conversation always felt heavier. “Did Tenzin tell you he’s sent his kids out looking for her?”

“ _Yes_.” Tonraq answered tiredly. “ _He let me know a few days ago that he was planning it. He seems to think Jinora will be able to track her down. I know she’s needed, but I just hope she’s okay. I hope she’s—_ “ His sentence trailed off and Asami answered for him.

“Whole again?” When he sighed across the line, Asami took that as his response. “She’s tough, Tonraq. She’ll be okay. It…it’ll be good to have her back with what’s been going on. If they find her it’ll…it’ll be good to have her back.”

“ _So you’re really going to see your father today?_ ” Tonraq changed the subject, and even though talking about her dad was one of her least favorite things to do, this was a welcome transition.

“Yeah, I want to tell him to stop writing me. I stress over his letters so much and I just…I don’t have time for it. I can’t spend all day feeling bad when I get one. I have a daughter who needs me and with everything going on I know things are only going to get crazier.”

There was a slight pause as Asami waited for him to respond. “ _Are you sure that’s the only reason you’re upset? That it’s intruding in your life? Maybe you want to talk to him and that upsets you even more._ ”

“I _don’t_ want to talk to him.” She didn’t. She had spent many nights thinking that it might be the best thing for her if she _did_ talk to him, but the thought of even seeing him again was terrifying. “The man tried to kill me. I have nothing to say to him.”

“ _I know, Asami._ ” Tonraq spoke softly. It was obvious he didn’t want to match her rising tone. “ _But clearly he has something to say to you. It might serve you well to hear him out._ ”

“Tonraq, he’s a monster!”

Tears were gently spilling down her cheeks and she brushed them away. She glanced back at Suki’s crib and didn’t want to wake her. “ _I’m not saying you go there with any intention of forgiving him, but you need to tell him how you feel. Tell him to stop writing you if you want. Tell him how much he hurt you. Though I’m certain he already knows._ ”

“It’s not just me though,” Asami reminded him. In a way she was reminding herself too. “I don’t want him to know about Suki. For a _lot_ of reasons.” She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, resting her head in her free hand. “I don’t want him to think he has any obligation to see her. He doesn’t and he’s going to ask me about how she was born and I just…Tonraq I don’t even know how to explain that to myself. Let alone anyone else.”

This made Tonraq chortle a bit. “ _Well while I do not enjoy speaking on my daughter’s romantic life, I do believe it had something to do with the Spirit Oasis and her being the Avatar._ ”

Asami could remember when she’d first found out. That day Katara had told her and how angry she was. She screamed at Katara, called her a liar and ran out into the cold and the snow and just collapsed into tears in the midst of it. It was Senna who found her and helped her back to their house. They fed her, they calmed her down and talked to her, and they promised her they would support her no matter what.

She had been terrified. She asked them to find Korra, begged them to send out search parties for her. It was too much at the time; it had been so daunting. But Tonraq told her then what he’d told her each time she asked, what she knew the minute she read that letter months ago.

If Korra didn’t want to be found, they would never find her.

“I’m scared, Tonraq. I knew at some point I’d have to see him again but it’s really hard and I feel—“ _So alone_. That was what she wanted to say. But she knew if she did, he’d be on the first boat out. “I don’t owe him anything.”

“ _You don’t,_ ” he assured her. “ _You do owe yourself closure though, if that’s what you want. Go talk to him. Tell him what you need to tell him and spend the rest of the night with your daughter._ ” The tears fell a bit harder as he spoke and Asami felt her confidence rising through his support. “ _Remember, he’s not the only family you have anymore, Asami. There’s Suki and…there’s us. We love you._ ”

The smile on Asami’s face was ear to ear. “I love you too. Both of you. Thank you. Go to bed now.” She teased and enjoyed hearing him laugh.

“ _I will. Good luck. Kiss that girl for us._ ”

“Twice.” She added before they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Pema had agreed to take Suki for the day, so Asami just had to prepare herself to see her father again. After all these years.

\----------------

“Have you been out here all night?”

From her spot on the bench just outside where everyone was sleeping, Korra turned back to see Opal lingering behind her. She was still fully dressed in her air glider suit and looked exhausted.

Korra shrugged. “Just going over some things.” It was true. Korra had spent the rest of the night trying to convince herself that this wouldn’t be a fight with Kuvira. Su made a mistake. She had let her emotions get the better of her, and she made a mistake going after Kuvira. It was hard for Korra to interject much in these matters because she hadn’t been around for them. Korra knew she was stepping back into the fire with no idea where the flames were coming from. The truth was, Su had seemed like the one who was going too far. Kuvira had been quick to agree to a truce, after all.

Kuvira was just defending herself.

“You’re going to have to fight her, Korra. You have to stop her.”

“Opal,” Korra breathed. “It’s…not that simple.”

She heard a huff behind her. “Did she play you too?”

“What?” Korra quirked a brow back at Opal who had her arms crossed with a glare. “She didn’t _play_ me.”

“Oh no? You wouldn’t know if she did. Bolin certainly didn’t.”

Korra frowned. “Bolin?”

“Didn’t you hear?” Opal seemed ready to burst, like she’d set up this conversation just to vent about it. “Bolin is a proud member of Kuvira’s army. He’s turned his back on me...on my family. He thinks her cause is justified. Capturing my family is not justified! There’s nothing right about what Kuvira’s doing.”

“I know her methods are a little harsh, Opal. But I don’t think she’s out to hurt anyone.”

Opal rolled her eyes. “She’s marching her giant army into every city in the Earth Kingdom and _demanding_ that they surrender to her. How can you see that and _not_ see what she’s doing?”

The words were harsh. Marching and surrendering were terms meant to dominate. But what Kuvira had done was re-stabilize the Earth Kingdom in her absence. She’d done the work Korra hadn’t been able to do for three years. Korra had spent those years away, and had been unable to help. What right did she have to come back and pretend she knew how to make this better?

“Opal, I promise you, I will _fix_ this tomorrow.”

Suddenly Opal’s glare turned into a sad pout. “Korra, I don’t need you to _fix_ it. You need to _stop_ it. You need to take down Kuvira’s army.”

It was just so simple to everyone. Su had said the exact same thing.

 _Go into the Avatar state and destroy Kuvira’s army_.

Did they really think that she was capable of that? Of fighting an army? Yes, she was the Avatar, and certainly she’d regained the Avatar state, but she was far from her best right now. She hadn’t fought anyone in _three_ years. She had barely overcome the challenge of sleeping through the entire night or working through an oncoming panic attack by herself. These were the few victories that Korra had had in the last year.

With this in mind, the idea of standing up to an army seemed impossible.

_Maybe I should have stayed gone. At least then I wouldn’t disappoint anyone._

Korra shook her head. She wasn’t a disappointment; she was just working her way back. And this madness was all coming so fast toward her. She couldn’t be pushed like this. Not yet.

Standing up, Korra stepped over to Opal and put her hands on her shoulders. She waited for Opal to look at her. “You have to trust me, Opal. If it comes to it, I’ll do what I have to tomorrow. But you heard Kuvira, Su broke the truce. I haven’t, and I won’t if I don’t have to.” She felt Opal start to pull away, and Korra held her steady. “Give me a chance to work this out _peacefully_. Please.”

“And if you can’t?”

She swallowed against the dryness of her throat. She _was_ the Avatar, the last year had at least given her that back. “Then I’ll stop her.”


	2. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra loses a fight and Asami regains something she lost.

Asami was very aware of the fact that she’d hardly looked up from the Pai Sho board since they’d started playing. Her knee was twitching up and down as fast as it could and no matter how hard she tried to stop it, she couldn’t control how nervous she felt being here.

It was strange for Asami to see her father like this. He had lost _so_ much weight and his once ashen grey hair was now white like snow. He looked tired, perhaps healthier from having little else to do but exercise in prison and eat less which had caused his drop in weight. Still, his eyes were so soft and gentle, a far cry from the ones that had stared at her through those mecha suits and raised a hand to end her life.

“I read in the paper that you gave up controlling responsibilities of Future Industries.” He spoke quietly and Asami glanced up to see him looking at her.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment and moved a piece on the board. “It was necessary.”

“But you’re back now?”

Asami sighed. “Dad…”

“You don’t have to answer anything.” He said with a smile in his voice. “I merely read about it in the papers and was curious. You’ve always been so steadfast about your work.”

Finally, she looked up at him and was oddly comforted by the tender look on his face.  “After everything that happened with the Red Lotus three years ago, I had…” Asami suddenly remembered who she was talking to and what she had decided he would know of it. “Personal matters that required more of my time than the board deemed necessary. I stepped down to allow them more freedom and to tend to some things. Then I was told that the company needed me back.” She shrugged. “So I took it.”

“Personal matters were solved then?” He asked while moving a piece on the board. When she saw what he’d done she grew frustrated. He always knew how to counter her moves.

She stared studiously at the game. “No,” She touched her finger to a piece for a moment then pulled away. It was too obvious of a move. “They weren’t, but…I spent too much of my life putting my happiness on hold for everyone else.” She eventually made a subtler move and crossed her arms defensively. “I’m a creator, Dad.” She gave him a fleeting glance and knew he was watching her. “You may have taken a lot of things away from me but…never that.”

They were silent for a long while after that. They were merely playing their game, one that Asami was trying far too hard to win. As if beating him at Pai Sho would somehow make her feel better. Except she wasn’t winning, because he knew all of her moves and had more experience playing.

After a while however, the experience became oddly comfortable as Asami found herself enjoying the challenge and after each move she made she swore she saw him smiling.

“So,” he finally spoke again just as she started to retreat her pieces. “How badly did they mess up the company when you left?”

Asami sighed and couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling. “It was a nightmare. They’d gone with the most expensive and intrusive design imaginable. The spirit vines in the city aren’t going to be run over. You have to work around them, but don’t tell that to Ken Tanaka. He thought that you could just build through them and they’d move.”

Hiroshi chuckled. “Well, who doesn’t want to be chased by moving vines while riding to work in the morning?”

“Exactly!” Asami said as she threw her hands in the air. “The spirit vines are a part of the city now. They were brought here and are expected to live with us just as much as we’re expected to live with them. We have to adapt and maintain balance. Just like Korra would have—“ Asami froze as the name fell from her lips. It wasn’t a matter of not wanting to think of Korra or say her name, just not in front of her former Equalist father. Not when he knew nothing of their relationship, or the child they’d had together. There were a lot of secrets Asami wasn’t ready to share with him. Loving the Avatar was at the top of the list.

“Asami,” he spoke soothingly. “You can talk about the Avatar as much as you want. I do not hold any grudges towards her or other benders anymore. I’m not sure if I ever really did. It was just a cause to direct my grief towards.” Sadness crossed his eyes as he stared down at the table. “I realized it a while ago, but by then it was too late.” He was quiet for a moment and Asami considered saying something, but the idea of offering him comfort didn’t feel right. Eventually, he refocused on her. “I know you care for your friends very much. I saw it in the way you protected them and fought _with_ them. I’m glad you have such strong relationships in your life.”

Asami didn’t have it in her to tell him that she hadn’t seen any of them in months, outside of a few chance meetings with Mako. Then before they could even finish their game, a guard stepped up behind Hiroshi.

“Apologies ma’am, but visiting hours are over.”

She could see the disappointment in her father’s eyes and glanced down at their unfinished game. Pushing her chair back, Asami stood up and brushed off her skirt as the guard helped her father stand.

For a moment, she considered smiling at him. But instead, she just held a gaze long enough to speak. “I’ll be back.” Her words drew a smile across his lips that broke her heart in a way. It was as if she’d just given him his freedom. He seemed so relieved. “I’ll beat you next time too.”

He laughed gently and she could see tears brimming in his eyes. “You could have beaten me this time.”

“No dad,” she finally felt a grin pull at the corner of her mouth. “Not this time.”

\---------------

Korra could only see the sky above her and could faintly hear the sound of Opal crying. There were soft words being spoken. Jinora was trying to calm her down, and Ikki was quietly arguing with Meelo that they had to leave.

The pain was familiar for Korra, and perhaps even a little welcoming. It was physical. Her body hurt, her ass had been thoroughly kicked and she could feel every bruise and scratch she’d acquired. Her body felt as it should, like it had been pounded on for a good hour by the best earth and metalbender she’d ever fought against.

Still, she knew it was more than that. It wasn’t that Kuvira was good, though she was. It was that Korra was still slow. Something wasn’t right and she knew it the first time Kuvira knocked her down. She was hesitant. Every move Korra made was complacent and held back, like she was afraid to put all her effort into her strikes. Even when Kuvira had knocked her down and taunted her repeatedly, Korra couldn’t find the courage to fight her best.

That was until she realized she had no other choice, and she called on the Avatar state, only to have it turn on her.

 _I thought we got rid of the poison_.

She’d heard Jinora’s words and felt that old fear return. Yes, the poison was gone and she felt better because of it, but what damage had been done in those three years? Even before that, fighting Zaheer with _so much_ of it in her. How badly had her body been ravaged? Would she ever be as strong as she had been before?

Opal’s cries were louder now, and the pain was radiating at the bumpiness of the ride and Korra felt the world darkening around her.

_You’re having a panic attack and you need to calm down._

She slowed her breathing down, and began to squeeze her hands into fists in a matching rhythm.

 _One, two, three._ She took a deep breath. _One, two, three._ And another. _One, two, three._ Korra continued this pattern for a few moments and felt the corners of her eyes start to refocus. Then the world stopped spinning and her heartbeat steadied.

“Korra?” Suddenly Jinora’s voice was next to her and Korra glanced over at her and felt her throat scratch as she tried to speak.

“Hang on,” she held up one finger and continued to maintain her breathing patterns. It was far from a trained skill, but just focusing on breathing had saved her from a few panic attacks over the last year. She just needed her throat to loosen up and her head to stop swirling. The pain was keeping her grounded. And there was a burning sensation in her back from when Kuvira hooked her hands in the metal and slammed her down.

Korra was tired of being slammed into rocks.

Jinora never moved away as Korra finally started to recover from it all and began refocusing on the clouds passing around her.

“Sorry,” she mumbled before looking over at Jinora who seemed extremely worried. Korra tried to sit up and felt a pain shoot through her arm. “Ah!” A cry ripped from her throat and Jinora placed hands on her back to keep her steady. Taking a few more breaths to push through the pain, Korra finally sat up and scooted back against the edge of the saddle.

Once settled, she saw Opal sitting similarly to her only she was curled up and staring off into the distance. Korra wanted to say something. She felt like she should…apologize. For not acting sooner or maybe for not being stronger, faster or more aggressive. Korra had lost a fight, but Opal had lost a lot more.

“Your arm.” Jinora said and drew Korra’s attention. She glanced down and saw the thick gash that started at her bicep and ran down her forearm. Blood was trickling slowly from it. The cut wasn’t deep, but it was certainly painful.

“Did anyone else get hurt?” Korra asked, before panicking for a moment and checking the front where Meelo was steering Pepper and Ikki was lingering behind him. “You…you guys should have left.” Korra chewed on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. “You could have been hurt.”

Jinora touched her shoulder and smiled. “You said you weren’t leaving. You think we slept in your bed and listened to you snore just to leave you behind?” Korra laughed despite her battered state. “We’re going back to Republic City to figure out what to do next.”

When Jinora mentioned Republic City, Korra suddenly became very aware of _everything_ that awaited her there.

“I need water.” She said as a throb started to roll across her lower back. “I don’t have any on me and I need to heal this cut and just…all of me.” She tried to laugh again but it sounded weak and made her feel even worse.

“Korra,” Jinora squeezed her shoulder gently. “What happened when you went into the Avatar state? I thought...” She didn’t finish her thought, she didn’t need to. Korra knew where she was going.

Looking away, Korra pondered for a moment if she should just say it. If she should tell Jinora about the dark Avatar that had chased her across the world. How she thought and hoped that with the release of the poison, she’d never have to see those eyes, _her_ eyes, looking back at her again.

The familiar doubt crept into her mind. It wasn’t that she was afraid of telling anyone, she was just so certain she had beaten it. Bringing it up now would feel like a step backwards, after just barely starting to take steps in the right direction.

“Just a little rusty,” Korra finally answered, and she felt good knowing that it was at least partly true. This was her first real fight in almost three years. Cage fighting earthbenders underneath the streets of the Earth Kingdom wasn’t the same as battling someone who’d trained for years in combat. Peeking over Jinora’s shoulder, ignoring the doubt in her eyes, Korra concentrated on Opal. “We’re going to get them back, Opal. I promise.”

Instead of an answer, Opal merely nodded and wiped at her eyes. She never looked at Korra, her eyes still trained on something far away.

“We’ve got some water up ahead!” Ikki said as she airbent over the saddle to sit down. There was worry in her eyes as she looked Korra up and down. Ikki was noticing every mark, Korra knew. “Do you think we’re far enough away to stop?”

Korra nodded. “They’re not coming for us.” She sighed and pulled her knees up to her body and rested her chin on them. “We’re no threat to Kuvira’s army right now.” Ikki was still staring at her with worry and Korra managed to find her smile. “We will be though. We’re not out of this yet.”

As Meelo steered Pepper to land, Ikki scooted over next to Korra and curled into her while Jinora returned to Opal.

The quiet this provided only gave Korra time to think about what was waiting for her in Republic City.

\---------------

Asami put away her work as the ferry stopped at the dock of Air Temple Island. The hummingbird suits were coming along well enough, but they weren’t ready to be constructed yet. She needed to find a way to gain more maneuverability with them. She had to be able to easily swing them around the aircraft or structure they were meant to repair and hit a precise point. But they just weren’t there yet.

After meeting with her father, Asami had taken a bit more time to head back to her home and use the gym to relieve some stress from all the anxiety that led up to seeing him.

When Asami had returned home from her stay in the Southern Water Tribe, five months pregnant and accompanied by Korra’s mother, she’d decided that she wanted her home back and found a new place for Bolin and Mako’s family to live. It wasn’t hard to convince them to go when she promised a few of their cousins that they could come and use her racetrack if they wanted.

Still, she hadn’t been in the best place when she first returned home, and it had been frustration that made her drive them away.

The sun was starting to set as her boots clapped against the concrete of the island and Asami headed to the foyer to find Pema. Her loose, black skirt swayed with each step she took. It was still strange to really grasp that she was picking up her daughter. As unexpected as Suki’s arrival was, it happened so fast that Asami never really had time to question anything.

The pregnancy had been rough on her and she had spent the last month of it on Air Temple Island along with Senna, and even Tonraq had arrived for Suki’s birth. Asami could remember being held up in bed, awaiting Suki’s arrival with a stream of airbenders and Korra’s parents coming in and out to see her. She had been so scared at the time, and it was the first real time that the weight of everything had set in. That she was going to be a mother, a single mother, and that this had all been thrown on her without her having any real say at all.

Then Suki came and all the fear went away. Sure, Asami had questions and doubts and everything about her future was suddenly thrown into chaos. But her love for her daughter was never in question. Suki stole her heart the second Asami held her and she decided from that moment on that she could handle anything. Because she wasn’t alone, she had a family again, a new family and it wasn’t scarred with her mother’s death or tainted by her father’s betrayal. Suki was Asami’s future. She made Asami feel like she could do anything, which led to Asami wanting to _do_ everything. She worked, she sparred and started learning new fighting skills from some of the best trainers she could find.

Asami wanted to be better, stronger, smarter and ready for anything and everything that might come her way. Because she had a new family to protect, a new future to fight for.

When Asami finally found Pema, she and Suki were sitting on the floor with Suki between her legs getting a new, red, Future Industries shirt pulled over her head. Asami hadn’t had any baby clothes ready when she was pregnant with Suki, so when she could no longer physically go to work, she spent a lot of time at home making outfits that Suki could grow into.

Of course Suki was growing every day and now Asami would need to make more. Today though, she looked extremely cute in her red shirt.

“Hey you,” Asami flattened her skirt out and sat down across from Pema. When Suki turned and smiled at the sound of her voice, Asami felt her heart swell. It was a more recent development that her voice and her presence was actually being noticed by her daughter. Suki had also reached an age where she was beginning to develop a bit of a personality. There were things she liked and others she didn’t. For Asami, it was a never ending, daily discovery of this new person in her life.

When Suki saw her, she reached out for Asami, who scooted a bit closer and took Suki into her arms.

“She’s been a mess today, spilled food all over the island.”

Asami smiled and tucked Suki into her arm. “Were you driving poor Aunt Pema crazy today? I see you had to change shirts.”

“Oh yes,” Pema sighed as she stood up and dusted off her robes. “She spit up all over the other you made. I’ve washed it, but it’s not dry yet. She and Rohan played too much.”

“I’m glad Rohan is finally warming up to her. And don’t worry, we can keep the shirt here for the next time she comes over.” Asami spoke to Pema even as she continued to watch her daughter’s subtle movements.

“How did your visit go?” Pema asked as she picked some things up off the floor and Asami settled Suki in her lap and felt her small hands wrap around her fingers.

“It was...” she nibbled on her bottom lip and searched for the proper word. “Easier than I thought it would be.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “He was remorseful and…soft.” She laughed slightly. “ _Thin_. He’s lost a lot of weight but…in a good way, you know? He looked—I mean he’s older, his hair is white and his eyes are tired. But he’s strong. I think.” Her thoughts cluttered so much in her mind that she couldn’t really express them properly and she finished with a shrug before leaning down and kissing Suki atop her head.

Pema started to fold a few blankets and stack them up neatly in a pile. “Are you planning to go back?”

“Yeah,” Asami scooted away from Suki, keeping a hand on her back to balance her before standing up. She then picked her daughter up again as the little girl squealed with delight. “When I first went there I just wanted to give him his letters back. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I want to forgive him; you know?” Pema nodded but let Asami continue. “I don’t want to hold onto that for the rest of my life. If I can…build even a shaky bridge between us, it’ll be worth it.”

“What about Suki? Are you planning to divulge any of that to him?” There was the tiniest of smirks on Pema’s face as Asami followed her out of the foyer and into the hallway where she would be depositing the blankets into the rooms.

“You mean am I going to tell my father that the Avatar knocked me up?” She raised a brow and snorted at Pema’s wink. “No, I’m not. At least…not any time soon. I want him to continue to like benders, so telling him that _the_ bender got me pregnant and then disappeared probably wouldn’t do much to help that.”

Pema stepped into one of the rooms and laid a blanket on the bed. “Fair enough, but you know Korra would have come back if she knew.”

“I know,” Asami felt Suki’s head rest against her shoulder. She always fell asleep if Asami moved around with her. “I’m not mad at Korra for not being here. If we could have contacted her she would have come back, and when she does come back I’ll let her into Suki’s life no questions asked but…the two of us are going to be on such shaky ground when or… _if_ she comes back, that I’m almost glad she wasn’t here. It would have only made things more stressful for both of us.”

“Okay, so let me ask you a question then.” Pema stopped in the doorway and turned to face Asami. “Are you still in love with her?”

Asami’s head fell a bit, tendrils of hair falling into her face. She ran her hand up and down Suki’s back and answered. “Yes.” The word came out more hesitantly than she intended and it carried doubt in the tone.

“But?” Doubt that Pema clearly picked up on.

“But I don’t want to be.” Asami noted the confused look on Pema’s face. It made her smile because she looked about as confused as Asami felt. “It’s complicated.”

“I can see that.” She laughed and continued her work before finally changing the subject. “Are you two planning to stay for dinner? I can teach you how to make that soup you like.”

Having dinner at the island was a bit of a regular thing because Asami was never very well versed in the kitchen. She wanted to learn and had been trying to from Pema for some time. Either way, it would be nice to have some company and she’d brought most of Suki’s things with her after working out.

“Okay, so long as—“ before she could finish, Tenzin rounded the corner with wide eyes and a hopeful smile.

“They found her!” He beamed and Asami felt her heart skip. “Jinora just contacted me through her projections and they’ve found Korra. Apparently things didn’t go well in Zaofu and they’re heading back to tell us more, but Korra’s with them and—“ Tenzin’s voice trailed off as he noticed Asami standing next to his wife. “Oh, Asami I apologize, I didn’t see you there.”

Even though Asami knew the day would come, she still wasn’t fully prepared for it. Though she often wondered if she would _ever_ be prepared to actually see Korra again. It was just something meant to happen and she would have to deal with it.

“It’s fine, Tenzin. I—I’m glad to hear that she’s okay.” Asami suddenly wanted to be very much alone. “I appreciate the offer, Pema, but I think we’ll spend the night in. I have work to do and Suki needs a bath.”

She saw Pema frown but nod all the same before she reached out and touched Asami’s shoulder. “Okay, well if you need me to watch her again just let me know.”

“Thanks. I’m planning on taking her to the office tomorrow. But we’ll come by I’m sure when…” she glanced over at Tenzin who looked guilty at even mentioning Korra in front of her. “I’m sure we’ll be around more soon.”

With a few quick and awkward goodbyes, Asami was on the last ferry from Air Temple Island. She held her daughter a little tighter on the way home.

\------------------

“Are you…still here?” Korra opened one eye at the sound of Jinora’s voice and smiled.

She put her hands down in her lap and nodded before dropping her legs from the rock she was sitting on. “Yeah, just trying to see if I could tap into the Spirit World.”

“Still nothing?” Jinora asked as she sat down across from her.

“Nope,” Korra earthbent a small piece of rock up and sat down next to her. “I haven’t been able to meditate into the Spirit World since the poison. I walked in once through the portal in the North and went to the Tree of Time to try and see if it might help, but it’s like my spiritual connection is gone.”

Jinora nodded and seemed to be thinking about everything Korra had said. She crossed her own legs but didn’t seem to be meditating, just relaxing. “Maybe you’re just overthinking it. You might be trying too hard.”

Korra snorted. “You’re not wrong about that. I’ve spent the last three years thinking about it.” She puffed out a breath of air and settled back gingerly on her elbows. “I used to be so focused on being who I used to be that I didn’t allow myself to just…grow up, you know?”

“You seem much calmer.” Jinora noted and Korra could only shrug.

“I think so,” she reached up and grabbed a strand of her short hair. “I’ve changed a lot in the last year. My hair is shorter, I’m taller, which would be great if everyone else hadn’t grown up with me. I swear you’re a year away from being taller than me.”

Jinora smirked. “I’d say six months.”

“Ha.” Korra deadpanned before remembering what they’d been talking about. “I just realized that I had to focus on feeling better, not _being_ better. The panic attacks and the nightmares, the not sleeping and not eating...it was all just…it was wrecking me. I had to sort it all out, and I’m okay now. Mentally I’m just…I’m trying to take better care of myself.”

For Korra, that was the most important reason she left. To be able to take care of _herself_.

“You look a lot better. Still in pain from the fight?”

“No,” Korra picked up her once cut arm and checked it. The blood was gone and the only hint of injury was a faint red mark. “I feel better now. Bruised my ego a little bit I suppose.” She tried to laugh but it sounded fragile.

“Korra, you have to remember that Kuvira has been fighting this battle for three years. She’s had her fair share of resistance from what my father’s told me. You just came back, it’s not like anyone expected you to fix it all in a day.”

“Maybe not fix it all, but…” Korra looked to her right where Opal was sitting at the edge of the small river where they’d gotten water for Korra to heal with. She was swirling wind around with a free hand, shifting the flow of the river in various spots only to send it back the way it was supposed to go again. She hadn’t said a word since they’d landed, and Korra knew that all of her thoughts were still in Zaofu where her entire family was being help captive. “I still feel like I could have done more.”

“We will do more,” Jinora said reassuringly. “We’ll go back home and figure out what to do next.”

At this point, it was all they could do.

They fell silent for a long while. Long enough that Meelo had fallen asleep next to his sister and Opal moved to sit next to the fire Korra started. Jinora was still by Korra when she finally broke the silence.

“I know Ikki said that you guys aren’t supposed to say stuff about her but…is Asami happy?”

“Korra…” Jinora warned with a flimsily threatening look. “I’m not supposed to say.”

Korra rolled her eyes. “I know, you and your siblings finally _listening_ to your dad once and of course it’s to spite me.” Jinora laughed with an agreeable nod before Korra continued. “But I don’t need details. Just…tell me she’s happy. Tell me that…I didn’t hurt her as badly as I’ve imagined it over the last year.”

With a heavy sigh, Jinora stared up at Korra with a warm, sympathetic look. “I can’t tell you that you didn’t hurt her, Korra. You did.” Hearing the actual words stung far worse that Korra could ever imagine. The idea of Asami being in pain in any way was terrible but being the _source_ of that pain was unbearable. “But she is doing okay now. I promise.” Korra nodded, brushing away at the tears in her eyes and trying to find solace in Jinora’s words. “Do you...do you still want to be with her?”

Closing her eyes, Korra swallowed away her fear and nodded. “I do, more than anything." She couldn't stop herself from smiling. "I'm still in love with her." 


	3. Can You Hear Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra attempts to reconnect.

_“Are you okay?” Senna’s voice was gentle as she stood next to Asami, who was resting on the closed toilet seat in the cramped bathroom aboard the ship._

_“I’m fine,” Asami said though she sniffled a second later and shook her head._

_Senna knelt down in front of her and ran a thumb across her cheek. “Really? Because it’s looks like you’ve been crying.” She teased with a soft smile. “Water getting to you?”_

_Asami nodded. “I don’t think—“ she carefully touched her stomach and frowned. “The baby doesn’t like the boat ride much.”_

_“See,” Senna stood up and grabbed a towel from the rack and ran it through the water. When she came back, she pushed aside Asami’s hair and dabbed at her forehead. “Now that you’re a mother you can blame things on your baby.”_

_Despite her shaken state, Asami laughed and nodded as the cool sensation of the water against her skin relaxed her. Senna had been so great during the last five months since Korra left. Tonraq as well, and when Asami decided she wanted to return to Republic City to have the baby, they were incredibly supportive. To the point that Senna agreed to stay with her throughout the pregnancy and Tonraq planned on coming to the city in time for the birth of his grandchild._

_For Asami, the thought of having this baby she never saw coming was a long process. It took her until the third month to finally decide it was something she wanted to go through. The only thing she could think about was that this was something she and Korra made together. How? She had no idea and the reasoning behind it scared and worried her. But all of the tests that Katara and Kya had done showed nothing but a healthy baby growing inside of her. Once Asami made the decision to keep it, to become a mother and give this baby a home, the only place she wanted to be was back in the city she loved. So when Future Industries called and practically begged her to return, the decision had been made._

_“Do you think she’s okay?” Asami asked as Senna put the towel down and gave a thoughtful look._

_“I’m certain of it,” she said confidently. “My daughter is a lot of things, and resourceful is at the top of that list. You learn to just…accept certain things when your child is the Avatar.” She looked suddenly conflicted, but it passed a moment later. “It’s not always easy, but Korra’s life was never meant to be easy.”_

_Asami nodded before Senna helped her to her feet and they returned to the small bedroom. Sitting down, Asami laid her head back against the wall and exhaled softly. She was trying to force the swirling sickness in her stomach to go away._

_“Do you ever wish…” the question started before Asami could fully realize what she was asking. The words had escaped now and she could feel Senna’s eyes on her. She decided it was too late to take it back, and continued. “Do you ever wish she wasn’t the Avatar? Was there ever a point where you thought…about how your life might be different if Korra was just…a girl or even just a waterbender?”_

_Senna took a deep breath and sat down on the bed next to Asami. She laid her head against the wall as well and stared up at the roof above them. Asami felt Senna’s fingers lace through her own and she was appreciative of the contact as the boat continued to sway uncomfortably._

_“When we first found out, absolutely.” She smiled. “Tonraq was so proud but…we were blindsided by it all. Then suddenly there were White Lotus at our home and Korra was taken to the compound. Those early years we were with her a lot, since she was just a baby. As wild as she was, she still needed her mommy for things and the world revolved around her father in her eyes.” Squeezing Asami’s hand, Senna let out a heavy sigh before she pushed on. “Then her training started and…we were asked to—oh how did they put it—allow her room to grow?” She laughed. “Every year that passed we became less and less involved in our daughter’s life. The only thing that kept us around was that she was stubborn, and enough of a trouble maker that she would sneak out and come see us all the time.”_

_“Do you think she ever regretted it?”_

_“At the time?” Senna asked and Asami nodded. “No…I think she hated the way she was handled sometimes but she never regretted it. Being the Avatar meant… means the world to Korra.” A smile formed on Senna’s lips. “I used to think about what it might have been like if she’d just been a regular waterbender like me and Tonraq. I don’t see Korra as a stay at home mom. Not with how much she loved to get her hands dirty.” She swallowed thickly and Asami noticed her smile was gone. “She probably would have joined the military, probably would have fought on the frontline of the civil war when Unalaq invaded the South. The truth is,” Senna was stroking her thumb over the back of Asami’s hand. Something Korra used to do when they held hands. “I think my daughter was always destined to fight, to strive to help people and go against the worst people in our world. These days I’m just thankful she has four elements to fight with.”_

_“Ladies,” a soft knock rapped against the steel door. Asami looked up to see one of the crewmen peeking through. “We’ve arrived at the Temple.”_

_Senna nodded. “Thank you,” she stood as the man left, still holding Asami’s hand as she pulled her to her feet. “Come on. Tenzin and his family are going to be thrilled with the news.”_

\---------------

Gently stroking her fingers through Tsukiko’s hair, Asami repositioned herself a bit on the couch to find more comfort. She shrugged down her top just a little bit more to give her daughter more room to work with before returning to her notes that were lying on the cushion next to her.

Becoming a mother had put all of Asami’s multitasking skills to work. When she realized that she wanted to go back to work and start doing more things for herself, she knew it couldn’t come at a cost to taking care of Suki. So she started trying to balance both, and the first thing she had to do was make sure everyone at Future Industries knew that she came with a baby now. Which meant that on some days she was going to bring Suki into work, and Suki could be fussy and cry and scream and have bad days. They would just have to deal with it.

What set Asami apart was that it never affected her work. It meant that she worked well into the night sometimes and woke up earlier than she should to put in more time. But as long as she continued to outwork everyone, not a single person within her company could say that she wasn’t carrying her own weight.

But it wasn’t about that for Asami. She genuinely loved the job and there were so many built up ideas in her head from the time away that she felt like she couldn’t get them all down at times.

Still, sometimes it was hard to focus on work. Like right now, when she was both stressed out and a bit enamored with watching Suki eat that she couldn’t keep herself focused. Asami reached up and discarded her glasses, setting them down on top of her notes before concentrating on Suki and gently rubbing her back.

A few moments later, she was finished with her meal and Asami cleaned her face before buttoning her shirt back up and standing.

“That’s a good girl, you have an appetite just like…” Asami hesitated for a moment then rolled her eyes at herself.

_You won’t explode if you say her name. You are going to have to see her again when she comes back._

She spent the next twenty minutes just meandering around the estate and gently patting and rubbing Suki’s back trying to make her burp. These were some of her favorite things. Just wandering around and holding her baby. Showing her new things and pointing out stuff that would hopefully mean more to her in the future.

A few hours and one jointed nap later, Asami placed Suki down on her stomach atop the blanket and watched her push up just a bit with her hands. She had slowly but surely started to gain more and more movement on her stomach and Asami was fairly certain she’d be able to roll over on her own soon.

She had just dropped Naga off at Air Temple Island that morning. With Korra coming home there was no doubt in her mind that Naga needed to be there to greet her. That didn’t stop the polar bear-dog from trying as hard as she could to follow Asami back onto the ferry. They’d been together so much over the last year that the attachment was strong, for both of them. They had both grieved Korra leaving. Eventually, Asami let Naga start sleeping with her and they had worked in unison when it came to taking care of Suki

Still, Naga would probably forget all about that when Korra showed up. She was _her_ dog after all and Asami was fine with that, really she was. Even if she felt a little lonelier without Naga in the house.

There was a voice in the back of her mind that was already blaming Korra for messing things up. She hated it, she didn’t want to be mad at Korra anymore. It didn’t seem right to be. Asami’s life wasn’t bad by any means. She had her job back, she had her little girl, she had people who cared about her and now she’d have Korra around to help with Suki, if she wanted.

That didn’t shut her mind off though. She still loved Korra, it was as simple as that. The year away hadn’t quelled her feelings. Mornings continued to start with Korra being on her mind. Nights ended with Korra in her thoughts, some of them extremely vivid and intense. Asami still _wanted_ Korra and still longed to hold her at night and kiss her, touch her and tell her she loved her. No matter how many times she told herself to let go, she just couldn’t.

\-----------

Korra flicked her fingers over her hair and pulled the water out and carefully discard it back into the tub before she stepped out of the shower. The last twenty minutes had been the most comfortable she’d been in the previous year. Standing in this shower, on Air Temple Island and knowing that Tenzin’s family was nearby was incredibly soothing. It made Korra realize just how lonely she’d been when she was gone.

The traveling had been all Korra could have hoped for. She went as far as her legs would carry her. She walked and bartered rides on boats crossing seas. If someone in a small village needed help, she did what she could. Few people recognized her in the green clothing with short hair, and those that did had all been mostly welcoming. When she finally settled down and started chasing her ghost to that underground fighting arena, Korra used what money she made from that to rent a room nearby.

It was there she finally learned to control her sleeping. She was able to chase away the nightmares and darker thoughts before falling asleep. It was certainly not foolproof and hadn’t always worked, but it was enough of an accomplishment that she considered it a victory.

Still, none of those places made her feel this good. They weren’t like Air Temple Island. She felt like she was finally where she belonged. Not even the palace in the Southern Water Tribe had been this calming. Something about the island was peaceful. It was home. This city was her home, no matter where she’d been or where she had gone. This was where she belonged.

The sudden feeling of a cold nose on her bacj made Korra yelp and jump forward. She turned around only to be tackled by Naga who started licking her face.

“Okay, you big goof. I missed you too.” Korra laughed heartily as Naga’s heavy tongue lapped at her face. “I am naked, Naga! And screaming because of you. If Tenzin comes through that door and sees me, I’ll never be allowed to stay here again!”

Eventually she climbed back to her feet and Naga followed her to the closet where she found some of her old clothes, right where she left them three years ago.

She put on a pair of blue pants and a vest before taking a pair of long armbands and sliding them up over her bicep. Being back in her old blues felt good, it made her feel more like herself. Certainly after fighting Kuvira her confidence was shaky, but this felt better. More like Korra, the Korra from before. Yes, she had grown up and she had changed. She was trying to find out who she was supposed to be, but to at least look like the Avatar everyone remembered again made her smile.

By the time Korra made her way out and into the foyer, she was met with three sets of eyes looking at her. It was Tenzin, Bumi and Pema. Each of them beaming as they saw her.

Bumi closed the distance quickly and threw his arms around Korra who chuckled hesitantly at the contact and hugged back. She felt a hand fall across her back and knew it was Tenzin. Over Bumi’s shoulder she saw Pema wink at her and her smile grew.

“It’s so good to have you back, Korra.” Pema said with a soft tone.

Prying away, Korra wiped at her eyes and nodded. “It’s good to be home. I missed you all so much. I missed your shower too.”

“Ha!” Bumi cackled and clutched his stomach. “A girl after my own heart. She knows where her priorities lie. Bet you missed Pema’s cooking too, didn’t you?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Korra nodded. “I don’t think I’ve had a home cooked meal at all in the past year.”

Pema grinned. “Well that’s good, because I’ve got big plans for your return meal. In fact,” she turned back to look down the hall. “I should probably get started if I’m going to make Rohan’s special rice.”

Not wanting to ask what _special rice_ was, Korra turned back to Tenzin who had a thoughtful look on his face. “What?”

He sighed. “Your parents.”

“Oh,” Korra frowned and looked at her bare feet. “I—I should probably call them, huh?”

“It would be for the best. I’m certain they would like to know you’re okay.”

Korra ran a hand through her hair. “Have you…talked to them much since…since I left?”

“I have,” he put his hands behind his back. “I spoke with your father before I sent my children out to find you. He was glad to know we were looking but I believe he trusted that you were taking care of yourself.”

“I was,” Korra shrugged slightly. “Or at least, I was trying too. I—I was searching for something, everything. I don’t know.”

Tenzin stroked his beard and focused his gaze on her. “Did you find it?”

“I’m not sure. I—I found answers. Like the poison?” Tenzin nodded for her to continue. “Not all gone. I had traces of it still in my body and I had to push them out. That’s how I got the Avatar state back.”

His eyes went wide. “You had that poison in your system for three years?”

“I did.”

“I…I can’t believe it. Korra that was metallic…that was…that must have been so painful.”

She smiled, despite the conversation. “It was. I struggled with lower back pain for so long after I started walking and bending again. When the poison was gone, the physical pain went with it.”

“Incredible,” He said in awe. “Your strength is remarkable, Korra."

This made her retreat a little. Having spent the last year on the run, Korra felt far from strong. “Not enough to stop Kuvira.”

“We’ll handle Kuvira, Korra. Nobody expected—“

“I did,” she stopped him calmly. “I didn’t even—it wasn’t close, Tenzin. She tore me apart.”

“You are out of practice,” he insisted before taking a step towards her and patting her shoulder. “I imagine you haven’t had any combat practice in the last three years.”

She shrugged. It didn’t make any sense to tell him about fighting with earthbenders while chasing visions. He wouldn’t understand and he certainly wouldn’t approve. There was a part of Korra that wanted to tell him about her visions and knew that eventually she would. But being back had been so nice, she didn’t want to ruin it just yet.

“I guess not,” she said to end the conversation. “I did a lot of growing up in the last year.”

He smiled. “You have. Your hair is different, your body is stronger and you seem…well.”

Korra nodded. “I’m doing okay. Better than I was. I spent…so much time trying to go back, you know? To be who everyone remembered and I just…I finally realized I couldn’t.” She started to pick at one of her armbands. “I’ll never be able to erase what happened to me. The last three years were the hardest of my life but…I survived them, you know? And what I went through is a part of me now and I just…I have to use it to make myself stronger.” She exhaled slowly and reached up to grab his hand still lingering on her shoulder. “I realized the world doesn’t stop moving just because I want it to. So I’m here now to resume my duties as the Avatar. If the world will have me.”

“I believe the world has been waiting for you, Avatar Korra.” He then settled a much more serious look on her. “First, your mother and father are expecting your call.”

“Right,” she groaned. “Think they’ll yell at me?”

Tenzin shook his head. “I believe your mother will cry.”

“That’s even worse!”

\------------

Softly humming her favorite song, Korra sat down in front of the radio and tried to relax herself enough to make the call. She was nervous, _extremely_ nervous, because her parents had to have been just as blindsided by her leaving as Asami was and she knew it had to have hurt them.

The humming slowed as she reached for the receiver and twisted the dial to call out.

“Southern Water Tribe, this is Avatar Korra requesting to speak with Chief Tonraq?” The feedback howled in her ear and she pulled back. As it calmed down she sat more comfortably and waited for a response. After repeating herself one more time, there was finally a click on the other end.

“ _Korra?_ ”

Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of her father’s voice. “Dad…hi.”

She heard him sigh heavily. “ _You’re okay_.”

“Yeah dad,” Korra felt the heat stinging behind her eyes. “I—I’m okay.”

“ _Korra!_ ” Her mother’s voice broke through and she smiled as the tears spilled over. “ _You’re back? You’re not hurt or anything? Do you want us to come and see you?_ ”

The guilt layered in thick and Korra’s mind started to feel heavy with doubt and a sudden need for distance. She fought through it and held the receiver closer. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered and tried to swallow the struggle in her voice.

“ _You have nothing to apologize for, Korra._ ” Her mother reassured her and it oddly made her feel worse.

Tonraq chortled. “ _It’s true that a little bit of notice would have been nice but…we accepted a long time ago that you control your own life, Korra. A life your mother and I couldn’t begin to understand._ ”

It was a strange feeling, to know that her parents felt the same disconnect to her that she had felt to them from the first night she spent alone in that compound. Becoming the Avatar had isolated her from everyone, including her family, because the responsibility and the history that went along with it was something no other person but herself could ever understand. Once her past lives were taken away, that void became even greater.

“I missed you both. I hope to see you again soon.”

“ _We’ll come soon,_ ” her mother said and Korra was thankful that she sounded more relaxed. “ _Your father is busy and Tenzin has warned us that things where you are have gotten…tense.”_

Korra sighed. “Yeah, Kuvira’s taken her power way too far. She’s trying to become a dictator and…I have to stop her.”

_“You don’t have to do it alone, Korra.”_ Her father said assuredly. “ _You have a tremendous support system around you, you need to let them help_.”

“I know, I—I will.” She had learned yesterday that she wasn’t ready or able to fight this battle alone. “It’s really great to talk to you guys. I—I just…I was wondering…”

“ _We’re not going to give you a status report on Asami, sweetheart.”_ Her father laughed and dashed her hopes.

She pouted. “Come on, at least tell me what I’m in for. Nobody here has given me anything!”

Her mother sighed into the receiver and answered. “ _You need to see her as soon as you can, Korra. Don’t let this wait_.”

“I won’t, I—I’ll call her as soon as we finish. I see that she’s got a line of her own.” Korra traced her finger over Asami’s name on the notepad next to the radio. “Makes sense that she’d want to be connected to everyone.”

_Considering you cut yourself off from her for a year_.

Korra quickly shook those thoughts away.

_“Will you call us again tomorrow, Korra_?” Her father asked and she’d never quite heard him sound so…desperate. “ _We might need daily calls for a couple weeks_.” He laughed to hide how completely serious he clearly was.

It made her smile and want to cry at the same time. She didn’t deserve—

_Don’t discount their love, don’t wash it away with your own self-doubt. They love you, you love them, accept it._

“I’ll absolutely call you tomorrow. I—I love you both, so much.”

_“We love you too, sweetie!_ ” Her mother cried and Tonraq offered the same.

When they finally disconnected, Korra took a few moments to settle herself down before picking up the notepad and turning the receiver to Asami’s dial and holding the mic up to her lips. She had absolutely no idea what to say.

\--------------

“ _Hello…_ ” Asami nearly fell out of her chair in shock when the voice suddenly came through her radio. “ _Asami, are you there?”_

When the voice finally registered, Asami felt her entire body lock up. She wanted to grab the radio and speak but she had no idea what to say. She didn’t even know what the right emotion would be to convey. It was Korra, she sounded hesitant but also extremely hopeful.

She laid her hand on the radio and noticed how much she was shaking.

Asami was certain that Korra felt it was only right to call in and let her know she was home. For Asami, it was wonderful to know that she was back, just to know that she was safe and on Air Temple Island. She was actually in a place that Asami could find if she needed and she took comfort in that.

However, there were no words coming to her for a possible response. This was not how she imagined speaking with Korra again after so long.

“ _You’re probably busy,”_ Korra’s voice came through again, much more disappointed. “ _I don’t even know if you’re hearing this. If you are and…you don’t want to talk to me, I understand. I just…I’m here now and nobody will tell me how you’ve been and I…I would really like to see you. I know you don’t owe me anything and if you don’t want to see me I totally understand. Just…let me know, if…”_ The slow and pained breath Korra took caused Asami to snap down on her bottom lip to fight from grabbing the radio. “ _If you don’t want to see me...because then I’ll know to leave you alone._ ” She tried to say it jokingly, but it only made it all hurt more. _“She’s not there—_ “

The line cut off.

With her heart suddenly racing, Asami reached up to loosen the black tie around her neck. She settled back into her chair and closed her eyes. Twelve months without a word from Korra and she was right there and Asami possum-chickened out.

She stood up from her study workbench, pulled the tie from around her neck and threw it on the floor.

“You’ve got to see her,” she muttered to herself and knew it was true. Hiding wouldn’t do anything. Hiding would only restrict her own life. And if she was as over Korra as she pretended to be, then it wouldn’t make much sense for Korra’s return to suddenly shut her down.

Taking a few quieter steps, Asami peeked over the crib in the room where Suki was fast asleep. A strange thought occurred to Asami. She realized that if she’d been awake, that would have been the first time Suki heard Korra’s voice.

This didn’t sit well with her, because Korra deserved a _chance_ to be Suki’s mother just as she was. Asami couldn’t hide from Korra because it wasn’t only herself that she would be hiding. It was this little girl who deserved two parents and if Korra was willing, would get _two_ parents.

Resisting the urge to stroke her fingers through Suki’s enticing tuft of hair, Asami stepped back to the phone and turned the dial a few times. She was ready to see Korra, but she was not ready to talk to her _today_.

“Detective Mako, please?” She asked once the connection went through.

Her foot was viciously tapping against the floor. After a few moments, he finally picked up. “ _This is Detective Mako_.”

“Wow, quick response and everything. Day off from Wu?” She loved teasing Mako about his requested assignment of guarding the prince.

He groaned. “ _He’s taking a personal day to pamper himself. Apparently the toll from Kuvira denying him his spot was overwhelming_.”

Asami snorted. “Mako that was over a week ago. How in the world do you put up with him?”

“ _Trust me, it wasn’t my choice. And he’s not…all bad. He’s just…a little terrible at dealing with problems, and making people trust him. Or understanding when to stop talking…or when a situation isn’t about him. I think that little girl of yours would be a better leader than him, Asami.”_ Mako laughed but she could tell he was only half joking. “ _I’m certain you didn’t call to talk about Wu though. What’s on your mind?_ ”

“Korra.” She said flatly and waited for his response.

“ _Okay, what else is new? If you called me every time Korra was on your mind, I’d never get anything done._ ”

“First of all,” she held her finger to the phone even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I don’t think about Korra that much. Second of all, shut up. And lastly…I’m not calling because I’m thinking of her, I’m calling because she’s _here_.”

The line fell silent for a moment. “ _Wait like…in your house?_ ”

“No, no…she…tried to contact me from Air Temple Island.”

_“What do you mean, tried?_ ” He said accusingly and Asami rolled her eyes.

“What do you think I mean? I didn’t answer it! Are you crazy?”

Mako chuckled. “ _Asami you are an adult, you’re a mother. You cannot hide from the pretty girl you like._ ”

“Okay,” Asami rolled her eyes. “Don’t make it sound childish. I have very good reasons for not wanting our first conversation in a year to be over a radio and you damn well know it.”

His laughter continued. “ _Alright so what do you want me to do?_ ”

Taking a deep breath to steel her confidence, Asami decided it was best to tear the bandage clean off and get it over with. “Can you get ahold of her and set up a lunch for us, as a group? I—I need to see her and I’m sure you want to too.”

“ _I do, I’ll have to shake Wu but I can probably find a few free hours_.”

“Good,” Asami nodded as her nerve started fraying. “And uh…m—make sure you get a booster seat.”

She glanced over at the crib and hoped she was making the right decision. “ _You sure?_ ” Mako said as if he knew what she was thinking.

“Yes,” Asami confirmed as she nodded to herself. “Suki needs to know both her parents.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people thought the reunion was coming in this one. Next one though for sure. Thoughts on how it'll go?


	4. Reunion - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all plans are foolproof. Or in this case, childproof.

“You know something, little man? You were the first person in Republic City to ever hear me sing.”

Rohan was barely paying attention to her as he continued to blow a leaf through the air across the training area only to race to where it fell and blow it in the other direction.

Korra sat on the ground and leaned against one of the many statues scattered around. She watched him with a smile and felt guilty because he hadn’t really remembered who she was or know anything about her. Which was understandable since he was so little when she left. Now he was walking on his own, bending but only just a little and jabbering to himself the entire time.

Korra laughed when he stumbled on his robes as the leaf fluttered closely to her feet. She picked up her hand and lifted the leaf into the air, suspended in front of him and put it just high enough to make him look at her.

“Ko-ra,” he said matter-of-factly and crossed his arms. “That’s my leaf.”

She grinned. “Is it now?” He nodded once. “You picked up my name pretty quick little guy.”

“You have a funny name. Ko-ra, Ko-ra, Ko-ra.” He reached for the leaf and Korra pulled it away from him and a little closer to herself. A pout fell across his face as he stepped in to grab it only for Korra to slowly pull back again. Just as he was about to get upset, she reached out and grabbed him under the arms. He let out a boisterous squeal and Korra sat him on her lap to tickle his sides. The delighted giggles he let out warmed her heart. There were so many times she never imagined being here again. At times she gave up the idea of being able to see Rohan grow up, or any of them.

Actually being back now had kept her up crying well into the previous night.

Now though, she was enjoying the amused company of the four year old airbender in her arms.

“So you don’t remember me singing to you at all?” She asked with her eyebrows raised.

His laughter settled down and he looked up at her with bright eyes. “You’re too strong to sing. It don’t make ‘cents.”

“Oh,” Korra said before picking him up and sitting him properly in her lap. “Is that right? Well would you like for me to sing to you right now?”

“What if I sing?” He then took a deep breath and began to scream two different tones in some sort of pattern that nearly destroyed Korra’s eardrums.

“Okay!” She covered his mouth and felt him giggle against her palm. “Is it my turn now?” He shook his head and Korra rolled her eyes. “I think so.” She hoisted him up and stuck him between her legs to hold him still. “I’m going to sing you a song I learned from one of my _best_ friends, okay?” She removed her hand from his mouth and he seemed interested enough now for her to sing to him again. Korra wasn’t sure why she wanted to do this so much. But one of her favorite memories was the times she watched him after defeating Amon and how special that felt to hold him and sing to him when nobody else was around. Rohan had always held a place in her heart because after Amon he was the first person who made her feel safe again. Like the world wasn’t only out there to try and destroy her. That this little boy, and the rest of her growing family, who would still love her no matter what came her way.

Clearing her throat a little, Korra took a deep breath and ran a hand over Rohan’s wild hair.

“ _Ohhhhhhhh, don't let the cave-in get you down._

_Don't let the falling rocks turn your smile into a frownnnnnnnn._

_When the tunnels are darkest that's when you need a clownnnnnnn, hey!_

_Don't let the cave-in get you down, Sokkaaaaaaaa!”_

Korra finished with a flair, threw her head back and started laughing along with Rohan. He bounced in her arms, repeating Sokka’s name in a sing-song voice.

“See?! I told you I could sing!” She lifted him up and kissed him on the nose.

Rohan wiped at his face furiously. “You sing better than Smami.”

_Oh?_

Narrowing her eyes, Korra held Rohan at eye level. “You mean Asami?”

He pouted. “That’s what I said.”

“Okay,” Korra sighed. “What do you know about Asami?”

“She tries to sing to her baby but it don’t sound as good as you.”

For a moment, Korra wondered if she was dreaming. To hear something so crazy and out of nowhere, from the mouth of a small child, had to be a dream. She shook her head and set his feet back on the ground. The longer she waited to wake up, the more she realized he had actually said it.

“Wh—what do you mean? What baby? You mean…do you…what?”

_You’re not going to be able to grill a four year old, Korra._

He frowned at her. “I mean Suki, she sings to Suki always but it’s not as good.”

“S—Suki?” Rohan seemed to be getting frustrated with her questions as he pulled away from her arms and started playing with his leaf again.

Korra had a million questions that she needed answers to immediately but she couldn’t find the ability to move. She watched Rohan push the leaf across the grounds, the name Suki and the word “baby” burning a hole in her brain. It had to have been a story, some strange fantasy that Rohan had in his head. There was no way Asami had—

Suddenly Korra was on her feet and she scooped Rohan up in her arms to find Pema and Tenzin. She ignored his protests and carried him across the island in search of answers.

"Tenzin!" Korra shouted before she even knew if he was in the first room she burst through. By this time Rohan was laughing and enjoying the sprint across the grounds as Korra frantically sought out an adult. “Tenzin! Where are you?” She stomped through the kitchen and felt Rohan pulling at her hair and clutching onto her vest. “I swear, there were days where I had to make air bubbles around myself in the water under the island to get away from your dad and now he’s suddenly a ghost!”

“Ghost daddy! Ghost daddy!”

She stopped just outside the kitchen and groaned. “ _Tenzin!_ ” she bellowed as loudly as she could and listened for any response.

“Can I help you?”

“Ah!” Korra jumped and would have dropped Rohan to the ground if his arms were around her neck. “Tenzin!”

He frowned. “You can stop screaming my name now, Korra. I am standing right here. And why are you hauling my son around?” She suddenly remembered her reason for distress and was now face to face with a truth she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Korra held out Rohan to Tenzin who hesitantly grabbed his son and stared at her curiously. “Korra, are you alright?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No, I’m not alright. What…” Korra took a step back and crossed her arms. “Who’s Suki?”

Tenzin’s eyes went wide and his face paled. He quickly recovered but seeing his reaction only confirmed the ache in the pit of her stomach. Asami had a child.

Asami…had a child.

_How? Who? Did she meet someone else? Did she have sex with someone else? Have a baby with them?_

“What?” Korra’s voice betrayed her as the question came out in a broken whisper and her legs started to shake. She backpedaled and heard Tenzin tell Rohan to go find his mom and soon enough a pair of hands were on her shoulders guiding her to sit down on the floor.

She buried her head in her hands and swore she could feel her heart breaking in her chest. It was the worst feeling in the world. As if every hope and dream she’d had of her future coming back here suddenly meant nothing. She had told herself repeatedly that she was okay with Asami moving on. That she would understand if Asami didn’t love her anymore.

Right now though, it was suffocating. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart was racing and her stomach was in knots, she was suddenly dizzy and felt detached from the world around her.

“Korra,” Tenzin’s voice was barely audible through the fog of thoughts in her head. “Korra, you need to breathe.” She felt his hand rub across her back and then his arm went around her shoulder. “Count with me, Korra. Remember your breathing exercises. One…two…three. Breathe. One…two…three. Breathe.”

_One_  

_Two_

_Three_

_Breathe..._

Korra repeated the process a few times and tried to push all the unanswered questions out of her mind. But one remained prevalent and she couldn’t remove it. 

“How did this happen?” She asked as the room settled and Korra turned her head slightly to focus on him. Her hands were still shaking and her heart was still racing but she forced herself to speak, to listen and to understand.

With a long exhale, Tenzin removed his hand from around her shoulder and used it to stroke through his beard. “I…I believe she had sexual—“

“Tenzin!” Korra barked and he rolled his eyes.

“Korra, I am trying to answer your question.”

She felt a sob pressing into the back of her throat. “I shouldn’t have left, oh spirits Tenzin what did I _do_?” She whimpered softly and couldn’t stop thinking about how scared and alone Asami must have felt.

“You did what you needed to do, Korra. You did not know that you had gotten Asami pregnant.”

It suddenly felt like a blast of cold water had struck her in the face. “ _I_ got her pregnant? _W—what_? How? I can’t…Tenzin…I don’t… _what_?”

He pursed his lips and she saw his eye twitch. “Korra, I am not in the business of discussing your romantic life, but I do believe Asami mentioned something about the Spirit Oasis?”

“The trip _you_ told us to take!”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you blaming this on me?”

Korra threw her head back in frustration. “No! Of course not but it was _your_ idea and now I—I…Tenzin I have a baby?” The sentence softened with each word. She had no idea how to react, how she was supposed to react. “I’m a mother?” Tears pooled in her eyes and the first time she blinked they slipped away and cascaded down her cheeks. Korra covered her mouth and tried to fight them off. “Suki,” she said and the name felt so strange on her lips now. She’d heard of Suki before, Sokka’s wife who she never had the chance to meet but had heard so many stories about. Turning to look at Tenzin again, Korra swallowed the lump in her throat. “Suki?”

“Tsukiko actually. I believe she and your mother came up with the name and Suki is just the shorthand we all use.” He frowned suddenly. “Asami is the one who should be speaking to you about all of this. I promised her we would let her tell you. I never imagined Rohan would say anything.”

Wiping at her eyes, Korra took a deep breath to continue calming herself down and tried to control the questions swirling in her mind. “Was it…the spirit water? The moon spirit? I—I didn’t think being the Avatar would mean… _baby_ , you know? It never crossed my mind.”

He shrugged. “There were certainly a lot of factors that could have played into it. You were in a very unique place emotionally. You were—according to Asami, trying desperately to reach your inner spirit, which could have drawn upon energies you never knew you had. The moon spirit could have played a part. Life has been given and taken at the Spirit Oasis before. I do believe it was a whirlwind of circumstance that…created your daughter.”

Korra found herself laughing a bit hysterically. “My _daughter_?” She grabbed onto her hair and laid on her back. “My—Tenzin, I have a daughter?”

“You do, Korra. You also have lunch with Asami and Mako in thirty minutes,” Her nerves returned full force.

“Oh no, I totally forgot!”

Tenzin patted her back gently. “I’m fairly certain Asami was planning to introduce you to Suki today. At least you have a head start now.”

“What?” She gasped. “She was—introduce—what?” Korra rose to her feet and couldn’t keep still. She started pacing around the kitchen and tried to decipher a few of the chaotic thoughts in her mind. “Should I…get her something? Like a toy or something I mean I can’t just go—hey Suki, I’m the lady who abandoned you, have a stuffed lemur-monkey!”

“Korra, you did not abandon your child. You simply didn’t know Asami was carrying her.”

She stopped and glared at him. “Because I _left_! Like a coward I ran away and now look at me. I’m a mother and I had no idea!” She groaned in frustration and squeezed her hands into fists. Wanting to punch something but knowing she couldn’t in Pema’s kitchen. “I missed all of it. I missed Asami giving birth, I missed—how old is she? What does she look like? Is she talking yet? No it’s too soon for that. Is she crawling?”

Tenzin stood up and strode to her quickly. He placed his hands on her shoulders and smiled. “You need to relax Korra. You do not need to bring her any gifts. You simply need to meet her today. She is three months old and is not speaking or crawling yet.” He held her steady and she glanced up at him with a pout. “The rest, you must learn when you meet her.”

“Suki,” Korra said her name again and it suddenly felt like the most important word she’d ever spoke. Something between blissful excitement and devastating fear battled for emotional supremacy within her. She was going to be face to face with the woman she loved, the woman she ran away from and the daughter she never knew she had.

\---------------

Asami peeked down at the baby seat on the floor and smiled at Suki who was still fast asleep before returning to the magazine she was holding. At least, if Suki was good, this lunch wouldn’t be a complete disaster. Mako was already inside and had a table ready but Asami wanted to wait for Korra outside and be as far away from Prince Wu as possible. Mako had sworn he was going to get rid of him before Korra showed up so she took him by his word, but for now, the further away she was the less likely she was to ram her overpriced boot up his ass.

The words were all jumbled on the page of the magazine and Asami couldn’t focus on them. She couldn’t really focus on anything but the nagging fear in her mind. Today was a day she’d thought about the entirety of the last year. Seeing Korra again and how she might react. Now, Korra’s arrival was imminent and she _still_ didn’t know how she was going to react.

“I—I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the familiar sound of Korra’s voice. Asami closed her magazine and turned to see Korra standing nervously at the entrance.

She looked…amazing. She stood so steadily and her hair was so short. Asami couldn’t keep herself from admiring how wonderful it looked. The old blue vest was worn proudly along with her fur pelt and armbands. She looked…like the Avatar. Like the Korra that Asami had met years ago and seen grow into a beautiful and powerful woman.

For a moment, the past was forgotten and Asami nearly jumped out of her chair and hugged Korra because she had missed her so much.

However, that faded immediately when Korra’s eyes shifted to the baby seat and filled with worry.

_She knows_.

“Korra—” Asami tried but was cut off.

“Is that her?”

Asami stood up and lifted the carrier by the handle. She took a step to Korra who quickly put her hands behind her back and went wide eyed. “How do you know? Did Tenzin tell you?

“I—“ Korra was looking anywhere but _at_ Suki. “Rohan, he...didn’t…”

“Hey,” Asami said finally and put on a smile. “It’s okay, you can look at her, Korra.”

Taking a deep breath, Korra closed her eyes and nodded slowly.

When she finally opened them again, Asami saw her blue eyes glisten as Korra looked at her daughter for the first time. The awed expression on her face and the way her lips turned upward to a natural smile was the most beautiful thing Asami had ever seen. It gave her a very unexpected rush of relief, to see Korra fall in love so fast. The way _she_ had when Suki first came into the world. Korra’s hands were at her mouth and she slid down to a knee to be face to face with the sleeping little girl.

“Asami,” Korra breathed. “She’s… _beautiful_.”

Asami laughed. “She is. She’ll be happy to see you.”

Korra tore her eyes away and looked up at Asami. Something in her eyes brought the reality of it all back and Asami’s own delirious smile faded.

“I’m…sorry I wasn’t here.” Korra said before lowering her gaze again.

“It’s okay,” Asami said and knew that it really was. She never blamed Korra for not being there. “If you had known…you’d have been there.”

“If—“ Korra chewed on her bottom lip and swallowed thickly. “If I’d never _left_ I’d have been there.”

“Well…I won’t argue that.”

A look of hurt crossed Korra’s expression and Asami could only shrug and commit to what she’d said. Of course she understood _why_ Korra left and what she was searching for, but that didn’t mean she had to pretend everything was okay.

When Korra stood up again Asami could see all her nerves come back. She still stared at Suki with nothing but adoration and newfound love, but she was tense and kept her hands tucked at her sides. “She’s so small.”

Asami chuckled. “Well she eats like you so she probably won’t be for very long.”

“I’ll have to show her how to train so—“ Korra clamped her mouth shut and looked down at her feet. “I mean…you’ll have to tell her how to—I don’t…know what you want from me. What you want me to do?”

“What do you want to do?” Asami asked simply enough and Korra refocused on Suki.

“I never…imagined being a mom, I mean I thought about having kids _someday_ but not like this, not…this suddenly. It’s really scary.” Asami raised a brow and Korra nodded with a laugh. “I know, I know. You know that better than I do.” Korra took a deep breath and her eyes seemed to clear up. She looked at Asami and smiled as best she could. “I want to be in her life. I want to…do whatever I can to know her and help you with her. I want to…get back in your life too.”

_There it was._

Asami looked away for a moment, searching for the right words and preparing for the hurt look she knew was coming. “Korra,” she kept her voice gentle but firm. “I am…so happy you want to be in Suki’s life. I will grant you full access to being her mother, because you are and you deserve to be as much a part of her life as I am.”

“But?” Korra said with a frown.

“But…I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’m not ready to be with anyone and…I don’t think I will be for a really long time. If ever again.”

“Oh,” Korra nodded and her eyes seemed to lose focus for a moment. She stared off beyond Asami at the wall and reached up to run a hand through her hair.

Asami wanted to mention how much she liked the new cut, but it didn’t seem appropriate. “Come on,” Asami hoisted Suki’s carrier up and walked by Korra. “Mako’s got us a table at the restaurant.”

She led the way with Korra in tow and noticed how distant Korra seemed. However, as they stepped into the restaurant and spotted Mako, she seemed to pick up her step a little.

“Korra!” He called as he pushed off the railing he was leaning against.

“Hi Mako,” Korra said as she closed the distance between them and fell into his embrace.

Asami smiled at how happy Mako seemed to be and how easily Korra relaxed when she saw him. She wished her reunion with Korra had been that way. Easy, happy, like seeing a lost friend after years of waiting and building them up in your mind. Only for it to surpass every expectation you might have had. 

As they broke apart, Asami groaned when she saw Wu slide up between them.

“Hello there,” he was completely in Korra’s personal space and Asami felt her eyes narrow. “Prince Wu, rightful heir to the throne and _this guy’s_ boss.” He nudged Mako with his elbow and grinned at Korra. If at all possible, he moved even _cloesr_ into Korra. “I bet he’s told you a lot about me.”

“Nope,” Korra returned quickly. “Not a thing.”

Wu then reached around and put his arm on Korra’s shoulder and Asami felt her hand ball into a fist.

“Then we have _so_ much to talk about.” He guided Korra to sit down beside him and Asami could _see_ how uncomfortable she was. If her time after the Red Lotus had taught Asami anything, it was that Korra _did not_ like to be touched unless she trusted that person or was fighting them.

_It’s not your place to defend her anymore and that was your choice._

Resigning herself to the truth, Asami sat down next to Mako and put Suki’s carrier in the booster seat next to them.

“So how did it go?” Mako whispered as Wu pressed in next to Korra and started talking about cucumber aloe water. Asami wanted to throw him out the nearest window.

Asami glared at him. “I thought you said it was just going to be the three of us!”

Mako frowned. “I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t ditch him. He promised to be on his best behavior.”

“Hey! Pop into the Avatar state for me! I want to see your eyes _glow_!”

“What? No!” Korra said with a disgusted look and Asami wondered if it would be appropriate to kick him under the table. When he deflated at her rejection of showing off the thing that nearly killed her, Asami took her chance.

“So…can you go into the Avatar state again? I—I know that’s…what you were trying to do before—“

Korra smiled tightly and nodded. “Yeah, I—I still had some poison in me all that time and…I got it out. Managed to find the Avatar state again but…my body is still catching up.”

“It took you that long to go into the Avatar state?” Mako said with a bit of a pout. “I—I asked about that more than once in my letters and you…” he sighed. “You never wrote me anything. Or Bolin, why?”

Asami could see the guilt in Korra’s eyes. She knew how hard it was for Korra to accept her weaknesses and how far she’d fallen, to talk about it to people who knew her as the powerful Avatar would have only made it worse.

“I—I don’t know.” Korra looked down at the table shamefully. “I guess I…didn’t know what to say.”

Mako crossed his arms and sat back against the bench. “A hello would have been nice.”

“Mako,” Wu started with a wild hand gesture. “If it makes you feel any better she didn’t write me either.”

“Why would she—“ Mako sighed. “Never mind.” He turned away from them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch, but I’m back now! And I want to know…everything about what’s been going on,” she turned her glance hopefully to Asami who couldn’t help but smile at the hopefulness in Korra’s eyes. “With both of you, with…” she stared at Suki again and her smile grew. “Everything.”

Asami nodded and knew it was only right to try and at least be civil with the woman she shared a baby with. “Well, I kind of have some big news.” However saying the words out loud seemed harder than she thought and Asami had to look away from Korra to get them out. “I went to visit my father for the first time. He kept writing me letters and…I guess I finally felt ready to try and forgive him.”

“What?” Korra said so loudly she made everyone at the table jump, including herself. “I—I mean, I’m sorry but…are you sure that’s a good idea? You didn’t show him Suki did you? He’s an Equalist Asami, it’s not safe.”

The sureness with which Korra spoke made Asami’s blood boil. She slammed her fist on the table. “I _know_ what he is, Korra! I’m the one who he tried to kill, remember?” Korra pulled back and looked clearly shocked.

“No,” Korra put her hands up defensively. “No I didn’t mean—“

“You don’t get to run away while I go through a pregnancy and give birth to _our_ child and then come back and pretend you know what’s best for me, or her!”

“It’s not like I ran away _because_ you were pregnant, Asami! I had to go, If I knew...you know I wouldn’t have left. You said so yourself.”

Suddenly, Wu slammed his glass on the table and both of them turned to look at him. “As much as I’m enjoying this little catch up, my royal bladder is about _explode_.” Wu snapped his fingers. “Mako, come on. I need you to stand guard.”

Asami raised an eyebrow and couldn’t keep herself from smirking at Mako. “I’m not gonna hold your hand every time you have to empty your _royal bladder._ Go to the bathroom on your own for once!”

“ _For once_?” Korra whispered at Asami who covered her mouth and shrugged.

“Fine,” Wu said with a mope before skulking away.

The way Korra was staring at Mako, Asami knew the question that was on her mind and silently hoped she would ask it, just to see Mako squirm.

“Do you…always go to the bathroom with him?” Korra asked and Asami was somehow reminded of _why_ she fell in love with Korra in the first place.

Mako huffed. “I don’t go _with_ him, with him! I just stand there in the general vicinity while he—“ he crossed his arms and sat back again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Before another word could be spoken, there was a soft cooing sound that came from Asami’s side and she turned to see that Suki was starting to stir and kicking gently in her baby seat.

“Oh, hey you,” Asami smiled as she unbuckled Suki from her seat and lifted her up. “Oh yes, I know we’re not at home but we had to get some food and…” Asami shifted a bit and turned to Korra who looked like she might burst with excitement and anxiety. “Suki, I want you to meet…oh,” before Asami could finish, Suki had her arms extended out towards Korra who suddenly had tears in her eyes again.

She looked at Asami for a moment and Asami gave her a nod before holding out their baby between them. Korra reached over and tentatively took Suki into her arms and held her.

“Hi,” Korra whispered as tear streaked down her cheek and she sniffled. “Hi Suki, I—I’m Korra and…wow. You’re so gorgeous.” She was breathless and speechless and Asami found comfort in the love Korra was showing already. “She has your eyes,” Korra said as she peeked around Suki and smiled at Asami who felt her face heat up slightly.

“She does, they were my mother’s first actually.”

The smile Korra gave her sunk into Asami’s chest and warmed her heart.

Korra held Suki for a while, not really saying anything, just holding her and admiring her. When the food arrived, Asami realized it had been a while since Wu went to the bathroom and when she looked at Mako he seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“I wonder what’s taking so long. He’s not one to miss out on lunch. I’ll go check on him.’

When Mako stood up and went to the bathroom, Asami glanced at Korra and they both clearly had an idea of where this was going. They’d spent too much time fighting for their lives to think anything else.

“Here,” Korra reluctantly handed Suki back to Asami and stared longingly at the little girl. “We should go help Mako.”

Asami nodded and together they left the booth to wait outside the bathroom. Just as Korra was about to knock on the bathroom door, she spotted a cart being pushed outside and headed in that direction. Asami was certain it was to ask if they’d seen Wu at all and so she waited for Mako.

Glancing down at Suki, she smiled. Even if things between her and Korra were as messy as ever, she was glad that Korra seemed so ready to accept Suki into her life. More so that Suki had reached out _for_ Korra. As if she knew that was someone she wanted to be around, someone she wanted to hold her.

A sudden rumble of earth drew Asami’s attention and Mako burst out of the bathroom and they ran in the direction of the noise.

Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw Korra on the ground, groaning and holding her back as she tried to stand.

“They’ve got Wu!” She cried and Asami saw a truck driving away. “Get the car! I’m going after them!” With that, Korra was sprinting behind the truck and Asami turned to Mako.

“Let’s go!”

“Wait!” Asami grabbed his arm. “Take Suki and get her back to Air Temple Island.”

Mako’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Are you crazy? I’m Wu’s bodyguard! I have to—“

“Mako, I am not taking Suki on a car chase, but you need _me_ driving the car if you want to catch him. I know these streets, I _built_ these streets. I know how to make sure they don’t get away. The longer we argue the harder it’s going to be. Korra and I will handle this. Take Suki and keep her safe.” He didn’t argue but he still seemed hesitant. “Trust me, okay? We’ll get him back.”

With that, he reached out and took Suki’s baby seat and said nothing as Asami sprinted to her car to go help Korra. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korrasami kicking butt next chapter. Thoughts on this one?


	5. Reunion - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra and Asami work together to rescue Prince Wu.

Korra sprinted across the pavement in pursuit of the speeding truck. On foot she knew she would never catch it, so she jumped into the air and pulled her hands back to strike. As she landed, she pressed forward and pulled the earth up from underneath the concrete and created a fault in the ground that rolled forward and underneath the escaping vehicle.

The truck bounced up in the air but managed to land on its wheels and continue going. Korra growled in frustration just as a set of screeching tires sounded next to her.

“Get in!” It was Asami and Korra couldn’t help but search for Mako and Suki. She jumped into the passenger seat and Asami hit the gas.

“Where’s Suki?”

Asami shifted a gear and the car jerked forward. “I left her with Mako! It’s just us!” They swerved in and out of traffic and Korra couldn’t help but focus on was the distance in the seats between the two of them. If Asami wrecked, which was unlikely, she wanted to be able to grab her and protect her.

Once they finally made it through the bulk of traffic, they were right behind the truck when it turned suddenly into an alley. Asami was ready and went to follow, but suddenly a rock wall closed the opening between two of the buildings and Asami swerved just enough to settle the Satomobile back on the road. The car only hopped the sidewalk for a brief moment.

“We’re losing them!” Korra shouted as she tried to see any turn that might get them closer. There was a turn coming up and Korra was ready for it, it made sense to turn right since they’d turned that same direction before. At least then they would stay in the same direction. However, Asami kept going beyond the turn and Korra looked at her. “Shouldn’t we have turned? Are you—“

“Settle down, Korra.” Asami said as she gripped the wheel tighter. “I know these streets better than you. I built some of them.” That was all Korra needed to hear, she nodded and continued searching for the truck.

They went up an overpass and Korra winced when Asami made a particularly tricky move to dodge out of the way of a slow moving car. Korra couldn’t help but look over at her in amazement at how easily she could do this.

“There!” Asami pointed and Korra looked to see that below the overpass was the same white truck they’d been searching for.

_How in the world did she do that?_

Korra had to move fast so she stood up and planted her foot on top of the door, ready to jump.

“Be careful,” Asami said simply enough and Korra nodded, a wave of appreciation settling over her. There was no doubt in Asami’s eyes, she believed Korra could do this.

Swirling her arms around, Korra pulled at the air around her and used it to propel herself as she leapt from the car and gently glided down. She landed on top of the truck with a thud and pushed her hands forward to feel the metal beneath her. In one quick motion, she ripped the roof in two and the driver looked up at her with a menacing glare.

“Where is he?” She asked but the man said nothing. Korra dropped into the truck and airbent the driver out of his seat and took his spot. She quickly stepped on the brake and grabbed the wheel for support. The car managed to screech to a halt just before smashing into a giant spirit vine.

Korra looked over her shoulder as the man glared at her from the back of the truck. She pushed herself out of the seat and headed in his direction.  He swung at her a moment later and she grabbed his fist with an open hand and squeezed. He let out a cry when she twisted his arm downward and grabbed onto his collar, dragging him out the driver door just as Asami pulled up next to her.

“The prince?” Asami asked as she stepped out of her car.

“Not here, this guy was the only one in the truck.” She slammed him into the vehicle and glowered at him. “Where’s the prince?”

He smirked, despite having a bit of air knocked out of him by the force Korra drove him into the truck with. “Halfway to Kuvira by now.” Korra pulled him forward and slammed him back again. Somehow, this only made him smile more. “All hail the Great Uniter.” He spoke so menacingly that Korra thought for a moment about punching him in the mouth. However, a police siren sounded and she looked back to see a cop car parking next to Asami’s.

“Mako must have called it in.” Asami said and Korra grabbed the driver by the back of his neck and hauled him towards the police car. “That brief moment we lost them must have been enough time to move Wu to another vehicle.”

Korra handed the man to the officer who threw him into the back of the police car. She stepped to the front before the car drove off and spoke to the cop. “Tell Chief Beifong that Prince Wu is missing. Put out a…the thing? What is it?” She glanced at Asami for help.

“All points bulletin?”

“Yes!” Korra shouted and Asami rolled her eyes with a light smile. “All points bulletin. We’ll keep looking.”

The officer gave a nod before starting his Satomobile and driving away. Korra sighed and suddenly felt the way her arms and legs were tingling. The past few days had given Korra more action than she’d seen in years and her biggest priority now was handling the condition her mind would be in when the adrenaline wore off.

“Where do we start? There are thousands of cars in the city and he could be in any one of them.” Asami said but Korra was barely listening. She was right, finding Wu with normal methods would never work. At least not fast enough to _actually_ save him.

She needed to _be_ the Avatar. To do things that she was supposed to do to help people. Use the powers that she was born with. Walking over to the spirit vine, she remembered Toph’s words about how everything was connected. Every plant, every animal, every bit of life in this world was all connected.

Korra took a deep breath and channeled all of her energy into finding the prince. She placed her hand down on the vine and felt it heat up under her touch. The gasp Asami let out told her it was working and she could suddenly feel her spirit reaching out, hunting.

She was suddenly right behind another vehicle, just outside of the train station. When her vision moved her inside the car, she saw Wu passed out in the back.

Her hand jerked away from the vine and she turned to see Asami with wide, curious eyes.

“They’re…they’re taking Wu to the train station.” She said as the weight of Asami’s gaze settled over her.

“Are you sure? How do you—what was that?”

Korra smiled a bit as she rushed past Asami and jumped into the car. “I’ll explain on the way, just drive!” They had to find Wu. The balance of the Earth Kingdom, of the world, would be destroyed if anything happened to him. “We’re running out of time.”

Asami didn’t argue as she climbed into the driver’s seat and sped off.

As they continued down the road, Korra could feel the adrenaline wearing off and she needed to keep herself steady because they weren’t done with this yet. She took a deep breath, trusting in Asami to drive them safely and pressed her fist into her palm and began regulating her breathing.

“You okay?” Asami asked and Korra nodded as she closed her eyes. She continued to inhale and exhale in a particular rhythm. A calm came over her as she forced the doubt and negativity away. She’d fought well, she knew where Wu was, Asami would get them there. They were going to be okay. This would all turn out okay and they could continue the fight.

Opening her eyes, Korra saw that they were approaching the train station. “Wow,” Asami said and Korra finally looked at her.

“What?”

She smiled. “You’re just—I’m really glad to see you relax yourself like that. You’ve come a long way.”

Korra blushed a bit and shrugged. “Despite what you may have read in the papers. I wasn’t exactly vacationing the year I was gone.”

“Oh, you weren’t living it up at Ember Island?” Asami teased and Korra could only laugh. “Seriously though, how did you know where Wu was just by touching some spirit vines?”

“I learned how to connect to people’s energy through them.”

Asami seemed impressed. “Who taught you that?”

“Lin’s mom.” She couldn’t stop herself from grinning at the awed expression on Asami’s face. “I found her in the swamp. That place is like one giant spirit wild.”

“You met Toph? What was she like?”

Korra pondered it for a second. “A…cranky, more miserable version of Lin.”

“Is…that even _possible_?”

She smiled brighter. “You’d be surprised.”

They were suddenly in front of the train station and Asami parked the car in front of the steps. Korra watched her reach into the glove box and pull out her glove. It looked different. It was smaller and sleeker.

“Did you…remake that thing?”

Asami quirked a brow. “Got bored one day and the other one was too bulky. Though I wouldn’t advise using a soldering iron when you’re eight months pregnant.”

The way she spoke and the look on her face somehow made Korra hurt. Asami didn’t want to be with her, Korra respected that. But did she have to be so ridiculously sexy and amazing all the time?

There was no time to dwell because Asami was already taking the steps two at a time and Korra chased after her.

“Didn’t you just have a baby three months ago?” She asked and Asami flipped her hair back to look at her.

_Okay, she did that on purpose._

Instead of an answer, Asami only shrugged and continued running. Korra really needed her to _stop_ being so _attractive_.

Korra felt good knowing they’d tracked Wu down, until they actually entered the train station and saw how many people were there and that there would be more than one train. It had seemed so easy. Touch a spirit vine, find Wu, save the Earth Kingdom’s future leader. Do things that the Avatar was supposed to do.

Now, she didn’t know where he was, she couldn’t find him.

“I don’t know where he is,” Korra whispered as her body started to tense with anxiety.

Asami dropped a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, we’ll split up, search everywhere you can. We’ll find him.”

With a nod, Korra ran in the opposite direction of Asami in search of the prince.

Ten minutes later, Korra had seen no sign of Wu or anyone who might look suspicious of taking him.

When she heard rushed footsteps come up behind her, Korra turned to see Asami shaking her head. “If we don’t find Wu soon we might _never_ find him."

She was right, Korra knew that she had to do something.

_Be the Avatar. What can you do, what have you learned?_

_It’s all connected_.

Closing her eyes, Korra knelt down and planted the palm of her hand on the ground. Then she reached out with her spirit, as she had before with the vines.

She couldn’t _see_ Wu this time, but there was a pull to the train on the right and Korra knew he was in _that_ train. She just knew it.

“He’s on that train.” She stood up and started after it just as it was pulling away. Korra moved as hurriedly as she could and quickly grabbed onto the railing to pull herself aboard.

Turning back, Asami was right behind her and Korra reached out. Asami took her hand and Korra pulled her up. What she didn’t take into account was the force she’d pulled Asami up with and suddenly they were face to face and Korra had a grip on her shoulders.

Asami swallowed thickly and looked into Korra’s eyes. “Thanks.” They were so close Korra could feel Asami’s breath against her skin. It brought back so many memories of their nights spent together.

_Not the time, Korra._

A moment later, Asami stepped past her and pushed open the door of the train car. Korra recomposed herself and followed her in.

“So it’s not just spirit vines then?” Asami asked, glancing back at Korra for a moment.

“I guess not. This wasn’t as precise though. Not like the vines. Just…a feeling.”

Asami stopped and turned to face her. “Korra…if we’re wrong about this—“

“I _know_ ,” she nodded and knew full well if this was the wrong train and something happened to Wu, the battle might already be over. “Trust me, okay?”

“I do,” Asami said. “I trust you. We’ll find the prince and this will all work out.”

Korra smiled again. She was glad that Asami still believed in her. Asami always believed in her.

She followed Asami into a storage car where all the luggage and carry on items were stowed away. Once inside, Korra could hear the faint sound of something clanking.

“What was—“

“Shh,” Asami waved at her. “Listen.”

Following the noise, Korra saw a trunk shaking and quickly knelt down beside it. She bent away the locks and it flew open.

Wu sat up and started flailing wildly, Korra leaned back so she wouldn’t be hit by one of his frantic arms.

“Will you relax! We’re here to rescue you!”

“Wh—what?” He seemed to calm down and looked at Korra. “Where am I? Is this a dream? Are you going to kiss me now?”

Korra cringed.

“She’s not going to _kiss_ you.” Asami barked and Korra stood up and jerked Wu out of the trunk.

That was when the door they came through opened and Korra turned to see two metalbenders at the ready.

Asami was tough as nails, but in an enclosed space she couldn’t fight against metalbenders. 

Letting go of Wu, Korra jumped in front of Asami as a barrage of metal shards came at them. She bent them away, backing up with each step to make sure she stayed in front of Asami (Wu was close enough). Once all the shards were gone, Korra sent a whirlwind of air and knocked them back. She looked behind her to check on Asami only to see the door behind them open with two more benders.

Asami turned around and Korra looked forward to see another man coming for them. She bent the door closed on him and looked up at the roof. In one fluid motion, she tore open the top of the train car and picked Wu up off the floor.

“We have to go.” She said and Asami nodded in agreement.

“I’m not going up there!” Wu cried and Korra felt her eyes narrow and her lip curl. She drew her arms toward him dramatically and airbent him onto the roof, quietly enjoying his squeal of terror.

Korra jumped out after him and immediately turned to help Asami up. Once they were both out of the car, they ran to the next one that wasn’t torn apart and each grabbed one of Wu’s arms to drag him along.

Letting him go, Korra jumped to the next car and turned back where Asami all but threw the prince across into her waiting arms. She discarded him to help Asami, only to see that Asami had already jumped and was moving ahead of her.

_Oh, well alright then._

Korra froze when she saw that the benders had followed them up onto the car in front of them.

It was then that Korra realized Wu wasn’t moving and she picked him up and started dragging his dead weight around. One of the metalbenders was already on her. He threw a cable at Korra and she caught it with her free hand, wrapping it around her wrist and feeling the slightest tremor of fear at the memory of the last time she had metal around her wrist. This same wrist. She shook that thought away, knowing she had to stay focused. For now, she had the cable held tight and the bender controlled.

Suddenly another one came up behind them and she wanted to look back at Asami but couldn’t lose her focus on her own adversaries.

Any concern dissipated a moment later when she heard the zap of Asami’s glove.

The painful creak of metal behind her drew Korra’s attention. They were pulling the floor out from underneath them. She took the cable in her arm and lit a fire in her palm. It torched the cable and the fire streamed at the bender wielding it. He broke the grip and jumped backwards onto the car behind them only to do the same thing to the metal roof that his comrades were doing.

Backing up, Korra bumped into Asami and realized they were being wrapped up in metal and she knew they had to get out of there.

There was only one way out and Korra swirled the air around them and pulled Wu against her before reaching out to wrap an arm around Asami’s waist. When she jumped off the train, she knew the impact would hurt so she swung so her back would take the brunt of it. On the way down, Korra felt Asami bury her face in her shoulder and a strong rush of protectiveness came over her. Her hold on Asami tightened and she braced for the hit.

She tried to slow down with bending and did well enough, but her grip was lost when she hit the ground and the people she was holding went rolling away.

She winced at the impact and the pain in her back but it didn’t last very long and she sat up, immediately searching for Asami to make sure she was okay.

To her relief, Asami was already pushing to her feet and dusting herself off. She looked up to see that the train had continued and there wasn’t a member of Kuvira’s army in sight.

Standing up, Korra twisted her back a bit and tried to work out the ache but she couldn’t because a moment later Wu’s arms were around her neck.

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I want you to be my bodyguard! Where was Mako when I needed him most!”

Korra pushed Wu off and shuddered a bit. “Mako was asked to stay behind to take care of my—“ she sighed. “To take care of Suki and I was just doing my job.”

“I owe you my life, Avatar Korra. How can I ever repay you?” He grabbed her hand and sandwiched it between his own. “Perhaps a night out on the town?”

“Really? You’re asking me out right now?”

He looked at her dumbly. “So…I’ll put you down for a maybe?”

“How bout a never?” Korra said with a derisive look before jerking her hand away and going back to Asami. “Not exactly the magical reunion I pictured in my head.”

Asami laughed softly and nodded. “Suppose we can always count on a fight breaking out to kill an awkward situation. It was a lot like old times just…with a baby.”

“Yeah, that will take some getting used to.”

“Well,” Asami shrugged and held her smile. “There’s bound to be an adjustment period.”

“I’m just…” Korra lost herself in Asami’s eyes and held steady so she didn’t kiss her right there. She knew Asami wouldn’t want that, she’d probably earn a slap or a tongue lashing. It might seem like a grand gesture to kiss the girl after fighting alongside her, but she couldn’t be that person anymore. She _wasn’t_ that person anymore. “I’m really glad to be back.”

Suddenly, Asami closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Korra. Her breath caught in her throat and she tentatively hugged her back.

“Despite everything,” Asami whispered. “I _did_ miss you, Korra.”

For now, that was more than enough to sustain her.

She held Asami tightly, but could hear Wu stepping towards them and she lifted her foot up and slammed it into the ground. A piece of rock popped up under his feet and sent him falling backwards onto his butt.

Nobody was going to ruin this moment for her.

\--------------

“You sure Wu’s going to be safe there?” Korra asked as the ferry docked and Asami dropped a few extra Yuans into the ferry captain’s tip jar and asked if he’d stick around for a while. He readily agreed and Korra realized Asami had probably done this often, reserving a ferry for long stays on the island.

Asami shrugged in Korra’s direction as they stepped onto the dock. “He’ll be fine. The hotel is closer to the station and Mako’s there all the time so it makes it easier on him. Bolin and Mako’s family loved him almost immediately, or Grandma Yin did. She runs that family, so they’ll take care of him. I mean, if you want...” She glanced back at Korra with a smirk. “He could stay here with you. Take you out on that date he promised.”

She could have sworn Korra turned green. “No, please no. He’s so…”

“Icky?”

“Right!” Korra laughed and Asami enjoyed the sound. She had enjoyed it even more when they were living together in the south and it was such a rarity. “He just rubs me the wrong way. Literally sometimes.”

Asami smiled but remembered how Wu had no hesitation invading Korra’s personal space. “You okay with that? I mean…other than him being a sleaze, he was pretty in your face and touching you a lot. I know…you weren’t really a fan of that after your injury. Only with a few people.”

“I’ve gotten better,” she looked at the ground in front her. “I think every day I’ve gotten a little bit better with…something new. I wasn’t a fan of him touching me without permission but I think that had more to do with _him_ being him than me.”

It was nice to see Korra able to just…be herself and be so open about her recovery. For so long Korra had considered herself broken and needing to be fixed. Now Korra seemed more willing to say she was mended, not who she was, but trying to figure out who she was becoming.

Asami was ready to enter the foyer when she realized that Korra had stopped. “What?” She asked as Korra hugged herself and flushed bashfully.

“I just…she’s in there.” Korra said with an eye roll. “It’s stupid but…I’m nervous.”

“It’s not stupid, she’s…she’s your daughter, Korra. Whatever happened with us and…I know it’s messy and we’re not perfect but…I want you in her life, she needs you in her life. Which means that I’m in your life too. We’re not dating—“

“I know,” Korra nodded and offered a tight smile. “I—I won’t press for that. I don’t have any right to and that’s okay. I’m really grateful that you’re so open about…Suki,” She laughed breathlessly. “Suki, it’s just…it’s still so surreal that I have a child.”

Asami grinned and nodded. She was relieved and impressed with how maturely Korra was handling her boundaries. Given her own feelings, Asami was fairly certain that Korra still carried the same kind of torch for her that she did, but this was for the best and Asami was certain of it. She wouldn’t allow her heart to get in the way of her head. Not again, not after so many long nights spent alone and scared of how uncertain her future was for so long after Korra left.

If they could be _friends_ again, and parents together, Asami would consider that a victory.

“We’ll see how in awe you are when I teach you how to change her after she poops all over herself.”

Korra frowned. “Wait really?”

“Oh yeah,” Asami stepped through the door and beckoned Korra to follow her. “You’re going to learn all this mom stuff right along with me.”

By the time they reached the meditation area, Korra and Asami found Pema holding Suki as they watched Jinora and Ikki practice a few airbending moves together. She had to smile at the sight of Naga sitting _right_ next to her.

The practice was nothing intense, mostly just dancing and creating wind, like Asami had seen Korra do with Opal years ago in Zaofu.

Asami always enjoyed watching the airbenders. They were so fluid and precise with their movements. She patterned some of her fighting techniques after them. The way they dodged and evaded was great for someone who didn’t have the strength to fight an earthbender or the aggression to take on a firebender.

“Jinora’s gotten really—“ Asami’s sentence died when she looked back and saw Korra was no longer following her but had frozen in place and was staring at Pema. With a soft laugh, Asami moved to Pema and put an arm on her back. “We’re home.”

“Oh!” Pema smiled. “Good, she’s been missing you. She was not happy about being taken away from her mommy by Mako. Poor guy was trying to calm her down the whole time he was here and didn’t do a lick of good.”

“Mako’s about as comforting as a combustionbender.” Asami teased and reached out to take Suki into her arms. “Hey you. Did you give Mako fits? Huh? That’s okay, he used to give me fits too so this is like the cutest kind of karma.” She held Suki close and stroked her fingers through the back of Suki’s tuft of hair. It was one of her favorite things to do. To gently play through the constantly growing locks of her daughter.

When Asami met Korra’s eyes, she could see the almighty Avatar was nervously shaking again and Asami smiled. She tested Suki’s diaper and knew immediately that the teaching would start right now.

“You’ve been saving this one haven’t you Pema?” Asami called over her shoulder as she drew closer to Korra.

Pema chuckled. “It just happened a few minutes ago but I’ve handled one already and thought it might be a good teaching opportunity.”

“You’re right about that.” Asami gave Korra a mischievous look and pulled Suki away from herself. “Korra, would you like to change your daughter’s diaper?”

Korra’s eyes were wide as saucers, but filled with so much awe and wonder that it almost left Asami breathless. 

Cautiously, Korra took Suki into her arms and held her. When Naga started to whimper at Korra’s feet, Asami saw that she had her hands under Suki’s armpits and wasn’t supporting her properly.

“What?”

“You’ve got to support her neck, Korra. Cradle her. She’s still kind of small.”

“Oh!” Korra seemed to falter at the idea that she was doing something wrong. “I’m _so_ sorry! I didn’t know.”

Asami grabbed Korra’s forearm and put it in the proper position before gently laying Suki down in her arm, supported by Korra’s strong bicep.

_Stop it, Asami._

“Don’t apologize, you’re new at this. Just…don’t be so tentative. I know you’re big and strong but you’re one of the gentlest people I know.”

Korra nodded but seemed clearly uncertain. “I hope so. I don’t think…I don’t have the parenting instincts you have.”

“Instincts?” Asami snorted. “Oh Korra I’ve been learning something new every day. Think of it like…bending.”

She watched Korra’s eyebrow go up. “Babybending?”

“I _knew_ you were going to say that, you dork.”

They both shared a laugh and Korra refocused on Suki and that beautiful little smile returned to Korra’s face. However, a moment later she took in a breath and her nose scrunched up. “Oh…wow.”

Asami covered her mouth to hide a snicker. “Come on, we should change her. I can show you how it’s done.” Naga took off towards the house, leading the way.

“Wait,” Asami was already walking and Korra chased after her. “I—I’m not going to get poop on me, am I?” Asami shrugged. “It is a yes or no question, Asami!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't fight that chemistry. What do you think of the new dynamic between them?


	6. Starting from Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami continues to try and regain something she lost and Korra focuses on her future

“Asami?” Korra called out as she hesitantly peeked over her shoulder to see Asami digging through a small basket of clothes.

“Hmm?”

She refocused on Suki who was grinning up at her and kicking her legs. “Why is it green?”

Asami’s snorting laugh filled the small bedroom and Korra groaned while pulling away the stained diaper. It was thick with baby poop and Korra held it with only two fingers, trying desperately not to touch anything unpleasant.

She dropped it in the designated place Asami had told her to put it and looked back at Suki from their newly created distance.

“You can’t change her from there.” Asami said with a playful smirk.

Korra sighed and gave a nod before scratching the back of her neck. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Well,” Asami pointed to Suki’s bottom. “You see that stuff all over her butt and legs?” Korra nodded with a grimace. “You should probably get that off of her before we put a fresh diaper on.”

“Right,” Korra picked up the damp cloth on the table and stepped back into the fray. “You know; I think Amon was less scary than this.” Asami laughed and continued to dig through the basket of Pema’s children’s old clothes.

“You’re doing fine, it’s just a little poop, Korra.”

She looked back indignantly at Asami but she wasn’t paying attention. “Just a little poop. Are you seriously telling me that the first time you did this was super easy and didn’t gross you out even a little?”

“I mean I wasn’t a _fan_ of it, but I had to do it and I had two moms standing guard with me so I had to at least look competent.”

As Korra took a deep breath and resisted the gag in her throat, she went to work on cleaning the mess. But her mind fixated on something Asami said and she couldn’t let it go. She thought it would be better to let the subject go, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Two moms?” Asami stopped what she was doing and Korra glanced back at the silence and noted the telling look on her face. “My mom?” She nodded. “Oh…I didn’t…I didn’t know she followed you here.”

“Yep,” Asami strode to her with a piece of clothing in her hand. Though her mind seemed to be wandering as she leaned against the wall while Korra returned to the squirming baby in front of her. “Both of your parents were with me through a lot of it. Your mom came up here with me when I moved back to the city and your dad was here when Suki was born.”

Korra’s hand stilled as images of everything she missed on that day flooded her mind. She swallowed the thick lump in the back of her throat and started methodically cleaning Suki again, her heart heavy in her chest.

“I—I’m glad they were here for you.” She tried to smile but it faltered and she knew Asami noticed.

For a moment Korra was ready for Asami to say something to make her feel better. It was such familiar territory to her, to have something knock her down and Asami pick her back up. However, all Asami did this time was hand her the piece of clothing and offer a quick agreement at how much she appreciated her parents being there. There was no comfort given and Korra assumed she didn’t really deserve it.

She stared at the outfit for a moment before she finished cleaning up the mess and throwing away the rest of the grossness before changing Suki’s clothes.

Once she was fresh, Korra picked Suki up and cradled her like Asami had taught. She couldn’t help but smile at the tiny little person in her arms. There was no way to explain the feeling of staring at this baby, _her_ baby. It was almost like a dream. As if she’d fallen into some kind of alternate world that she would wake up from one day.

Korra had always wanted kids, she just never imagined it would happen this unexpectedly.

Then again, it hadn’t been nearly as hard as it could have been. Glancing up, she saw Asami watching them with a warm smile. “For what it’s worth,” Korra said. “I—I’m sorry. I know it couldn’t have been easy. I don’t know how it happened or…why but…I am sorry for everything I put you through.”

“Korra,” Asami’s shoulders slumped and she lowered her head. Hair cascaded across her face and she reached up to tuck it behind her ear. “I don’t—I’m not looking for an apology. I was mad when you left, I won’t lie to you. You broke my heart.” She held Suki a little tighter as heat burned behind her eyes. Hurting Asami was worse than hurting herself. “But I got over it and I had a baby and dealt with the ‘what happened’ and ‘why did it happen’. Chalk it up to where we were and what’s inside of you and how…different everything felt that night. I’m sure you remember?”

She nodded and flushed a little. “It was…intense.”

“It was mind-blowing.” It was Asami’s turn to blush and this only added to Korra’s red cheeks. “And then suddenly…you were gone and I was alone,”

“Asami I—“

“You need to stop,” she said with a soft smile. “I told you, it’s okay. It wasn’t for a long time but it is now and I’m happy now. I’m back at Future Industries and I work my ass and I _love_ it. I’ve got Suki, I’m really close with Pema and the kids. I’m talking to my dad again and you’re home and you seem to be doing so well. If leaving me made _you_ better, then…I can’t be mad about that.”

Korra shook her head and strode closer to Asami. “It was never about you, Asami. It was me, I was a mess and I took advantage of you because you made it okay, even if it was only temporary you…kept my head above water when I was drowning and I will always be grateful for that. Thank you for everything you sacrificed for me. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

“You’re welcome,” Asami smiled warmly and looked away. “Even if it’s not the same…I still love you, Korra. That will never change.”

Even as the feeling of loss settled over her, Korra felt hope in those words. Hope of what, she wasn’t sure, but she was appreciative for it. “I love you too.”

They were silent for a moment before Asami finally let out a long breath and pushed off the wall. “I should probably get home.” Korra frowned as she looked down at Suki in her arms. “I don’t want to pay the ferry captain any more yuans to just sit around.”

“Okay,” Korra handed Suki to Asami and that feeling of loss grew even more. She hadn’t thought far enough ahead to realize that she’d be spending the night alone after having spent so much of the day with Asami and her daughter. “When um…when can I—“

Asami grinned widely. “Tomorrow actually. I have a busy day all day and I’m meeting my dad for lunch so she’ll be here with Pema and if you’re here, you get to practice being mommy again.”

“Great,” Korra felt her spirits rise at the thought of seeing Suki tomorrow. Even if that meant tonight would be spent alone, fighting insomnia and her endless thoughts. “I guess I’ll see you both tomorrow then.”

“Have a good night, Korra.”

“Night.” She stood with her hands behind her back as Asami left. It was strange to be so physically distant from someone she’d shared a bed with for years. Still, they were friendly enough and Asami mentioned still loving her.

For now, it was all Korra had. Much like Asami, Korra needed to focus on her work and her daughter. After a full day of chasing bad guys around, she needed to try and sleep.

\-------------

"Well well, if it isn’t my incredibly famous daughter.” Hiroshi spoke with pride that Asami remembered from when she was little. Growing up, one thing she never doubted from her father was that he was always proud of the things she accomplished. From the first good grade she brought home from school to the first engine she built on her own, he always cared.

This however, was unexpected and Asami gave him a curious look as she put the Pai Sho board on the table. “What do you mean?”

His smile grew. “You were on the front page of the paper. Avatar Korra and Future Industries’ Asami Sato save Prince from dastardly attackers.”

“Oh gosh,” Asami shook her head. “The paper actually covered that?”

“So it would seem,” Hiroshi said with a laugh. “There was even a picture. That Prince Wu character flat on his butt and you hugging the Avatar.”

Asami couldn’t help but study his expression as he said that. Her father knew nothing about her relationship with Korra. When he went to jail, all he knew was that she was friends with Korra but was dating Mako. So much had changed since then, so many things had happened that he couldn’t have known about. These few visits had certainly started to rebuild their relationship, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to trust him with her biggest secrets.

“Korra just came back, and it wasn’t _dastardly_ attackers. It was Kuvira’s people trying to take the Prince to her for…who knows what.”

“Kuvira, that name shows up a lot in the news. Usually it’s only good things thought. Stabilizing cities and bringing peace. Are you saying she’s not all she’s cracked up to be?”

Asami sighed and settled her pieces on the board. “Not really. She was supposedly doing really great work at first, everyone seemed happy. But since I came back all I hear about is the pain she’s causing and the families she’s tearing apart.”

Once her board was set she looked up at her father only to see a confused expression on his face. “Since you came back?”

_Dammit Asami._

Running her tongue across her teeth, Asami decided there was no point in lying. She was never good at lying to her father anyway. “I spent two years in the Southern Water Tribe.”

“Really?” He seemed genuinely surprised. “Is that why you left the company? To travel?

Asami frowned. “I didn’t—it wasn’t a personal trip, in any way. If you read the papers then you know about the Red Lotus I’m sure.” He nodded somberly, still watching her. “They…really _really_ hurt Korra.” Asami hated talking about it. She could still remember holding Korra in her arms that first day when Kya was trying to do anything to make the pain in Korra’s body go away. “Her body was destroyed and she was in a wheelchair for six months.”

“That’s horrible,” he said and sounded sincere. “The papers didn’t mention anything about that. They said the Avatar was hiding. There was…questions of her duty. I never knew she was hurt that badly.”

The world would never appreciate Korra enough for her liking. “Well she was and she trusted me with a lot of her personal care at the time. So when she went back home to recover…I offered to go with her.”

“And you…lived with her for two years?”

Asami nodded. “Her and her parents, yes. They—“ she swallowed thickly and looked away from him. “They were like family to me. They are—I love her parents.”

Before she could check to see his reaction, Asami felt a gentle hand across her own. When she did finally look up, he was smiling at her. “Good, I’m glad someone took the time to appreciate how special you are and didn’t throw it away for nothing.” Tears sprung in Asami’s eyes and she tried to fight them off. When one escaped, she brushed it away quickly and started their game. However, her father was clearly not interested. “How long have you been in love with the Avatar?”

Asami froze and her hand hovered over the Pai Sho board for a moment before she glanced up at him guardedly. “I—I don’t,” she shook her head. “Her name is Korra, Dad. And how do you know I’m in love with her?”

“I know her name, Asami.” He pulled his hand away slowly and focused his eyes on it. “I’m fairly certain I have not earned the right to say it. Given what my associations were and what I knew the Equalists had planned for her.”

“What? What do you mean?” Asami tensed and she could tell that her father was uneasy about it.

He raised his hands up defensively and looked away. “I’m not trying to start anything, Asami."

“No, you don’t get to say things like that and then back off. No lies, no secrets. You promised me.”

Pursing his lips, Hiroshi sighed and nodded. He folded his hands neatly on the table and stared into her eyes. “What good would it have done to merely take the Avatar’s bending? Amon…he had no plans of letting her go. His plan was always to capture the Avatar. As far as I knew, the plan was to keep her locked away for the rest of her life. A living hostage. I never knew the specifics, but it was a horrendous life that no one should live.”

Anger boiled in Asami’s blood. She wanted to slam her fists down on the table. She wanted to reach across and smack him. She _needed_ to know why.

“How could you be involved with people that would do such a thing? She was seventeen. She had just moved to the city after being alone in a compound with almost no friends and no life experience. She was a kid.”

“She was the Avatar, Asami.” He said simply and she was ready to lash out, but he continued. “That’s all that mattered. Ninety-eight percent of the world only _ever_ see that. The Avatar—the legendary tales of the master of the elements. For non-benders who were tired of being oppressed, she was a symbol of everything we stood against. We didn’t know her, we only knew _of_ her.”

Her anger faded away, if only because she came to a realization. One she’d had years ago, finally making sense to her now. “That’s why I chose her over you. I _knew_ them. Mako and Bolin. _Korra—_ I knew her and I cared about all of them. They were people, good people. Better than your leader wearing his ridiculous mask.”

“I know, Asami. That’s why I’m here and you’re not. I deserve this. I am paying for the choices I made and I should be.”

Asami could tell he was sincere. She could sense in the way he spoke and the regret in his eyes that he meant every word. Still, there was a want to hurt him, to make him feel worse.

“I dated Korra for two years.” She said and his surprised expression wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she had hoped. “I shared…everything with her. My heart, my body, my dreams and my future. I gave up Future Industries for her, I gave up everything for her. Even before we were together…I gave up you.”

He stared at her for a while and Asami could tell he was trying to process. The response to this would go a long way towards deciding if she would ever see him again.

“I never should have put you in the position to choose.” All the frustration she’d built up disappeared. He smiled at her and she wanted to cry. “I should have been supporting you, helping you help her. I made so many mistakes with you, Asami.”

“You did the best you could.”

Hiroshi shook his head. “I didn’t. I passed you off to boarding schools and I brought you to my work just so I could work because staying at home was horrible after your mother died.”

Asami laughed as the tears spilled over her cheeks. “I always loved that. I found my passion for engineering on those long days at work with you.”

The tight smile he gave her showed that he was still not satisfied with something and Asami looked at their long forgotten game and then back at him. She waited for him to continue, hoping her expression would tell him to go on.

“You said you _dated_ her. Is it…no longer a relationship?”

 _There it is_.

Part of Asami wanted to tell him everything. He reacted so well to the Korra news that she wanted to see his face when she told him of her daughter. Suki was a subject Asami wanted to share with the world. However, it wasn’t _just_ her choice to make. Korra had been uneasy about her speaking with her father at all, any mention of Suki was a decision she’d have to discuss with Korra first.

“We’re not, but I still care about her a lot and she’s still a big part of my life.”

He smiled. “You still love her then?”

Asami swallowed against the dryness of her throat and nodded. “I always will.”

“Then be careful. People like the Red Lotus, people like the Equalists, like _me_ —will _always_ want to hurt her for being born at all. It’s not her fault, it’s just the mindset of some. Hatred bred from centuries before she ever existed.”

“I’m not afraid, I’ll…fight for Korra, with Korra—I’ll die for Korra. And I know she’d do the same thing for me.”

His grin widened. “That’s the kind of love any parent wishes for their child to find.”

\-----------------

This was not the dream scenario Korra had envisioned her first day with Suki being. In her mind, it was peaceful and perfect. It was her lying on the couch with Suki on her chest fast asleep.

She never imagined it like this. She walked, for what had to be the third time, all the way around the island and Suki would _not_ _stop_ _crying_. Each time she passed Pema in the kitchen, Korra would ask what she was doing wrong. Pema gave her the same answer every time. That she had to ‘find her groove’ as a parent and figure it out for herself.

“Did Asami go through this?” She’d asked and Pema only smiled wider.

“Oh dear, you have no idea.”

This only frustrated Korra more because Asami seemed so _flawless_ as a parent, after only three months. She seemed to know every mood Suki had and always had the answer to making their daughter feel better.

Part of Korra’s problem was that it still felt strange to refer to Suki as “ _their_ ” daughter. She had a child. It was the most unexpected situation she could have possibly come home to.

Yet, there was almost no time to adjust because here she was, trotting around with Suki, ignoring the numerous requests Tenzin had told her about Raiko wanting her to address the public. Instead, she was carrying her daughter around the island and trying to make her stop crying.

Once she finished her third lap around the island, Korra found a secluded area near the back, away from the training grounds and all the noise of schooling airbenders. She found a series of rocks that moved out into the water and carefully crossed them to find a comfy spot. She’d come out here before, mostly by herself when she was trying to think or get away from the chaos of Tenzin and the kids.

Even before the damage that Zaheer had done to her, Korra had always been fond of spending a little time alone. She’d grown up mostly isolated and had developed a fondness for the quiet. Certainly when she came to the city she joined pro bending, raced cars with Asami and fought for her life every day. Still, when she could, Korra enjoyed the serenity of her own company.

Today however, it was her and Suki and the wails Suki (who was freshly changed and had refused to eat three times) was shouting were starting to pierce into Korra’s head. They made her anxious and conjured up a lot of unwanted doubts about her skills as a part.

What if she couldn’t do it?

What if Suki didn’t like her or didn’t trust her?

What if Suki could tell that Korra was slightly damaged?

Maybe Suki could feel all of Korra’s mental and emotional scars.

_That’s nonsense Korra, she just doesn’t know you._

Taking a deep breath, Korra found a flat rock and carefully sat down with Suki in her lap

“Please stop crying, sweetheart.” Korra bounced her gently in her arms and glanced back at the island. It would be easy to run to Pema and hand her over. She’d asked for the day with Suki to learn. She wanted to be good at this, but it wasn’t working and she couldn’t get her to stop crying. It was only the first day; she couldn’t give up on the first day. “What if I make funny faces?” Korra said before twisting her face into random positions. She went with wide eyes and a curled lip, the stuck her tongue out and squished her nose 

It wasn’t working—Suki continued to scream and Korra picked her up and held her close.

_Think Korra, think about what else you can do. What calmed you down?_

Pulling Suki back, Korra stared at her tear stained face and used the material of her armband to gently brush them away. She settled Suki back into her lap and started to carefully stroke her finger over her daughter’s face.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey.”_

Suki’s eyes opened and her crying slowed. Korra smiled and continued.

“ _You’ll never know dear; how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”_

The irony struck her almost immediately, that as soon as Suki had stopped crying Korra started. They were good tears though, happy tears and one of the most welcome feelings she’d had in years. This felt like home, it was the same kind of feeling she had when she was with at home with her parents or lying in bed with Asami. As if the pain in her life didn’t matter. Being the Avatar was her life, but this was the balance of that. This was a place she wanted to be every single day. As the Avatar she would save the world, but her family were the ones who would make coming home worth it.

She moved Suki a little closer and continued to sing to her. She sang _Leaves From the Vine_ and any other song she could remember. Each one continued to soothe her little girl until finally Suki drifted off to sleep and Korra joyously started pumping her fist into the air while tears continued to fall. She brushed them all away and used every bit of grace and skill she had to carefully carry Suki back inside to sleep.

Upon her return to the dorms, she saw Mako standing in the doorway of her room with his uniform on and his hair combed up all neat. she held a finger to her lips to make sure he stayed quiet.

“Bad timing?”

Korra shook her head and gently laid Suki down in the crib. She brushed her thumb over her little eyebrows and realized she’s never felt such a powerful pull in her chest to love and protect someone. It was almost similar to her connection to Raava. So instinctual that she couldn’t explain it, even if she wanted to.

When she was satisfied with Suki’s position and slumber, Korra guided Mako out of the room. She stayed close to the door and sat down on a bench, gesturing for him to sit next to her.

“I’ll stay over here.” He said with a light smile that caused her to furrow her brows. Mako shrugged. “You looked really...beautiful today and I don’t…it’s better if I don’t sit next to you.”

Korra frowned. “Mako—“

“No,” he waved her off with a smile. “I’m not trying to start anything, I promise. I’ll never deny that I think you’re beautiful. I told you when we broke up that I’d always love you and I do, but we both know we don’t work so I’m not even going to pretend otherwise.”

She nodded and looked away from him. He was right, they didn’t work and Korra didn’t have any desire to start up anything with him. She didn’t have a heart to offer to him or anyone, Asami had never given it back.

“It’s not still going to be weird is it? With you and me?”

Mako shook his head. “No, I’m really close with Asami now and it’s not weird at all between us. I—I’m… _upset_ that you never wrote me but I think I understand why. I mean…you had everything you needed in the South with you.”

“That’s not true,” she said and finally looked at him again. “I need you and Bolin. I was just in a really bad place for a long time.”

“I know,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Asami was such a mess when she came back and I spent a few nights helping your mom take care of her. She…mentioned you every now and then.”

Korra didn’t like the sound of that. “Bad stuff?”

He only smiled more. “No, I mean you hurt her but the way she talked about you, even if I _did_ want to start a relationship with you again I could never compete with how much she loves you.”

“Oh,” she felt her face heat up a bit with a blush. “She uh—it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to have anything like that with me anymore.”

Mako was quiet for a moment before she watched him slide down to sit on the floor across from her. He pulled a knee up and rested his arm across it, looking at her contemplatively.

“Why did you leave?” He asked and Korra pouted a bit. This only made him laugh. “I’m not going to judge you, I—I’m not—I just want to know why. What you were looking for?”

Taking a deep breath, Korra let her mind wander back to that time. She could remember how lost she felt and how muddled the future seemed. Most of all, she could remember how dependent she was on Asami to make it through the day. The moment that stuck out the most was the night after Tenzin’s visit, when she failed to be the Avatar she expected herself to be. When she realized how much she was using Asami to keep herself going and how awful that made her feel.

“I was taking more than I was giving. From Asami, from my parents, from…everyone. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to get me through each day but my own.”

“Get you through each day? Like…what do you mean?”

Korra smiled sadly. “I mean there were days when I wanted to die, Mako.” This clearly upset him and Korra merely shrugged. “This is why you and Bolin didn’t get letters. I couldn’t find the right way, at that time, to tell you how depressed I was. How much I had lost. It felt like my entire future was torn away from me. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat. Most of the time I had to be around Asami or I had to be working myself to get stronger because if I stopped I would just drown in how awful I felt and how much control I had lost from my own life.”

“Was it really—“ he sighed and seemed to rethink what he was going to say. “I know it was hard. I mean I saw you in the chair and…I knew, but…I guess I didn’t really know.”

“I let it overwhelm me. I went from being so powerful and so sure of myself to suddenly needing Asami to take me to the bathroom and not being able to bathe on my own. It was hard and it stripped away the person I thought I was. For three years I had no idea who I saw in the mirror every day. She was a stranger and, honestly, she scared me.”

“She?” He asked and Korra closed her eyes. She could see those glowing eyes in her memory. The stalking image that followed her for so long.

“Me,” she smiled tightly and hoped it would convey that she was okay. Yet Mako still seemed worried. “I had to find a way to make it through the day on my own. I couldn’t…be with Asami like that. I couldn’t be with anyone like that. I want to be the Avatar, I want to be a girlfriend and a daughter and a friend. Not someone that the rest of the world has to take care of.”

He sighed slowly and licked his lips in thought. Korra glanced back at the bedroom door, feeling the sudden urge to check on Suki, when he finally spoke again.

“So…are you…better? Did you find what you were looking for?”

Korra shook her head. “No, but I did learn how to manage it and how to… _carry_ it. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. I mean I still get nightmares and get a little trapped in my own head sometimes but I manage and I’m here. I have no intentions of leaving again.” She gestured to the door. “Especially now.” 

He smiled and looked in that direction. “And Asami?” His glanced shifted to her. “Where does she stand?”

“Wherever she wants.” Korra said as she stood up and extended a hand to pull him to his feet.

“That’s not an answer,”  he said as he was suddenly looking down at her. “Are you still in love with her?”

“Oh absolutely,” Korra said over her shoulder as she turned to peek in through the door to see that Suki still seemed to be asleep. Stepping back out, Mako was smirking at her. “What?”

He shrugged. “Are you just going to let her go then?”

“Mako, if she’s not interested in being with me anymore than I can’t force it. I don’t want to ruin this. We’re parents now. We have actually been…really good together since I came back. Better than I could have hoped. Maybe that’s because the romantic aspect is gone.”

“So you don’t miss it?” He crossed his arms. “You don’t miss being with her.”

Korra scoffed. “That’s an entirely different question, Mako. Of course I _miss_ her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and she’s so…” She pouted as visions of Asami fighting off Kuvira's soldiers danced in her mind. “Who has a baby and then somehow looks even more fit and sexy? How is that possible! And she’s still just as wonderful and smart, she’s funny too and my family _loves_ her.”

This made him frown. “Wait, what? Your dad always seemed to hate me. I thought it was because I was dating you but…”

“Yeah...he loves her. They’re like best friends. They have inside jokes and everything.”

A deep pout settled on Mako’s face. “Well that’s ridiculous. He never said more than a few words to me.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Korra said with a laugh. “But yes, to answer your question, I am still crazy in love with Asami Sato. But it will pass, right? I mean…one day I’ll wake up and it won’t hurt my chest that she’s not next to me. Time heals and all that stuff Tenzin goes on and on about.” Mako studied her for a moment and Korra stood under his gaze just a bit too long and shoved him back. “What?”

“Maybe you should start over.”

“What?” She repeated and he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t play naïve, Korra, you know what I mean. Ask her out on a date!”

“What?!”

Mako groaned. “Will you stop saying what?”

“I will when you stop saying stupid things!” She smacked his arm. “And stop making me yell! If I wake up Suki I’m going to be mad at you.”

He rubbed his arm and backed away. “Ow! You are still really strong.”

“I know.”

His glare deepened. “I’m just saying. You said you wanted to find out who you were after Zaheer right?” Korra nodded. “That’s why you left? So…the old Korra dated Asami and it didn’t work, you left.”

“Okay, I mean you might as well stab me in the heart, but yes, it didn’t work.”

“Well…what about this new Korra? The Korra that came back—maybe she would fare better with Asami. Maybe _you_ would.”

She couldn’t deny his point. When she left, she was such a broken up mess that it almost felt like leaving was doing Asami a favor. Now, she was sturdier. She was more certain of her place and her future. She was, in some unfamiliar way, happy. Happy enough to get back everything she had with Asami? To find that love again and build on it rather than tear it down, the idea seemed too good to be true.

“Is it that simple? Can I just…ask her out?”

Mako shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I am the Avatar so…lots of stuff.”

He threw his head back dramatically. “You’re impossible.”

Despite her teasing, the idea stuck in her mind. Asami had said she wasn't looking for a relationship but it couldn't hurt to ask...could it?


	7. The Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes following your heart isn't always the best decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goldenhalcyonmountains made a glorious art for Relapse that is also quite relevant for this chapter. You can see it here, she's wonderful. 
> 
> http://goldenhalcyonmountains.tumblr.com/post/126928722642/you-cant-walk-away-from-me-korra-you

“I brought you some tea, I thought you might be cold out here.”

Korra turned from her perch on the railing to see Asami smiling at her with a steaming cup in hand. She smiled back and swung her legs off to stand. “You’re so sweet.” When she reached for the cup, their hands touched and Korra could suddenly remember the way those hands felt against her skin and it took all her energy not to drop the cup and lace Asami’s fingers through her own.

She resisted and took the cup, turning to sit it on the rail. “How long has it been since you’ve been up early enough to see the sunrise?”

This made Korra smile. “Not a lot since I came back. When I was sleeping in the swamp with Toph I got up early every morning, those rocks she sleeps on are brutal. Though not a whole lot worse than the beds at the inn I stayed at for a while before.”

Asami leaned against a wooden pillar and observed Korra. “You really did travel all over the world, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I only stopped moving the last three months or so, when I knew Raava wasn’t out there to be found. I thought if I could reconnect with the light spirit that it would chase away all the demons I had. That it might make me who I used to be.” Korra let the warmth of the cup radiate through her hands. “Once I accepted that I was never going to be that person again, I just waited until I had the courage to come home. Fortunately, I found Toph and got the rest of the poison out. I’ve felt better since then.”

“But not one-hundred percent?” Asami questioned but seemed to already know the answer.

Korra smiled sadly. “No, I—I’m not the Avatar I used to be. Tenzin’s been so careful with me lately and it’s frustrating. That combined with some things Toph said just have me thinking that…maybe the world doesn’t need the Avatar anymore.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Asami returned immediately.

“At the time I thought so too, I thought it was just Toph being her normal, cranky self—but I’m beginning to think she had a point.”

“No, she doesn’t” Asami’s voice was certain and Korra found comfort in that. “The world _does_ need you. You’re the Avatar!”

Korra sighed and stared at the swirling liquid in the cup. “But no matter what I do the world seems to always be out of balance!” She sighed, it would be pointless to go over her entire history with Asami again. She knew it already. Still, she wanted to say what had been on her mind for so long now. The plagued thoughts that kept her up at night. “What if it’s me? What if I’m the reason the world is out of balance?”

“What?” Asami seemed even more confused and Korra’s shoulders slumped.

“Every decision I’ve made has had consequences. Everything that I’ve done, no matter how good it seemed at the time, has come back to haunt me.”

Asami shook her head. “Korra you rebuilt the Air Nation. You saved an entire culture.”

“Yeah, and Zaheer got those same gifts that the other airbenders did and he nearly killed me.” Korra swallowed thickly. “If it wasn’t for him, the Earth Queen would still be alive and Kuvira wouldn’t be in power. The world is more out of balance than ever now. Nothing’s changed!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Korra.” Asami spoke softly and it was that familiar tone Korra knew from their time together. The way Asami would always make her feel better. “ _You’ve_ changed. Don’t you remember when you first came here? You were so…hotheaded and you jumped into things without thinking. You asked Mako out while I was dating him and didn’t even give a damn because you wanted it.”

Korra frowned, this was not the pep talk she was expecting. “So you’re saying I was selfish?”

Asami laughed with a playful shrug. “Maybe, but the important thing is that you have grown, so much that it amazes me. You have a duty, yes. You are the Avatar and it is your duty to put others before yourself. But the title you carry doesn’t define the person I see every day. The one who lost three years of her own life so that the new Air Nation could stay strong and survive. Korra you sacrificed everything for them. You’re so thoughtful and brave, compassionate and strong. You are an inspiration to the world.”

In that moment, Korra’s heart swelled so much that she couldn’t even look at Asami. She smiled and stared at her feet. “Thank you. Y—you were always good at that.”

“It’s pretty easy to talk you up, Korra.”

She sighed and stared off at the rising sun. “I know that this Kuvira thing is only going to get worse but…it _is_ my responsibly to bring balance to the world and right now Kuvira is threatening that. So I’ll do my duty and I’ll stop her,” she looked back at Asami and smiled. “Like I always have, with help from the people I care about.”

Asami nodded. “No doubt about that.” They were silent for a moment before Asami finally put her hands behind her back. “I um…I should go, I have an early meeting.”

“Okay, Suki’s—?”

“Inside sleeping, she wasn’t ready to be on a boat this early so she’s a little worn out from being dragged out of bed.” Asami winked and Korra remembered how beautiful she was. “A lot like someone else I know.”

“Morning’s are evil, I stand by that.”

“She really is your daughter then,” Asami said and started to descended the steps with Korra in tow. “I’ll be back around six to pick her up.”

“Take your time,” Korra said as she followed Asami to the dock. “I am more than prepared now for these days. I’m picking this up quicker than I did with airbending.”

Asami peeked over her shoulder and smirked. “Thank goodness for that.”

They shared a quick goodbye and Korra still hated that she couldn’t kiss Asami whenever she left. It felt like a part of her was missing at their lack of physical contact. Still, Korra held hope that she could reconcile that soon. If she could just find the courage to make her move.

When the ferry pulled away from the dock, Korra turned and quickly went inside to find her little girl—if only to watch her sleep for a while.

\-----------------

The huff of air that hit her face stirred Korra from her near slumber and she turned to see Naga staring at her with a wagging tail.

“What?” Korra asked and Naga snorted into her hair again. “Will you stop. She is fine,” Korra looked down to see Suki fast asleep on her chest. “See, I told you and I guarantee she’s more comfortable cause I’ve got comfier pillows than Asami does.” Korra couldn’t help but laugh at her own joke as she refocused on Naga who sat down but was still watching her intently. “You are such a brat; you know that? I didn’t think that leaving meant my best friend would find someone to love more than me.”

“She’s pretty special though,” Jinora’s voice came from the entrance and Korra looked over Naga’s head to see the young airbending master leaning against the doorframe with a smile. “Mom told me that you were planning to ask Asami out again.”

A blush spread across Korra’s face. “I am. I mean I’m going to try anyway. I—I don’t know if she’ll be interested.”

“Come on, Korra. When I saw you two back in the South she was crazy about you.”

Despite the intended confidence boost, Korra felt suddenly worse. “Things were far from perfect back then.”

As Korra placed a hand across Suki’s back and gently stroked a thumb over her neck, Jinora moved into the room. “I know it didn’t end well. But that doesn’t mean you lost everything you two had. The way she took care of you when you were hurt…that means something.”

This was this very same bed that Korra spent so many of those nights curled up in Asami’s arms, just trying to hold on. She could remember when she had her accident and how gentle Asami was with her. That was such a low point and somehow Asami had turned it into a strangely good memory. Beyond the loss of control, it was the thoughts of being safely tucked into Asami’s arms. Thoughts of being carried to the bathtub and how tenderly Asami touched her—cared for her.

“It does, it always will to me. That’s why I want to be with her. I’ll never love anyone the way I love her.”

Jinora apparently couldn’t hold in her soft squeal of delight as she clapped her hands together and Korra gestured at the baby on her chest.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Jinora whispered sharply. “I’m just so excited. My inner Ikki took over a little. I had an idea and I was talking to mom and I think you might really love it.”

Carefully, Korra wrapped an arm behind Suki’s back and sat up, baby pressed to her chest and rested against the wall behind her. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“What if you had a date night, right here on the island? Mom said she’d cook for you and Ikki and I can clear everyone out. It’d just be the two of you and we’ll all watch little Kiko.”

“Kiko?”

Jinora pouted. “Yes, that is the nickname we all tried to make work but Asami refused.”

“We all?” Korra asked with a raised brow.

“Okay, me and Ikki—but Kai and Meelo were on our side too.”

Korra rolled her eyes. “Kai would follow you off a cliff without airbending.”

A soft flush painted Jinora’s cheeks. “ _Still,_ Kiko is just as good of a nickname for Tsukiko and Suki.”

“My daughter’s nickname is not up for debate. What is this date nonsense you were talking about?”

“Right!” Jinora’s face lit up again. “Think about it; Asami comes to pick up Suki and she finds you standing there, looking beautiful in one of your dresses and you’ve got dinner ready for her and you just…ask her out again.”

Korra narrowed a hard stare at her. “You’ve been talking to Mako, haven’t you?”

She returned an innocent gaze but it quickly faltered under Korra’s Avatar glare. “Okay so maybe I have. He and I meet up with Opal sometimes and read books and stuff. Mako’s been trying a lot of new things over the last few years since you and Asami left”

“Wait, really?”

Before Jinora could answer, Suki stirred in Korra’s arms and she knew she’d moved her too much. She looked down with a smile at her little girl but instead of seeing her happy baby all she got was the loud, shrieking cries that pierced her ears.

“Uh oh,” Jinora said while retreating back to the door.

“Wait,” Korra stood up off the bed and tucked Suki into her arm. “She’s probably just hungry. It’s been a few hours. You were telling me about this plan of yours. I can feed babies and plot dates at the same time.” Jinora gave her a doubtful look. “Hey, I am the Avatar. I bend four elements. I can romancebend and babybend at the same time.”

“You do realize that just adding _bend_ to the end of each word doesn’t suddenly make you a master of it?”

Korra scoffed as the cries from the girl in her arms grew louder. “It absolutely does, although I am also an airbender and we’re not getting to the food fast enough. Air-scooter race?”

“Korra that isn’t safe, you’ve got—“

Knowing what she could handle, Korra safely tucked Suki in her arms and created a ball of air underneath of her. She used it to glide herself across the island towards the kitchen where Suki’s food was waiting. She heard Jinora come up behind her and gently stopped when she reached her destination—Suki still tucked away safely.

“See,” Korra winked back at Jinora who was brushing at her robes. “I know what I’m doing. Mombending.”

Jinora stared at her derisively. “You’re—you know what? We’re here, we’re in one piece and your baby is hungry. Asami will kick your butt if she finds out you did that though.”

“That’s why we won’t be telling her. Instead, we’ll be planning this date that you and Mako schemed up.” Korra sat down, bottle in hand and she gently bent heat into her palm to warm it up. Asami had taught her the trick to proper temperature and Korra finished heating it and dabbed a bit on her elbow.

For a brief moment she was very aware of where this particular milk she was licking off her elbow had come from and it was a thought she did _not_ need right now.

“Mako only told me what he told you, about the _new_ you asking her on a date.”

Once Korra decided the temperature was just right, she offered the bottle to Suki. Making sure that she was holding her just like Asami had taught, she watched her daughter eagerly start eating and smiled.

After a few blissful moments of watching Suki eat, she refocused on Jinora. “Mako reads books with you and Opal?”

“Sometimes Kai too, but he has trouble staying focused.” Jinora shrugged. “Like I said, Mako’s trying new things and I think he enjoys it. He was pretty lost when you and Asami left.”

Korra frowned slightly, suddenly feeling guilty for never writing him. Not that her letters of misery would have cheered him up. “I’m glad he’s doing that,” she said and meant every word of it. “You really are great at helping people, aren’t you?”

Jinora bashfully lowered her head and shrugged again. “I enjoy showing people ways to feel better. I—It’s the airbender way to assist those who seek help.”

“I know,” Korra’s smile grew. “But you’re different. You’re special, Jinora. I look forward to seeking council from you, as the Avatar and as a friend, for many years to come.”

“I will always be at your side, Korra. Whatever you need.”

Korra chuckled. “So long as you don’t pop in on me with that projection stuff without knocking first.”

“Noted, now, as your advisor, I need to know if you’re in on this date plan of ours because if Mom is going to cook for you, she’ll need to get started.”

Korra had thought about what Mako mentioned for the last few days. It made sense in a lot of ways. She _was_ different now. She was no longer the girl that Asami remembered. Was she completely healed? No, but she was no longer haunted by doubts and constantly trying to find things that simply weren’t there anymore. She was so much better—sleeping was easier and her appetite had been back for months.

Yes, she had changed. She wasn’t the same avatar she’d been and certainly not the same girl—but the one thing that remained the same was her love for Asami. If anything, the time apart made it grow even stronger.

Looking into Jinora’s hopeful eyes, Korra nodded. “I know the perfect dress.”

\-------------

Asami was exhausted. A day full of meetings and drafting work had taken away all of her energy. She sincerely hoped that Suki was asleep because the thought of staying up another two hours trying to lull her back to sleep was awful. She had certainly missed her though. This was one of the few days in the last three months that Asami hadn’t seen her at all.

Most importantly, she hoped that Korra had done well. It would make everything simpler if Korra took to parenting. It hadn’t been easy so far. There was the day Korra poked Suki while changing her diaper and drew a little droplet of blood. She had never seen Korra pale so quickly. For a while it looked like Korra might pass out at the sight of her daughter’s blood. It was easily healed but Korra felt guilty the rest of the day.

Mistakes were something Asami could relate to. She had her problems adjusting but she’d found a good groove and was far more patient than the Avatar. Still, if Korra could handle days alone with Suki then it might give Asami the chance for more days as productive as this one.

The island was especially quiet, even if the sun had all but disappeared. Asami had spent enough nights here to know that there was usually something going on, particularly with so many airbenders now living here.

When she crossed the main walkway and approached the foyer, Asami pushed the door open gently and peeked inside.

Her heart caught in her throat at the sight before her. Korra stood in the middle of the room with her back facing Asami, and she was wearing her dress. The same dress she’d worn when Asami first met her. The dress she had told Korra once before was her favorite.

Korra give her a bright smile when she finally noticed her and turned around. “Hey,” she said and her grin grew even more.

As she stepped aside, Asami saw a small table that she’d set up with a pair of candles lit and two plates sitting across from one another.

“Korra,” Asami whispered as the tears burned behind her eyes. “What…what are you doing?”

She felt a hand fall across her back and realized how close Korra was standing to her. “We never did get to finish that date you know?”

Anger bubbled in Asami’s gut and she moved away from Korra’s hand. “I told you not to do this.”

“What?” Korra’s voice was suddenly distressed and Asami didn’t dare look at her. “Asami I know how this must look but hear me out.”

_Hear you out?_

“Why should I?” Asami finally looked up and saw Korra recoil at the sharpness in her voice. “Why should I listen to _you_ , when you clearly decided to ignore me?”

“I didn’t—Asami I know what you said but will you just hear me out? Please?” The desperation in Korra’s voice was enough to keep Asami quiet. Though she held her hard glare and Korra wavered a bit underneath of it. “I was talking to Mako and he said something about how our relationship didn’t work because I wasn’t in a good place and how…you dated the old Korra. And he’s right, you dated a girl who was lost and scared and…so many things that I’m trying not to be now. I’m stronger and I understand more of what I went through and where I’m going. I—I feel like I can be more for you. I can give you more. I—I love you, Asami.”

There was a smile on Korra’s face when she finished and Asami believed every word she said. She had changed, Asami had seen it from the first day Korra came back. She was sturdier and more in control of herself. It was wonderful to see and all that Asami had hoped for her when she left.

However, that was the problem. She left, and while Asami supported that now and had accepted in months ago. It didn’t change one simple truth.

“You’re not the only one who changed, Korra.” She saw the light in Korra’s blue eyes dim and it broke her heart. “I’m not—“ Asami gestured at the table and everything Korra had done. “I can’t do this and I don’t want to. I am tired and I have to get my baby and take her home. Where is Suki?”

Korra gestured with her hand. “With Pema, she offered to take her when I mentioned wanting to do this. I—I was afraid I’d be imposing but she insisted.”

“I want to get her and go home. I’m sorry, Korra.”

When Asami headed for the door, Korra spoke. “So that’s it?” Asami looked back because of the frustration in Korra’s voice. “You changed and suddenly you can just forget everything we went through?”

“Is that what you think?” Asami turned and faced Korra. If they were going to do this, then they were going to do it properly. “You think that I forgot everything we went through?”

“You don’t really seem all that upset that you’re breaking my heart. Just ruin Korra, pick up our daughter and go home like it’s _nothing_.”

Asami shook her head. “What do you want me to say, Korra? Do you want me to sit down and eat with you and pretend that I didn’t spend the last year not knowing where you were—not knowing if you were ever coming back? Because that’s what I went through. The time you _think_ I forgot, is the reason why we can’t be together, because I _can’t_ forget it. Because you coming back doesn’t suddenly erase the time we were together when you left me, in the middle of the night, with a _fucking_ letter on the pillow.”

If only for a moment, Korra was taken back by the curse word Asami threw at her. A heartbeat later, she composed herself. “Would you have rather I stayed and kept using you and treating you like crap? Because I left for you as much as I left for myself. I didn’t want to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me but I knew that if I told you I was leaving you would have stopped me.”

“You’re right, I would have—because running away never fixes anything, Korra. You don’t abandon people!”

Korra scoffed. “You wouldn’t understand; this is why I couldn’t tell you. It’s not about just leaving you Asami, it’s about _fixing_ me. I was so broken I—“ Korra looked up at the ceiling and Asami saw the tears brimming in her eyes. She was clearly fighting them with everything she had. “Asami I thought about killing myself. I wanted to die, I wanted to leave, I wanted to be _anywhere_ but in my own body. How the hell do I tell someone about that? How do I…explain what it feels like to have everything in your life go well—to wake up next to the woman you love—and still feel sad and hopeless.” A tear slipped away and Korra let it fall. “How could I look you in the eyes and tell you that you weren’t enough?”

“Because Korra,” Asami smiled despite the aching pit in her stomach. “Then I could have changed what I was doing and been what you needed. I could have, at least, had the chance. You made the decision to end our relationship on your own. Without even telling me. So now, I’m making the decision to keep it that way. I’m sorry but…I need to go home.”

She saw Korra swallow thickly and nod, clearly defeated as she stepped over and waved a puff of air to put out the candles. “Pema’s in the kitchen. I uh…I had fun with her today.”

“Good,” Asami moved to the door. “This doesn’t mean you can’t still be in her life, Korra. Would you like to see her tomorrow?”

Korra wouldn’t look at her, but she shook her head. “I can’t—I mean I want to but I have…Avatar stuff with Tenzin tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Asami hated asking, but she needed to know. “You still want to see her, right?”

“Of course I do, we had a great day today.” Korra said matter-of-factly. “The day after I should have time.” Asami nodded with a bit of relief. She didn’t want to keep Korra from their daughter.

“Great,” Asami forced a smile even though Korra wouldn’t look at her. “I’ll just go get her and head home. I am sorry, Korra. I appreciate all you did tonight I just—“

“It’s okay,” Korra gave her a faint smile that only made Asami feel worse. “Rash decisions have never worked out well for me. I’ve tried to cut them down when it comes to Avatar stuff. Guess I should apply it to personal decisions too.”

Asami felt like she should say more, but the words escaped her. Korra was sad and there was a pull to close the distance between them and hug her. For so long her job to make Korra feel better. Now she didn’t have that right, she’d probably just lost any chance of ever getting it back.

_I need to get away from here._

“Goodnight, Korra.”

She nodded and waved as she picked up the plates on the table. Asami suddenly realized how much she had planned out.

_Oh Korra._

“Night, Asami.” Korra said softly before exiting through the opposite door without another look back.


	8. Repairs - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami's wants and Asami's needs are two very different things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Asami absolutely created a baby seat and a car seat lol. If they weren't already a thing, then she made them a thing.

“No,” Asami cried as she rolled over onto her back and felt the tears already starting. It was late, extremely late. After a long night of cleaning up spit-up and dealing with her own issues, Asami was exhausted and _just_ as she was ready to sleep, Suki started crying.

She felt overwhelmed as she sat up and put a hand to her mouth to stop a sob from slipping free. Her heart was shredded from her fight with Korra, tomorrow (technically today since it was well past midnight) she had a meeting with Raiko and Varrick. And Suki had been fussy and upset all night.

As much as Asami wanted to grab her blanket and run to the other end of the estate, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Instead she climbed out of bed and forced herself to stop crying. When she reached the crib, Suki was a mess. Her legs were kicking and she had tear streaks all down her face.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong.” Asami picked her up and pulled her in close. When she started to rub the back of Suki’s head, the heat that pulsed from her skin immediately worried her. “You’re burning up.” She held Suki at a distance and looked her over. She was still crying and fitful. Asami remembered how hard it had been to get Suki to eat.

All of her earlier anxiety turned into fear. Something wasn’t right. The fever, the way she struggled to eat and now the crying and not sleeping. Her baby was sick and Asami had no idea what to do. What could she do? She was alone now; Naga wasn’t even around to make her feel better.

Taking a deep breath, Asami forced herself to calm down. A freak out wouldn’t do Suki any good. She needed to do something, take her to someone who _could_ help her. Truth was, she _needed_ help.

She needed Pema or Senna to tell her what to do. Contacting Senna might work quickest, but what could Senna really know from a phone call without seeing her granddaughter?

It was too late for the ferry and Asami knew her private boat was still at the dock. Could she take a baby on a boat?

When Suki let out another screeching cry, she knew there was no other choice.

Asami packed a small bag of things, including a change of clothes if the night ran long and she couldn’t come back home. Suki was still a mess when Asami reached her Satomobile and though she had a special seat in the back, she didn’t want to let her go.

So she climbed into the driver’s seat, Suki in her arm and drove for the docks.

There was almost no traffic, none of the shops around the city were open. This was the quietest time in Republic City. If anyone saw her carrying her baby in the front seat they would scream at her for how unsafe it was—but she couldn’t bring herself to let her go. It pained her to know that she couldn’t fix this, that she had no idea _how_ to fix this. That’s what she did, she fixed things and if something was wrong with Suki she should be the one to take care of it.

_You couldn’t fix Korra either._

Again she fought the tears as she finally reached the dock and parked her Satomobile haphazardly in a free space before fishing the keys for the boat out of her bag.

Everything was a bit hazy. Asami was so drained that each step she took was shaky and her grip on Suki was snug because she was afraid she might drop her.

The boat ride was only a few minutes but it felt like forever. Asami never let her daughter go, just drove as quickly and carefully as she could.

Parking the boat against the dock and exiting it were done so frantically that Asami nearly dropped her bag in the water. Suki might be really sick and she needed to find Kya for help. She needed Pema to tell her what was wrong and that it would be okay.

She needed...

“Help!” Asami cried and cradled Suki in her arms.

The first response she heard was the extremely loud bark of Naga, followed by the hurried paws of the polar bear-dog as she came racing towards Asami. She slid to a stop just in front of her and nestled her nose gently against Suki’s back. Asami leaned into her for support but a second later there were more footsteps coming at her. 

“Asami!” It was Korra and the sound of her voice settled her enough to take a step and carefully hold out their daughter.

“Take her, I’m too shaky—something’s wrong, Korra.”

Concern etched Korra’s face instantly as she took Suki and looked her over. Tenzin and Pema were rushing up behind them. “What’s wrong?” Pema asked as she peered over Korra’s shoulder at Suki. “Asami?”

“I don’t know, she wouldn’t eat and she wouldn’t sleep and she had a fever so I just panicked and brought her here. I—I didn’t know what else to do.” When her voice broke, Pema took a step towards her and hugged her. Asami held on tightly and tried to force herself to calm down. Glancing over Pema, she saw Korra drape a hand over Suki’s forehead in a quiet panic to find out what was wrong.

“She’s right,” Korra said. “She’s really warm.”

Pema broke from the hug and reached back to replace Korra’s hand. She touched for a moment before flipping her palm over and laying the back of hand on the skin. “Her temperature is definitely high. We’ll go get Kya for an evaluation.”

“I’m a healer,” Korra said and Asami could hear the desperation in her voice. It comforted her to see that Korra needed to fix this problem on her own just as much as she did. “I—I can,”

“Korra,” Tenzin spoke as he laid a hand across her back. “My sister is a more experienced healer. Certainly you could tend to her, but Kya can diagnose the problem and tell us what to do.” Korra seemed to nod in understanding, even though she didn’t look away from Suki.

Just as Tenzin started to lead her to Kya, Korra stopped and looked back at Asami. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Asami nodded. “I just…need a minute.”

Korra smiled slightly. “Okay, I’ve got her.”

With a shaky breath, Asami moved to a bench with a little help from Pema and sat down. Her nerves were shot and she could feel her heart in her throat. She tried to focus on the feeling of Pema’s hand running circles across her back.

“Relax, Asami. You did the right thing bringing her here.”

Asami shook her head quickly. “No I didn’t, Pema—it was so unsafe.” She squeezed her hands into tight fists. “I held her in my lap as I drove here. I had one hand on her and one hand on the wheel. That’s why I made the damned Sato-Seat for her, because that’s unsafe. Then on the boat I just…drove. My adrenaline was messing with me and—Pema I could have had an accident.” Asami looked desperately at Pema as tears blurred her vision. “I could have—“

“Shh,” Pema pulled her in for another hug and Asami cried. She was tired and shaken and still didn’t know if her little girl was okay. “You reacted, Asami. It’s what we do as parents.”

She closed her eyes and sniffled sharply. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was wrong with her and she just…was off all night, I should have brought her sooner but I have a meeting tomorrow and Korra and I—“ Pulling away from Pema, Asami wiped at her eyes and looked away. “This is what I was worried about.” She sighed. “I knew that if Korra and I got too personal that it would keep me from coming here and I need your help with these things. I don’t know how to be a mom.”

“You’re doing fine, Asami. Every first time mom needs help. Katara was wonderful in helping me, especially when Jinora started airbending. It’s new territory for every mom. Including Korra who is probably just as scared as you are.”

Asami nodded and knew Pema was right. It was silly to think that she’d have all the answers just from the books she’d read. Asami had wanted to be a good parent and thought it was a skill she could learn like engineering. She read texts on parenting well into her pregnancy. Books about raising infants and toddlers, benders and non-benders—any possibility she could think of.

Yet, nothing she’d learned had fully prepared her for what it was like three months later. Suki was unique, as she realized now every baby was. It was just scary how fragile she was and how much she mattered to Asami’s future after such a short time. Even if her creation was a mystery, her presence now was everything.

Running a hand through her hair, Asami let out a long and slow breath to try and steady herself.

“I should go check on her…them.” She pushed to her feet and Pema followed her into the foyer where she saw a small group huddled over a large bowl filled with water.

Korra’s arms were dipped into the water as she held a still crying Suki up. Kya was running water over her body slowly and Asami noticed they’d taken her pajamas off. Feeling like she needed to _do_ something, she walked over and picked up the small clothes and held them.

When their eyes met, Korra gave her a sympathetic look and Asami offered a gentle smile to let her know that she was glad she was there. It was nice not being the only one who didn’t know how to react and who clearly treated this situation like the scariest thing in the world.

“Okay,” Kya pulled away with a soft laugh that instantly made Asami feel better. “It’s just a slight ear infection, very common with babies and the fever, the crying…all of it is just because Suki’s uncomfortable.” Korra pulled Suki out of the water and used a free hand to bend her dry.

She held her daughter close and stared up at Kya hopefully. “Can I heal her?”

“Sure, she’ll probably be more comfortable with you anyway. Just be careful with the water, don’t let it get into her ear to deep and she should be better with a good nights sleep.”

Korra nodded, still clearly battling both the shock of being woken up in the middle of the night and the slew of information being thrown at her. As Pema cleaned out the bowl of water and added new, fresh water to it, Asami stepped over to Korra and touched the top of her baby’s head.

“I’m so sorry, Korra.”

Looking up, Korra carried the question in her eyes and Asami knew she asking what the apology was for. Before Asami could answer, Korra smiled. “You look awful.” Asami laughed despite herself. Her breath caught in her throat a moment later when Korra’s hand gently touched her cheek. “Come on, you can lay down next to me while I heal Suki’s ear. You need to sleep.”

Asami was too tired to argue. Instead she nodded and carried the water bowl into the room behind Korra. Once they were situated and Korra had Suki resting against her pulled up knees, Asami curled up beside her and watched as Korra lovingly stroked Suki’s cheek a few times. She was still crying, but they’d slowed into steady whimpers.

“Poor baby is probably tired,” Asami said thickly as sleep pulled at her. “She’s been up all night.”

Korra carefully moved a few small streams of water into Suki’s ear and they started to glow under her careful ministrations. “I don’t think she’s the only one.” Korra said, not looking away from their daughter. “Get some sleep, Asami. I’ve got her.”

“Are you sure?” She looked up and Korra stared down at her with a comforting smile.

“I am. Go to sleep, Mom.”

A grin broke out across Asami’s face before her eyes fluttered shut.

She’d forgotten how safe Korra made her feel and how much she missed sharing a bed with her. Sleep came easy after that.

\---------------

The emptiness of the bed was the first thing Asami noticed when she woke. It was strangely familiar, a sense of déjà vu she never wanted to have. Lifting her head up, she scanned the pillow beside her and sighed when she saw no note waiting for her.

This was not a memory or a dream. Asami laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. For a moment, she ignored the responsibilities of the day. She knew Suki was…somewhere, most likely with Korra and after the events of last night she had a thousand things she needed to explain.

She’d pushed Korra away and then somehow ended up sleeping next to her and _needing_ her so much. The only way she could have possibly slept last night was with Korra by her side, and it was exactly what she got. Asami could play tough as much as she wanted, but raising Suki on her own was hard and knowing Korra was close made it better.

It was scary needing Korra, because Asami had spent so much time trying to convince herself that she didn’t.

The more she thought about it, Asami knew that Korra leaving had hurt her pride more than it hurt her heart. She wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Korra was not well when they were together, it was just upsetting that she couldn’t do anything about it. That was what Asami did—it was what she had built her entire life on and Korra was the most valuable treasure she’d ever had. To see her broken and not be able to repair her was devastating.

_Your disappointment at not being able to help her is no excuse to lash out at her_.

Asami grimaced at the memory of Korra, in her beautiful blue dress, shuffling out of the room when the night she’d planned was ruined. Yes, Asami had made it clear that she didn’t want a relationship and Korra had ignored that, but yelling at her didn’t help anything and Korra didn’t deserve it.

Korra was allowed to love her, just as Asami was allowed to resist her feelings.

There was a sudden need to see her, they needed to talk and figure all of this out. She wanted to be with her family, she didn’t know what that meant or the depth of this rush of feelings but Asami’s feet were on the floor and she was off the bed quickly. The way the sun hung in the sky, she knew it was much later than she normally woke up—which meant she didn’t have a lot of time before she’d need to go home and prepare for her meeting.

Asami’s mind quickly registered that she was both barefoot and had been under a blanket when she woke, two things she was certainly not when she’d fallen asleep. Which meant that once Korra had put Suki down, she’d taken the time to make her more comfortable as well.

Her heart flooded with love for this damn girl who was so thoughtful and giving. Only adding to the guilt that she had probably made Korra feel selfish for leaving. Of course it hurt, but Korra had to have seen it as a last resort. Asami never questioned Korra’s love for her, when she left, there was no doubt it felt like her only chance to help herself.

She needed to see Korra in the worst way and as she shuffled through the halls in search of her family, she was met with only Pema, carrying Suki around with a bottle in her hand.

“She doing better?” Asami asked immediately and Pema nodded. “Where’s Korra?” She asked as she pushed the hair from her face.

There was a slight concern in Pema’s face that unsettled her. “I—I’m not sure, she came in with Suki and said that something was wrong and she needed to go check it out. Jinora and Opal were with her. I told her I’d look after Suki until you woke up.”

Stepping over, Asami carefully took Suki from Pema and held her close. She wanted to feed her naturally, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to swap her food source mid meal so she continued to walk around holding the bottle.

“Korra was pretty upset last night,” Pema said offhandedly and Asami glanced over at her with a frown. “It seemed like a good idea at the time when Jinora came to me about her setting up a date night for you two. I suppose I should have gotten all the details before I agreed.

Asami sighed. “It’s complicated. I told her that I wasn’t interested in restarting our relationship, at least not right now—maybe not ever. I don’t know. I think Korra thought she could just lower her shoulder and break through the wall and somehow make it work.”

“Old habits die hard,” Pema said with a light smile. “I’m sorry for the role I played in that, it’s not my place to get involved.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. I don’t…” she looked down at Suki who had finished her meal and sat the bottle aside. Asami dabbed at her face with a towel before hoisting her up over her shoulder and gently patting her back. “Her and I need to sit down and have a very long and much needed conversation because we can’t just pretend that everything is okay. I don’t want a fake relationship with her. Whatever we eventually become needs to be real but if we just keep avoiding our feelings, which I am an expert at, we’ll never be okay.”

When Pema walked up next to her, Asami looked into the warm and caring eyes she’d come to rely on quite frequently since Suki was born. She felt a hand fall across her shoulder.

“What do you want, Asami?” Pema asked and Asami lifted a brow in hopes of elaboration. “I mean…you can be careful with your heart, I understand that, but if you love Korra and she loves you, are you really _that_ against making it work?”

Asami held Suki a little tighter. “I don’t know, I don’t…think as clearly as I normally do when it comes to Korra. I mean I gave up my whole life to follow her to the south pole for two years and I didn’t even blink. There was no doubt that I needed to be with her now it’s just…”

“Scary?” Pema finished and Asami could only nod. “Scary because you think that if you try again and fail, you’ll ruin your friendship too?”

“Something like that,” she whispered as Suki let out a few soft burps and Asami rubbed slow, comforting circles along her back. “I realized last night how much I _need_ Korra and I want her to be a bigger part of Suki’s life and if we got back together and it didn’t work…what if we messed up everything? What if we couldn’t be around each other anymore? That wouldn’t be fair to Suki. It wouldn’t be fair to _us_.” She shook her head angrily. “It works the other way too, I should have brought Suki here sooner but I didn’t want to see Korra after what happened and I waited until I got too scared not to and—“ Tears brimmed in her eyes and she brushed at them furiously.

“She’s okay, you’re okay and you can’t beat yourself up over it. You’re not wrong though, you and Korra need to talk, you need to figure out where to go from here because skirting around the issue will only make matters worse.”

“I know,” she nodded before looking out the window and seeing the sun high in the sky. “I have to go, I’ve got a meeting with President Raiko and Varrick today.”

When she looked back, Pema was already setting up a clear spot on the table. “I know and I’m happy to take her. You change her, you spend a little time with her and go to your meeting. When you get back though, talk to Korra.”

“Talk to Korra,” Asami repeated as she carefully laid Suki down on the table and smiled down at the beautiful face staring back at her. “I can do that.”

\----------------

"Wow, Tenzin wasn’t kidding when he said _deep_ in the mountain.” Mako’s voice dragged Korra from her plaguing thoughts. To say she was nervous would be a colossal understatement. Zaheer’s face and memories of his voice bellowing out at how she was going to die had been haunting her for years now.

To be this close to actually seeing him face to face was terrifying.

Korra took a deep breath and attempted to push out her negative thoughts and focus on what was important. She _needed_ to do this, it was her job as the Avatar to be strong enough to do this. To see him, to break this block he held over her, connect to the spirit world and save Jinora and the others. If nobody believed in her abilities to do her duty than she would have to prove them all wrong. Even the voice in the back of her head that told her they were right.

The small boat they were on turned with the current of the water. The White Lotus guard guiding it seemed focused on his job and hadn’t said a word to her since they started towards Zaheer’s prison.

Mako was watching her though, she could feel his eyes on her finally looked up at him. “You didn’t have to come.”

“I did,” he said with a smile. “For one, I’m not actually working today and it was either this or spend the day with Wu and my family at the hotel. Also…I’m not letting you do this on your own.”

She shook her head. “I have to do this on my own. I need to know that I can. I—I don’t want to rely on people anymore to make it through my work as the Avatar—to make it through my demons as Korra.”

“You know,” Mako sat down across from her on the small raft. “I never knew how badly you were hurt in that fight.” Korra gave him a sardonic look. “Okay I mean…I _know_ about the physical stuff, obviously. I was there and I…saw it.” He winced. “But the mental and emotional stuff. I never knew.”

Korra smiled tightly. “It’s because you weren’t there.” Mako frowned and looked away. “I’m not trying you feel bad, Mako. I’m not mad, it wasn’t fun to be around me back then, even for me.”

“Asami never hesitated.” He said factually and Korra remembered that first day on the bed when she fell asleep in Asami’s arms as Kya healed her back. That was the moment she realized she was in love with Asami. When the safety of those arms could tear away all of her fear and pain long enough to sleep and find even a moment of peace. No one else could offer that to her. “Judging by your lack of news I assume the date didn’t’ go well?”

She set a strong glare in his direction and he grimaced. Korra broke off into a soft smile. “That’s the last time I take advice from you.”

“Hey,” Mako held up his arms in defense. “I haven’t dated anyone in three years and the two girls I _did_ date fell in love with each other. What do I know?”

“What do any of us know.” Korra licked her lips and took another deep breath. “It doesn’t matter right now anyway. I need to get through this and keep working on me.”

They were quiet for a moment and Korra could see the approaching pathway towards the rock prison in the distance. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and found herself thinking of Suki and how she wanted to go home after this and hold her, tell her she loved her. Asami too, even if Asami didn’t say it back she just needed them to know.

“Hey,” Mako was suddenly standing over her with his arm reaching out. She took it and rose to her feet in front of him. “For what it’s worth, you’re the only person I know who could have gone through what you did three years ago and be standing _here_ right now.” He smiled. “You’ll get through this, Korra. All of it.”

As the small boat stopped, Korra wrapped her arms around Mako and hugged him. She felt his hands gently touch around her waist and felt peace in knowing that their friendship would be okay—despite everything. “Thank you.” When she pulled away, Korra stared at the large, stone doorway that was flattened into the mountainside.

_You can do this._


	9. Repairs - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear of the future helps Asami take control of the present.

Korra opened her eyes and was once again face to face with Zaheer. She could feel the energy of Raava’s spirit flowing through her. It was the most complete she’d felt in years, as if she could cover the sky with clouds and move the ocean water at will. She was connected to the world, both physical and spiritual; her body was practically humming with energy.

Still, it was hard to stare into the eyes of the same man who had hurt her so much. She couldn’t help but see his face and remember the feeling of her body being thrown from rock to rock, bones breaking and skin tearing. The feeling of her back crumpling, her legs suffering, her body ravaged with poison.

He was watching her, still chained and no longer floating. Korra rose to her feet and kept her eyes on him.

“Why?” She said and was unsure of what she was asking. So she let the question hang and waited to see what his response would be.

Zaheer blinked and spoke clearly. “Because your enemy goes against everything I stand for. Even further than you yourself. Kuvira aims to remove the most basic of freedoms. If the Red Lotus were still a power we would not stand for it.”

A part of her wanted to leave it at that, to turn around and walk away—but she couldn’t. Not yet. Instead she felt that familiar quiver in her hand and squeezed them both into fists. “Do you ever regret what you did to me?” She asked and saw his brows furrow at her question. “Do you ever feel any guilt for taking three years of my life away?”

His expression never changed. “No,” he said simply and Korra wanted to airbend him into the wall.

“No?” She growled at him. “You put me through so much, you cost me _so_ much and you don’t feel anything? Why help me then? Why do anything for me?”

“Because you’re taking this far too personally, Avatar. You could have been anyone. A girl from the southern water tribe, a boy from the Fire Nation, it wouldn’t have mattered. You are the Avatar. You represent everything that the Red Lotus is against. My mission was to end your life, that was the mission of the Red Lotus. I regret that you lived and I’m certain you suffered greatly, which was not our intention. We lost that battle, but the purpose of it did not end with our defeat.”

Korra tensed. “So…what? I should expect you to come after me again?”

Zaheer shook his head. “No, not me at least. I’ve fought this battle far too long, I’ve lost everything I had trying to kill you and all I have to show for it is this prison.” He didn’t seem sad—despite the words he spoke. If anything, he was what he said; defeated. “There’s no more fight left in me, but the Red Lotus may rise again.”

“I didn’t ask to be the Avatar. Me, Korra, I never asked for any of this, or for what you did to me.”

“I know,” he nodded. “You may not have asked for it, but you certainly didn’t run from it either.”

“So what? That makes it okay for people to want to kill me?”

He crossed his legs and suddenly was floating again. Korra strangely felt no unease in his bending skill. There was no fear and no threat left in this man in front of her. “The world wouldn’t need an Avatar if there weren’t threats to the balance you were born to protect. You need to understand that who you are makes you a target. If you assume every attack is personal and question _why_ they’re threatening you or the world you protect then you will leave yourself vulnerable.”

“I refuse to disconnect who I am from the spirit I have inside of me. Raava is _fused with_ me, she isn’t separate from me, nor is she all that I am.”

“I understand, but you cannot become lost in wondering why you have been hurt, why people choose to threaten you and challenge you. You should focus only on the fact that you are still here. With everything we did to you, the amount of poison in your body. I will never understand how you defeated us, Korra.” The way he said her name was different. It was almost said in awe and she felt strangely empowered—to hear the man she feared for so long speak her name with such conviction. “You are the Avatar, you will always have imbalances threatening you and the things you stand for. But I can say, having fed off and fought against you, that you can withstand anything and the role of the Avatar is safe, as long as it is in your hands. Korra’s hands.”

She stared at him for a moment before her feet started to move backwards towards the exit. Korra took a deep breath and thought of where she would be going after this—back to Air Temple Island. Where she could hold her daughter and play with Tenzin’s children. She could spend time with her friends and give Asami a hug and thank her for standing by her through the darkness, if nothing else.

That day on the mountains would stay with her for the rest of her life. The pain, the trauma and the mental aftershocks were something she had learned to carry, but today, standing in front of the man who hurt her, she knew she had won.

Korra turned her back to him and walked away.

\-----------------

“ _She’ll be fine, Asami. I saw to Zaheer’s prison myself._ ”

It had been nearly a full day and Asami had yet to see Korra. Since she found out after her meeting that she’d gone to see Zaheer with Mako, Asami had been a stressful mess. Though stressful might have been an understatement. She was terrified. Zaheer was more than just a monster, he was Korra’s nightmare, literally—the name she screamed in the night.

Asami understood needing closure, at some point she had assumed Korra would face that demon again. Except in all those visions of that day she was right there beside her.

Then again, maybe that was a part of the problem. She could only see Korra fighting battles with Asami by her side—battles that Korra needed to fight on her own.

“He broke out of prison once, Tonraq. I can’t just assume—“

“ _Asami,”_ his voice cut through her worried tone. “ _You have to trust her_.”

She sighed. “I do, it’s him I don’t trust.”

“Well,” she heard him grumble. “We feel the same way about that, but Korra is stronger again, is she not?”

Though it wasn’t his intention, Tonraq had just put the image of Korra’s incredibly toned body into her mind.

_You are talking to her father, Asami. Stop it._

“Yeah…yes, I mean…she looks wonderful—I mean…powerful. She’s…strong.” Asami finished lamely and put her head on the table at the sounds of Tonraq laughing. “Will you stop, it’s your daughter I’m shamelessly daydreaming over.”

_“It makes me feel better knowing you’re there to worry about her. Senna is doing what she can from here.”_

Asami smiled, knowing full well how much Senna worried for her daughter every single day. The life of being the mother of the Avatar. Even if Suki was just a baby and, as of now, carried no special purpose (though as the daughter of the Avatar Asami was ready for anything), she knew what motherly concern felt like.

“I’m not even sure if I have the right to worry about her.” Asami admitted as she looked out the window of the communications room on the island. She could see Rohan and Ikki playing with Suki as Pema watched over them. Her mind couldn’t help but wander to images of she and Korra playing with Suki together, as a family. The thought of getting swept up in the romance scared her, the thought of them being an actual family was…amazing.

“ _You have every right, Asami. She’s the mother of your child._ ”

“Yeah,” she closed her eyes and thought of Korra. She hoped Korra was okay, not having a panic attack over Zaheer or being manipulated into thinking she wasn’t good enough. Korra had come so far in the year she was gone, Asami would hate to see that destroyed. “I want her to hurry up and come back.” _To me_. She thought but didn’t feel worthy of saying it out loud.

“ _And then what?_ ” Tonraq asked and Asami knew he was pushing

She took a deep breath and answered as truthfully as she could. “Then we figure out what’s next.”

“ _Good, I’ll make sure I have time set aside for any sort of wedding ceremony.”_

Asami sighed dramatically with a smile on her face that she was glad he couldn’t see. “Tonraq—“

“ _Listen, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not rooting for the two of you. You’re by far my favorite of Korra’s romantic partners_.”

This made her frown. “She’s only had two.”

 _“My point exactly._ ” He said with a chuckle and just as Asami was about to say something, Ikki’s voice broke through the air.

“Korra’s back!” Asami stood up from her seat and heard Tonraq mention something about it being okay for her to go. She gave him a quick goodbye and sprinted outside to see what the damage was on Korra.

The first thing she saw was Korra’s broad back—that and the cute little head of Suki peeking up over her shoulder as she was held. Asami folded her hands in front of herself and waited to be noticed so she could ask a thousand questions. Ikki caught sight of her first and her gaze drew Korra’s back.

Every question Asami had abandoned her when Korra saw her. A brilliant smile was playing on her face. She looked as beautiful as Asami could ever remember.

“Hi,” Korra said as she adjusted Suki in her arms.

Asami opened her mouth to speak but only a stammering breathing came out. Korra raised a brow at her and Asami called up all her composure to talk to this damn woman in front of her. “Hi. You…you’re okay?”

She nodded firmly, still smiling and Asami exhaled for the first time all night. “I can meditate back into the Spirit World. I saved Jinora and the others…they should be home soon I kinda left them behind, I needed to get back and see—“ Korra’s words died on her lips and she focused on Suki. There were tears in her eyes but Asami could tell they were happy ones. She wanted to race over and wipe them away, to kiss her cheek and tell her how happy she was. More so than that, she wanted to rip Korra’s vest open and put her lips on every inch of Korra’s body.

_What is wrong with you?_

Asami knew she needed to get away from Korra. For a moment she wondered if it was something Avatar related, like some kind of mystical energy was drawing her to Korra. It felt primal, like she needed to pull Korra into a dark room and…

_Last time you felt this way you ended up with a child._

“I should get her home.” Asami blurted out and Korra looked up at her sadly. “I’m sorry…it’s late and she’s had a long day. We all have.” Korra’s smile was gone, replaced by unhappiness that Asami had put on her. It was too hard to see Korra so dejected—wanting to be around their daughter after what was clearly an agonizing day. “You want to come with us?” _What are you doing?_ Asami ignored her thoughts and held her smile even brighter.

Korra’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Really?”

“Sure, you can spend time with Suki. I’ll make us some dinner and set up the guest room for you.” Asami knew she wasn’t making sense. Twenty-four hours ago she had told Korra off after Korra had tried to set up a very similar night. Perhaps this was Asami’s way of mending the bridge. Besides, she mentioned the guest room and she was mostly doing it so Korra could spend the night with Suki.

_Keep telling yourself that, Sato._

“Oh—okay, I mean…if you’re sure?”

Asami smiled. “Of course. Go pack up a change of clothes.” As Korra handed Suki off to Asami and raced off to her room, she could feel the eyes of everyone who had gathered around her. She met Bumi’s smirk and glared at him. “What?”

“Make sure the kid’s asleep first.”

She was fairly certain her cheeks set on fire they were so hot. “ _Bumi!_ ” Asami cried and Kya smacked him across the back of the head—which only made him laugh. “This is about Korra spending time with her daughter.”

“I don’t understand.” Ikki said with a frown as she looked between the three adults.

Asami knelt down and tousled Ikki’s hair. “Your uncle is just making a really bad joke.”

“Your subtle pretext is the bad joke.” He teased and Asami suddenly wished she had her glove.

Before she could say anything in return, Korra was back with a small bag over her shoulder and a…glow.

“Ready?” She asked and Asami’s throat went dry.

_I’m about to make a mistake._

\---------------

It was awkward. Asami should have expected as much. Korra had transitioned well enough—she was perfectly content to sit on the couch with Suki in her arms. Asami had offered to make dinner, which was something she couldn’t actually do all that well. She’d settled on some noodles and warmed up vegetables from a recipe that Pema had taught her.

Truth be told, the evening wouldn’t be that bad if Asami could stop _noticing_ things about Korra. All those little things she’d noticed when they were scouring the Earth Kingdom searching for Red Lotus. The way Korra’s back pushed against the fabric of her vest. How her arms twitched when she curled Suki into her arm and the way she grined when they make eye contact. If Asami didn’t know Korra was trying her best to be nothing but a _friend_ , she’d swear the Avatar was egging her on.

Hunched over the stove, Asami grimaced as her stiff back acted up a bit. It had been a long day on her feet and then a long evening sitting around Air Temple Island waiting for Korra to come home. She was going on very little sleep and despite what Korra said, those sad beds on the island were not as comfy as her own.

“Hey,” Korra’s voice made Asami jump and she turned around to see Korra jump back a bit as well. “Sorry,” she said with a smile and her hands up. “Suki went down and the food smelled really good.”

Asami’s eyes narrowed. “She’s asleep?” Korra nodded and peeked over her shoulder at the noodles. When she met Asami’s eyes again she grinned. “Don’t get your hopes up. I make no promises.”

“They smell good.”

“The seasoning I poured all over them smells good. That has nothing to do with my cooking skill.”

Korra chuckled. “You’re good at everything.”

As Asami turned back to the food she felt a weight on her chest. Those words rang in her ears. _You’re good at everything_. It wasn’t true, she wasn’t good with Korra—or as Korra had put it—she wasn’t _enough_.

Moving the food away from the heat source, Asami turned around and saw Korra putting out plates on the counter. It was wonderfully domestic and felt so intimate—just the two of them. She took a deep breath and willed up her courage. She needed to know.

“When did you decide to leave?”

Korra froze, a plate held in the air, and she looked into Asami’s eyes. “What?”

Asami held her gaze. “When did you know you were going to leave?”

“Asami—“

“Korra,” Asami started softly. “I’m not looking to fight. But we need to have this conversation and you know it.” Korra exhaled softly and put the plate down. “No hostility, just curiosity. You know me.” She held a hint of playfulness in her voice and appreciated the pull of a grin on Korra’s lips.

“That night after the whole Tenzin thing fell through. In Naga’s stable.” Asami was genuinely surprised.

“That long?”

Korra shrugged. “It wasn’t an easy decision, Asami. I struggled with it for a long time.” She turned suddenly shy and looked away. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“I know.”

“I still did though,” Korra said and Asami saw her frown. “I’m sorry.”

Seeing Korra apologize felt wrong. When she first saw Korra after that year she stood so much taller. She was a different person—more complete. As if all the scars of the past had hardened her and made her more capable of carrying the extra weight of her wounds _._ “Don’t be.” She said and was surprised at how strongly the words came out. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Korra. I was mad and I was sad and at the time it hurt but…look at you.” Korra hugged herself slightly and flushed. Asami was reminded again of how beautiful she was. “You’re the Avatar again. Better, stronger and sturdier than before. You did that, all on your own. I’m so proud of you, Korra.”

There were tears in Korra’s eyes and she gently wiped them away. “Thank you,” she whispered and chewed on her bottom lip. “I wouldn’t have had the chance to get there if you hadn’t been there when things were bad. I’m still here because of you, Asami. In those early days after Zaheer I—you kept my head above water. I love you so much for that.”

"It was," Asami had more she needed to say. “It was selfish of me to think that our relationship was enough. You weren’t born _just_ to be with me. You’re born to be so much more and I know how important that is to you.”

“I was still wrong not to talk to you about it.”

She wouldn’t deny that. “Maybe, but we were both working without instructions back then. I’d never dated an Avatar before.” This made Korra laugh and Asami enjoyed the sound. “There are parts of your life that I’ll never fully understand and at the time I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t see past the fact that you were slipping away from me because I’m not equipped to help you.”

The words seemed to weigh heavy on Korra. She was quiet for a long while, her hands wringing together. “It’s scary,” Korra whispered and Asami waited for her to continue. “So much of what I do as the Avatar is just guesswork. Tenzin helps when he can but the world looks to me for guidance and security. I’m supposed to maintain balance and being so out of balance after Zaheer I just…I was lost. I couldn’t help anyone; I couldn’t help myself. It was awful and it was probably not the best time to fall in love.” She smiled despite her words and Asami took that as a sign that she didn’t regret it—just wished it could have happened at a better time.

“It happened though,” Korra grinned at Asami’s words. “Despite everything, Korra. I don’t regret it. I know I wasn’t what you needed but I don’t regret being there with you.”

Tears hung on the brim of Korra’s eyelids and she was clearly fighting them. “I left to reclaim my Avatar spirit but I also left to try and be a better person…for you, for us. I didn’t want our relationship to be built only on my recovery.”

Asami couldn’t hold still any longer, she stepped forward and wrapped Korra up in a tight hug and felt a pair of strong hands cling to her back. She wasn’t sure how long they held one another but it felt like everything that hurt between them poured away in that moment. The last three years had been so impactful and important, to both of them. It shaped who they were as a couple and as individuals. Now here they were, Asami with her company flourishing again, Korra as strong as ever, they had a baby and with Kuvira threatening their safety Asami wanted to latch onto everything that mattered to her.

Pulling away, she saw the tears streaking down Korra’s face and reached up to brush them. The first one she found had stilled on Korra’s bottom lip. Her thumb traced over it and the soft skin sunk beneath her touch. Korra’s breath hitched at the contact and Asami ran her thumb back and forth slowly.

“I thought you didn’t want this.” Korra asked, clearly sensing the vibe Asami was certainly giving off at the lingering contact. “I thought—“

Asami’s other hand found the opening of Korra’s vest and she traced a finger over it. “I need you, Korra.” The vest popped open and Korra swallowed thickly as it started to fall open.

The desire building up in Asami’s body was overwhelming. They were so close and this night had been so emotional, ending with them together—like it always did.

Just as Asami’s hand touched Korra’s bare skin, the Avatar grabbed her wrist. “Wait.” Asami looked up at her worriedly. Korra laced their fingers together. “I don’t want…just sex, Asami. I used that way too much before. Sex to distract, I just…what is this?”

_Give in, Asami. She’s here now, after Zaheer she almost wasn’t. After Kuvira, she may not be, you may not be. Stop hiding._

“This is me…saying that I still love you and life is too short to pretend I don’t need you.”

A smile broke across Korra’s face as she started to cry again and their foreheads touched. They kissed and it was like the explosion of a Satomobile engine. The crackle of fire and the hum of the engine. Every nerve in Asami’s body burned as Korra’s soft hands ran up into her hair.

When they kiss broke, Asami was breathless and Korra scooped her up by the legs and sat her on the counter—their dinner long forgotten. “I can’t promise you a perfect future, Asami. I—I’m the Avatar. My destiny isn’t—“

“I know,” Asami silenced her with a finger across her lips. “I don’t need promises, Korra. I know what I’m getting into and I know how hard it can be, I’ve seen it. There’s no guarantee with you, there’s no way you can _only_ be with me—you have your duty and I support that, all of it. I have to if this family is going to be together. If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting you.”

Korra kissed her forehead as her fingers fumbled with the button of Asami’s pants. “Let me do the same?” She asked as the snap opened.

Asami closed her eyes. “Always.”

"We still have so much we need to talk about."

“We do,” Asami agreed as her palm laid across Korra’s collarbone. “We will, we’ll figure it all out but right now…Korra…it’s been a long year.”

They kissed again and this time it was meant to bring the moment back to physicality. Asami’s hands were inside of Korra’s vest and exploring every familiar inch they could find. Like a painter touching the canvas for the first time in months, wanting to relearn the perfect pressure for each stroke.

To her credit, Korra used her strength to both hold Asami up with one hand, and pull her pants down with the other. It was both efficient and incredibly sexy.

Still, Asami had wanted this from the moment Korra came back to the island. She was the one who had been hyper aware of Korra’s presence and she _needed_ to get through this first wave of desire.

“Floor,” Asami said as she hopped off the counter and shed her jacket—throwing it blindly to the floor. “Did you put Suki in her room?”

Korra nodded between kisses, laying down as Asami settled over her. “Door’s open so don’t make too much noise.”

“You’re the one who had to bite my hand so your parents wouldn’t hear you scream.” Asami reminded before pulling at Korra’s lip with her teeth. Korra only smirked before lifting her knee up between Asami’s bare legs and applying a little pressure. “F— _fuck_.” Asami moaned and noted the triumphant look in Korra’s eyes. Instead of a witty return, Asami kissed down Korra’s stomach, the vest splayed across the floor underneath her. “Wait, I’m not going to get pregnant am I?”

Korra pulled back and smirked at her. “Asami, your home is amazing but I wouldn’t compare it to the Spirit Oasis.”

Asami sent her a glare and Korra only grinned wider.

Impatience was the order of the day because Asami couldn’t even be bothered to remove Korra’s pants completely. Instead she stopped just past Korra’s knees and maneuvered her leg between Korra’s open legs so she could press her knee in return to that place Korra’s had been a moment before.

“You’re quite flexible, Ms. Sato.” Korra teased and Asami kissed her hard. When she broke away, Korra was dazed and Asami’s knee was suddenly doing it’s work because Korra’s mouth hung open. “Oh…oh…right—Asami.”

She pulled her knee back and replaced it with her hand. Touching Korra’s body was like muscle memory. Much like her fight training, when she needed it, she knew exactly what to do and this was more of the same. She dipped and stroked in all the right places as Korra started to unravel beneath her

Her hips rotated with the careful ministrations of Asami’s hand and when she combined that with her lips wrapped around Korra’s breast, it was more than enough. Korra came hard and Asami wondered how long it had been for her because she nearly pulled Asami’s hair out as she rode the waves of her orgasm. Korra’s back lifted off the floor and she seethed out a scream between her teeth

When she fell back down to earth, Asami watched her features soften and her eyes flutter open, staring at the ceiling while her chest rose and fell. Asami pulled her hand away laid it across Korra’s taut stomach before kissing her again.

“Wow,” Korra gasped and Asami kissed her nose and both of her now closed eyes.

“Yeah?”

Korra nodded. “Wow.”

After a few moments, Asami felt Korra’s legs kicking and looked down to see that she was pushing her sweats off the rest of the way. Once they were gone, she stretched her legs out and grabbed Asami by the shoulders. A heartbeat later, Asami was on her back and Korra was hovering over her.

Short, brown hair fell over her face and Asami reached up to run a hand through it. “I love your hair, by the way.”

“Well,” Korra smiled. “I thought it was time for a new look. Not quite as snazzy as you.”

Asami laughed breathlessly and her heart swelled with love. “I missed you.”

“I’m here now.” Korra said and Asami fought away every bit of doubt in her mind. Their future would always be uncertain, but right now they had each other and that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time coming. They have more they need to work on, but I wanted them to have this. We're winding down. Maybe it's rushed or even out of nowhere, but it felt natural. Like Asami woke up and realized she didn't want to be afraid anymore. Everyone might not like it, but I'm happy with how this chapter went and where they're heading.


	10. Reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra and Asami needed a day.

Korra covered a laugh as she watched Asami quickly tiptoe across the living room towards her. Her naked body was shaded in the darkness of the early morning hours and Korra quickly pulled the blanket back for her to slip in.

“She’s still asleep, Naga’s officially on duty.” Asami said as she curled up next to Korra who put an arm around her. “Season’s changing—the nights are getting colder.”

It was true, Korra had felt the weather starting to turn a week earlier. She’d always had a good sense of the changing climate. Being able to bend the elements also meant she was in touch with them. The air was cooler, the temperature would be dropping and soon enough there would be snow in the city again.

“Does Suki have a winter jacket?” Korra asked casually; as if she were thinking out loud.

Asami snorted. “Korra, Suki has an outfit for everything. You know I love shopping.” With a grin, Korra nodded. “Well baby shopping is even better. I have outfits for that girl planned five years in advance.”

“This does not surprise me.” Korra put a hand on Asami’s knee and loved that she was here again—able to just reach out and touch Asami whenever she wanted. Not only that, but Asami’s hands had been all over her all night. The mutual desire made her feel so much more confident. Korra had been so resistant to touch over the last year and had been without it for so long, that the feeling of Asami’s hands were like medicine. “So…can I ask what it was like? When she was born?”

“Korra,” Asami grabbed her hand under the blanket. “You can ask me anything you want. This is what we’re doing, right? Talking, being open and honest. What do you want to know?”

A flash of guilt washed over her. It was a feeling she worried might never fully go away. “Were you scared?”

Asami nodded slightly. “Yes definitely, but I had _so_ much support. I gave birth to her on the island and Pema was with me, your parents were there too. Tenzin and their kids…so many people. It was scary but I was never alone.”

“Did it hurt?” As she asked, Korra held Asami’s hand a little tighter, stroking the back of it with her thumb—as if this could take away any past pain.

“It did, but Pema had some herbs and breathing exercises that helped. She’s practiced when it comes to pushing out babies.” Korra smiled despite the heaviness in her chest and laid her head on Asami’s shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about not being here, Korra. I know you would have been if you knew.”

Leave it to Asami to read her mind. “It’s just sad…I’ll never get that moment back. I’ll never be able to see my daughter come into the world. I still…can’t believe I have a daughter sometimes. I still feel so young.”

“We _are_ young, Korra. Suki is my whole world but she was not a part of my plan.” At some point, Korra’s hand had found it’s way to Asami’s toned stomach and she closed her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have been so careless with you at the Spirit Oasis.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen—and if I remember right _I_ was the one who started it.”

Korra laughed softly. “True, but still I was in such a weird place spiritually and…this Avatar stuff can be unpredictable. I felt different and I had put that powerful spirit water all over my body. The energy and my inner spirit must have just…created life inside of you. I don’t know. Tenzin could probably explain it better.”

“No,” Asami said matter-of-factly and Korra looked up at her curiously. “He can’t. I asked him, rather aggressively when I showed up five months pregnant and cranky. He was as baffled as I was.” Asami cleared her throat and began to stroke a fake beard—channeling her inner Tenzin. “Two women cannot naturally conceive a child, Asami. It’s not possible!” She was mimicking Tenzin’s voice and expressions and Korra found herself fighting off giggles as she fell even more in love. Her natural voice returned as she continued. “I told him that you turned yourself into a giant blue spirit and somehow getting me _pregnant_ was too far fetched. The Avatar doesn’t come with a rule book.”

“Well,” Korra shrugged. “The big blue spirit thing was pretty awesome.”

Asami shook her head with a sigh before she reached down and touched Korra’s hand on her stomach. The movements stilled and Korra looked up into Asami’s eyes. There was barely enough light from the moon outside to illuminate her face. Still, Asami was the most beautiful person in the world to Korra. The year apart had been spent building up this ideal memory of Asami in her mind. Then when she saw her again in that restaurant, the ideal was nothing compared to the real thing.

“Can I kiss you?” Korra asked even as she started to lean in.

“Your mouth has been all over my body tonight, Korra.” Asami said with a brow raised. “Yes, you can kiss me.”

The kiss was soft and slow, like sap pouring down a tree. When Korra pulled back for air, she swallowed the thick lump in her throat and slid her hand up to brush her fingertip over Asami’s breast. “I missed you,” Korra kissed her cheek. “I thought about you so much.” She then kissed her jawline and trailed it down her neck. “Thought about this. Touching you again, feeling you…making you cry out my name.”

“Oh?” Asami asked breathily and Korra nodded into her neck. “You’re quite confident in your ability to do that, aren’t you?”

Korra took that as a challenge and hooked her hand on Asami’s thigh. In one, swift motion she pulled Asami onto her lap and reached down with a free hand between them and found body ready and waiting for her.

She kept her strokes deliberate and used her other arm to cradle Asami against her. Eventually Korra didn’t have to move her hand because Asami had started to roll her hips against Korra’s fingers as she filled the air around them with soft whispers of bliss.

“Oh, oh, oh.” Asami cooed and Korra could feel fingers digging into her biceps as Asami held onto her. “Korra, bring your finger…up…just a little.” Korra did as directed and she felt Asami start to push against her palm and the speed of her movements started to increase.

Watching Asami on top of her, sweat beading down her forehead and her mouth hanging open—Korra was mesmerized. She leaned up and kissed Asami’s neck before gently biting her. The slightest sensation of her teeth proved to be enough and Asami came in a flurry, her leg kicking as Korra used her strength to hold them upright.

“Asami,” Korra whispered before kissing the spot she’d bitten. “Asami…Asami.” She repeated, enjoying the sound of the name on her tongue. When Asami went limp above her, Korra pulled the blanket over them and held Asami tight. “We should sleep.”

Asami nodded against her sluggishly. “M’calling in sick tomorrow. We need a day.”

“We do,” Korra said with a smile before kissing Asami’s cheek. “You and me day tomorrow. We’ll figure out where we’re at.”

“I’m not letting you go again,” Asami mumbled, wrapping her arms around Korra’s shoulders.

Eventually Korra drifted off to the sounds of Asami breathing on top of her.

\------------

“It looks good on you,” Asami said as she watched Korra saunter to the counter wearing nothing but Asami’s jacket and lean on her elbows to smell the tea floating through the air. “Don’t rip the sleeves though, okay?”

Korra chuckled. “My arms aren’t _that_ big.” Asami raised a brow and Korra blushed a little. “What?”

“Your arms are pretty big.”

“Will you stop,” Korra returned shyly and Asami could see her fighting off a grin. “They were bigger when I was younger. I grew into them.”

Asami suddenly remembered having those arms wrapped around her. “Well they certainly carry the same… _power_.” Asami could feel that familiar tingling in her skin and forced herself to fight it off. They’d spent last night and most of this morning tangled up in each other. They needed at least a few hours to settle down. “Just…at least button it up though. I mean I’m trying to have my tea, Korra.”

The Avatar let out a beautiful laugh and closed up the front buttons of Asami’s jacket before taking a seat at the counter. It was nice to have Korra in the house. In a lot of ways, it was a dream scenario she’d spent weeks denying she wanted.

A sudden cry from the other room drew both of their attentions to the hallway.

“Little one is up,” Asami said as she turned to check the clock. “She’s probably hungry.”

Korra looked back at her with an eyebrow raised playfully. “Does that mean you’re going to take your boobs out?”

“ _Korra!_ ” She growled and it only made Korra laugh harder.

“I’ll go get her,” Korra said as she stood up and walked into the hallway, her bare legs spilling out from under Asami’s jacket sexily.

“Damn her,” Asami cursed before finishing her tea and sorting through her kitchen to warm up some saved breakfast for Suki. She wasn’t about to remove anymore clothing around Korra right now. If anything, she’d make the Avatar put some pants on.

Asami could tease but the truth was, this was all she wanted and Korra’s playful nature was a part of the girl she’d fell for long before the Red Lotus. There were so many aspects of Korra’s personality that Asami loved. Korra’s power was never in question and Asami had her moments of awe at that strength. Still, there was the playful side and the romantic side—Asami could remember being surprised at how gentle Korra was behind all that muscle.

She also remembered how fragile she’d been after Zaheer, to see Korra standing to strong and confident now was all she’d ever dreamed about when they were together in the South. It was here for her now and she was going to do everything she could to make it work.

When Korra returned a moment later with a tiny bundle of Suki in her arms, Asami smiled brightly at the vision of momma Korra. She was always glowing around Suki, it was something Asami noticed the first time Korra looked at her daughter and it hadn’t wavered one bit.

“I have to say, Asami. Even if Suki wasn’t intentional, you and I made a pretty gorgeous kid.”

Asami chuckled. “We did, she’s a spoiled brat though.”

“Oh well that’s okay,” Korra said in a squeaky voice. “That’s okay, she deserves the world, yes she does.” Korra brushed her fingers over Suki’s tummy and she kicked and giggled. “I just…I think about her all the time, it’s ridiculous. I want to be around her all the time.”

“Yeah that doesn’t go away either. I bring her to work sometimes just because I like having her there.” Asami looked down as Korra moved back to the counter and saw that Naga had followed them out. She trotted around the counter next to Asami and sat with her ears back and eyes wide. “Oh are you hungry?” Naga huffed and pressed her nose into Asami’s hip. “We might be her biological parents, but this one right here thinks she is the alpha mom.”

Korra smirked. “Naga is very protective. It’s good though, Naga’s job from now on will be taking care of this little girl.”

Without even asking, Asami handed the bottle over to Korra and let her feed Suki.

They were quiet for a while as Korra fed their daughter. Asami picked up a few things and cleaned up around the house. When Suki’s meal was finished Asami brought Korra a pair of pants and made her put them on, much to Korra’s dismay.

By the time Suki and Korra were sitting on the floor playing with blocks, a heavy cover of clouds had moved in and there was lighting shooting down from the sky.

“Uh oh,” Asami said mischievously as she sat down across Korra who was holding up blocks for Suki to choose from.

Korra gave her a threatening glare. “I’m fine.”

“Oh? Have you overcome your fear of thunder and lightning then?”

When a crack of thunder emitted outside, Korra jumped and Asami giggled at her. “Alright, so maybe I haven’t but this is internal avatar stuff. I can’t control it!”

Asami sighed and scooted a little closer. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

“It’s Suki I’m worried about.” Korra said with a pout.

“Uh huh.” Korra stuck her tongue out and Asami was about to say something in return when another crack of thunder struck and Korra’s reaction knocked over Suki’s blocks. “You are hopeless, Avatar.” Asami teased while restacking the blocks. “Couldn’t you just go into the Avatar state and airbend the clouds away?”

“I’m not a weather bender, Asami.”

As the rain continued to pour, Asami saw a shift in Korra’s demeanor and she gave her a more serious look. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Korra nodded slightly. “Just…thinking about our last night together.” Asami noticed the way Korra held Suki a little tighter in her lap. “I never told you but…I had…visions while I was recovering from my injuries.”

“Visions?” Asami asked and could only imagine it was some kind of Avatar dream. Like when she spoke to Aang years ago. “Like past Avatars?”

“No,” Korra shook her head. “Like…I saw myself—or how I looked that day on the mountain. I was trapped in the Avatar state and it was just haunting me. If I ever felt like I was feeling better or…if I was happy, it would show up to remind me of how broken I was.”

“Korra,” Asami whispered and so many things started to make sense in her mind. The way Korra’s mood could change so quickly and how she would stop and stare out into nothing and suddenly want to go to her room and get away from everyone. “Do you—are you…” Asami groaned at her own indecision and pushed forward. “Do you still see it?”

“Sometimes,” Korra shrugged. “I thought that when I got the poison out and regained control of the Avatar state it would be okay but…when I was fighting Kuvira and went into the Avatar state to stop her, it came back… _through_ her. She was me and those eyes were staring back at me.” Korra’s voice was shaky as she spoke and Asami couldn’t scoot any closer. “I don’t know if it will ever go away. It might just be something I have to live with. It hasn’t happened in a long time but I thought I was over it _before_ Kuvira so—I don’t know.”

Even being as close to it as Asami was, she realized now that what Korra went through was so much harder. Which made what she overcome even greater. To be here now with Korra and to see her holding her daughter and smiling despite it all was amazing.

Tears sprung to Asami’s eyes as she took Korra’s free hand and squeezed it. “Thank you for telling. I—I had no idea.”

“Nobody did,” Korra said sadly. “I was afraid…I was afraid people might think I was unfit to be the Avatar or even be…myself.”

“Korra, you’ve been through so much. I was there…I saw how much they hurt you and I remember everything. When you…wet the bed,” Korra cringed. “When you couldn’t roll over or bathe yourself and you _never_ gave up. You might have thought about it; you might have had moments of weakness—I know you did. But you fought and you—“ a sob caught in Asami’s throat and as a tear rolled down her cheek, Korra was there to wipe it away. “You’re amazing.” She held her tongue for a moment, wanting Korra to focus on her as she spoke. When their eyes met, Asami held Korra’s hand with both her own. “You’re my hero, Korra.”

When Korra kissed her again, she felt like her entire world had righted itself again.

\------------------

Asami hummed as her head fell back against the wall. What had started as a simple trip to check on Suki had turned into being pressed against the wall with Korra’s head between her legs. So much passion burned between them and it had the entire day. A year apart and the built up emotion was overflowing into a need to _be_ with each other as much as possible. Suki was taking her afternoon nap when Asami had went to check on her, she turned around after seeing their daughter asleep only to find Korra lurking behind her.

One kiss led to another and suddenly Asami’s pants were gone and one of her legs was thrown over Korra’s shoulder. They were still close to the door and Asami was trying to keep her moans as quiet as possible. Korra had not forgotten a single thing from their previous time together, if anything, she had seemingly gotten better. Her pace was precise and she hit every sweet spot. Asami could feel every lap of her tongue and pull of lips. It was driving her mad and when Korra would occasionally reach up and slide her hands under Asami’s shirt to grab her breasts, she thought she might fall over.

As her climax started to bubble in her stomach, Asami clutched onto Korra’s head and felt her pull back just a bit. Looking down, she saw those familiar blue eyes staring up at her and Asami swallowed the lump in her throat. It was the sexiest thing she had ever seen and the way Korra stared at her—the intensity in her eyes—was breathtaking. Not a word was spoken when Korra dove back in and it was only a minute later that Asami was bucking against Korra’s mouth as a pair of strong hands held her hips still.

When Korra stood up, she used her strength to lift Asami and guide her legs around her waist. They kissed again—messy and wonderful and Asami tilted her head so Korra could lavish attention to her neck and collarbone. Suddenly they were moving and Asami held onto Korra’s neck as her back suddenly pressed into a slightly open door.

It was her bedroom and before she could even speak again she was tossed onto the bed and gasped as she bounced. Sitting up, Asami watched Korra shed her own clothing before climbing on top of her and kissing her again.

Asami wanted it all, she wanted to feel every inch of Korra and her hands moved wherever they could. She ran them up and down Korra’s back, feeling the power of the muscles and the smoothness of her skin. Korra’s body was amazing—Asami had never been able to compare anything to it. How it was so solid, yet soft and inviting—and warm…always warm. The perfect form in every sense of the word, one Asami felt lucky to be able to explore and desperate to protect. She had missed her so much, thought of her so much and to be here now almost felt surreal. Like she might roll over and wake up alone again or with only Naga beside her.

Fearing this, she clutched her hands into Korra’s shoulders and pushed her up. The concerned look on Korra’s face was only worrisome for a moment.

“I want—“ Asami’s throat caught as her breathing quickened, they were both panting. “Move up, it’s your turn.”

“But—“

Asami grabbed Korra’s hips and started to pull. “Are you really arguing?”

Korra chuckled and moved so that she was straddling above Asami’s face. Slowly, Korra lowered herself down and Asami reached up to part Korra’s lips. She could see her grabbing onto the headboard to stay balanced as Asami started to do her work.

Accuracy was Asami’s specialty and she knew how to manipulate Korra’s body just right to make her feel good. She varied her pace and switched back and forth from long strokes to quick flicks of her tongue. Her fingers would dip in and out on occasion because she knew Korra liked that.

Once she felt the hips above her start rocking back and forth, Asami knew she was hitting all the right spots. Unlike Asami, Korra was not as good at keeping her voice in check and soon her moans were filling the bedroom as Asami felt a hand dig into her hair.

“Uh, Asami…right…don’t stop. Faster, just a little...f—f—fast—ah!”

Asami tried to match the pumping of her fingers with the movement of her lips and when she felt Korra squeeze her hair she knew it was almost over. When Korra came, she harshly shook above her and Asami was quick to help Korra from falling over. Soon enough she cradled Korra in her arms and dropped her hand back down to help her ride the rest of the orgasm out. There was another bite into her shoulder and Asami hissed at the contact but it only drove her to hold Korra tighter.

After another minute passed, Asami stilled and Korra was breathing heavily into her neck.

“S—sorry. You’re bleeding.”

Asami chuckled. “S’okay.”

Korra reached up and put her hand over where she’d bitten. “I’ll heal it,” Korra breathed and when Asami met her eyes again Korra’s entire face was flushed. “That was amazing. I haven’t…never like that. I keep biting you.”

“I noticed.” Asami teased. “You seemed to have marked me.” She said as she eyed her shoulder that was only trickling with a bit of blood.

“I just…that was—“

Asami shook her head. “It’s fine, really. It’s kind of sexy actually.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know I could still bring that out of you.”

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and this was just pure fluff but I though it was needed. The ending of this story has fluctuated lately, but it is coming. There's a few more chapters left. I thought I could get it all out in one big epilogue but that would be rushing it. So here's this and more coming soon. I'm gonna work on finishing this up. Top priority. I hope you enjoyed.


	11. Family - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the threat of Kuvira draws ever closer, Asami makes a decision about her family.

Korra was awoken by the sounds of clicking and a few soft sighs that followed. The sun was bright. Shining in her eyes as she rolled over in bed to find Asami, only to be met with an empty warmth. Korra sat up with a pout, listening as the clicking and rustling grew louder. With one eye open, Korra ran a hand through her hair and caught a glimpse of Asami sitting up on the far side of the bedroom. She had brought in a stool from the kitchen, Suki’s crib had been pulled into the room and Asami had something on the table in front of her.

She was wearing gloves and work goggles which looked weird compared to her pink robe and slippers, but Korra couldn’t help but find it adorable. Instead of interrupting, she watched Asami for a moment and relished in the fact that she was here again to watch after everything they’d been through.

Over the top of the crib, Korra could see Suki sleeping peacefully despite the noise and it made her smile. Korra had never fallen in love so fast—not with Mako or Asami or anything else. Suki was precious and important. She made Korra feel hopeful about the future, made her want to work twice as hard to get through each day unscathed because then she could come home and be with her daughter. It was unexpected and unplanned but the idea of Suki _not_ being a part of her life now was unthinkable. 

Which made the growing and impending threat of Kuvira all the worse. They were going to be making their move soon. Team Avatar had talked about going on the offensive and would discuss it further today. Korra knew the chances were strong that they would be hunting Kuvira—whether Lin, Tenzin and the rest liked it or not.

Tired of waiting, Korra moved slightly and swung her legs over the bed. The soft creak it made grabbed Asami’s attention.

“Oh, sorry…I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Korra waved her off. “You didn’t. What are you doing?”

Asami shrugged and returned to her work. “Had this idea for a while and decided to work on it since I couldn’t sleep.”

“What idea?” Korra asked as she stood up and moved to stand behind Asami. “And why couldn’t you sleep?”

“Well, when Suki’s in her crib she really enjoys it when I hold her toys up for her. So she can see them and touch them. But I can’t do that forever and sometimes it takes her a while to settle down enough to sleep. So I thought—“ she then lifted the item she’d been working on and held it out for Korra to see. It was a steel rod that had been bent in an “L” shape and from one end was a series of strings that held various small balls. Asami shook it once and Korra heard it jingle.

“Bells?”

Asami grinned. “Yep. She loves playing with my Satomobile keys but it’s not safe. I think it’s just the sound she likes. So now with this, it will hang above her crib and she can reach them, make them spin and they’ll make noise.” She shrugged. “Hopefully it’ll help her relax and sleep.”

"I forget sometimes how awesome you are.” Korra said as she shook her head in awe.

“I’m not sure this qualifies as awesome.”

“I bet Suki will think so.”

Glancing out the window, Korra noted that the sun was still not up entirely and Asami had already been working on this. Having known Asami as long as Korra had, it was almost certain she’d had this idea for a while. Asami had many ideas every single day, sometimes more than she could handle. Korra could remember the stacks of notes that were scattered all over their room in the south just filled with ideas. At the time they were more like letters of guilt, reminding Korra of what she was keeping Asami from.

It was silly to dwell on that now. Things were better—they were better. Korra felt no doubt when she looked at Asami. She wasn’t holding her back from anything and she was healed enough to be there for her. The future was in jeopardy, and Korra had told Asami as much when they decided to start over. But right now, everything was good and Korra was happy. Sedate in the bedroom with this brilliant woman she’d fallen in love with.

Who was up awfully early.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

With a sigh, Asami sat down her project quietly and stared at Suki who was fast asleep in her crib. Instead of answering directly, Asami picked up another piece of metal and started to measure it.

“I’m nervous about my dad and…I worry you’re not totally happy with it.”

Korra reached around Asami’s waist and grabbed hold of the metal she was measuring. She carefully took it from her and sat it down. “Asami, it’s okay. I’m not unhappy—I trust your judgment and I know you wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t something you really wanted.”

“Yeah but Korra we don’t owe him anything. _You_ certainly don’t.” Asami turned in Korra’s arms and leaned against the dresser. “Should we move this into the other room? Away from Suki?” Korra nodded and grabbed Asami by the hand before guiding her from the bedroom to the adjoined bathroom.

They stepped inside the bathroom and Korra partially closed the door.

“Okay, talk to me. I thought things with you and your dad had been going well?”

Asami lowered her head. “They have but I’ve kept him at a distance. I mean…I told him about you but not that you’re back and I haven’t seen him since we started…this again. Not that it matters it’s just…Suki’s different. She changes a lot and him knowing her is not just my decision.”

“Asami, you know I’m okay with it. You’ll be there and if you’ve said he’s changed than I believe you. He’s your father, your family and I know how important that is to you. Despite everything—it makes sense that he meets her and know her. More importantly, I think it’s good that she knows him. Keeping things from Suki is not something I want to do.”

“Me either,” Asami said with a smile. “Thank you, Korra. I’ll probably take her this afternoon. Are you and Mako still going to go talk to Tenzin?” Korra chewed on her bottom lip. “What?”

“Well…we were thinking about talking to…Bumi.”

“Uh…why?”

Korra shrugged. “He used to be in the military, he knows strategy, maybe he can help us decide if going after Kuvira is the right idea.”

“Do you think we should?” Asami asked.

“Honestly? Yes. It is a lot better than sitting around _waiting_ for her to attack. We’re taking precautionary measures, trying to evacuate as many people as we can from the city is the right call but then what? We just keep running from her. Give up the city? We can’t do that. We need to go on the offensive.”

She felt a hand fall across her shoulder and looked up into the supportive eyes staring back at her. “I agree,” Asami said. “It doesn’t do us any good to run. They say we need to wait and be more prepared but…wait for what? We’ve got all the ammunition we’re ever going to have right now.”

“Exactly!” Korra cried a bit too loudly, causing her to wince. “Sorry, but you’re right. If anything, us going _after_ Kuvira will give us the element of surprise which can only work in our advantage.” A sudden weight settled into Korra’s chest and Asami’s hand on her shoulder tightened.

“What’s wrong?”

Korra sighed. “I just…we have to do this, Asami. If we wait and people get hurt, I just—Kuvira is my fault. I was gone and she—“

“Korra,” Asami cut her off. “Kuvira’s push for power is _not_ your fault. You were recovering and you had every right to. Your body and your mind were damaged and you battled through it. The world should have been able to take care of itself for three years while you took time to heal.”

“I know, but if it wasn’t for everything with Unalaq then Zaheer never would have _had_ airbending in the first place. And I just—“

“Korra,” Asami slowed her again with a hand on her cheek. “We’ve talked about this. I know Harmonic Convergence brought Zaheer into our lives, but it also did so much for the air nation. That, more so than your suffering, is the legacy you have right now. It’s why your statue stands in the city.”

“Well that and _you_.” Korra teased with a smirk.

Asami chuckled. “True enough—but still, the state of the world is not your fault. This world is currently _not_ suffering through a thousand years of darkness _because_ of you. The Red Lotus does not have its chaos because _you_ stood up and fought through…” Korra saw the redness forming in Asami’s eyes. “You fought through so much pain and…continue to fight and are so strong and I just…Korra you’re amazing.”

Stepping forward, Korra wrapped Asami up in her arms and held her close. They stood that way for a few silent moments—carefully rocking back and forth.

“I wouldn’t have done it without you. Not after Zaheer, I know I’ve said that before too and this is all just…repeating itself but…I need you, Asami—and I’m completely okay with admitting that.”

“Good,” Asami said as she pulled away and held Korra at arms length. “Because I need you too, and we’re going to get through this. We’ve gotten this far…one crazy dictator isn’t going to stop us.”

Closing her eyes, Korra nodded and tried to find her confidence. “What about Suki?” She asked and saw the curiosity in Asami’s face. “If—when we go after Kuvira, what are we going to do with her?” There was the question in the air, but beyond that there was the answer Korra already had in her mind. She wanted to say it aloud, to voice her fears and her ideal, but she knew it wouldn’t go over well.

When Asami held her glance a moment too long, Korra knew that she was a step ahead of her.

“I’m not letting you go alone.”

Korra lowered her head. “I wasn’t going to suggest that.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Korra.” Asami said with a bit of trouble in her voice. “You should know by now that I won’t just play mom and let you risk your life. We do this together.”

“But what if something—“

“Korra, you know as well as I do that we’re stronger together than we are apart. We have a better chance of coming back if we’re _together_. I know what you’re afraid of, and believe me, I’ve thought of it too. But Pema can take Suki and you know she’ll keep her safe. I’m not—it’s not up for debate.” Korra nodded in defeat and Asami patted her on the shoulder. “I’m sorry if I ruined any speeches you might have had planned.”

Korra laughed. “No speeches.”

"Good," Asami smiled before pushing the door back open and stepping into the bedroom again. However, before she could completely walk away Korra touched her arm. “Something else?”

“Well you talked about how we’re better together and…I was thinking that maybe I should be there with you today. Mako can wait.”

Asami furrowed her brow and Korra could feel Asami studying her. “You mean with my dad?” Korra shrugged, suddenly wondering if it was a bad suggestion. She really had no place butting into Sato family business.

“I thought it might help if he saw the whole family. If he knew I was back and that I was here for you two. That I’m…okay.” Asami continued to look at her silently and the longer it lasted, the more Korra felt herself retreating inwardly. “It’s stupid, of course I shouldn’t be there. I don’t know your dad. I—“

“No, Korra no I think that’s a great idea.” Asami must have picked up on Korra’s hesitance because she stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t think you’d want to come…to even look at him after everything.”

“Hiroshi was never my fight, Asami. That was Amon. He was yours and if you think he’s changed, if you think he’s okay to meet our daughter then that’s all I need.”

“Just like that?”

Korra smiled. “Just like that.” Asami still seemed doubtful. “Seriously, I mean if anything I think I should tell him that my intentions with you are noble.”

Asami’s right brow rose playfully. “Oh is that right? Yes, you were _so_ noble last night.”

A sudden cry sounded in their room as Suki awoke and started calling out. Korra saw Asami’s face immediately brighten. It was as perfect of a morning as she could remember. One she wanted to repeat a thousand times over. All she had to do was get through this one last obstacle and maybe she would finally earn herself a little peace.

\---------------------------

“This is a mistake.” Asami said as they rounded the corner to the visiting room.

She turned back to see Korra, clutching Suki’s carrier and smiling at her. “Will you stop? You’ve done this before. I’m the one who is supposed to be nervous.”

“You’re not though and I don’t understand it. How you can be so calm!”

Korra shrugged. “When you’ve seen your uncle turn into a giant red monster, Hiroshi Sato isn’t so bad.” Asami could only huff and continue on into the waiting room. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was nervous, for the most part she had only seen a quiet and reserved side of her father since started visiting him. He’d aged a lot in here, in more ways than one and the boisterous creator she grew up idolizing was now a frail, grey old man who’s smile barely reached his eyes.

She stopped again when she saw him, sitting at the table and setting up the pai sho board. He had no idea what was coming, no idea that he was about to meet his granddaughter. Asami had played out every reaction she thought he might have. Some were great, with tears and laughter. Other’s were terrible, with screaming and threats directed at Korra.

Closing her eyes, Asami took a few deep breaths. _You’re going to be fine. You don’t owe him anything, you’re allowing him to be a part of this. He doesn’t have control, you do._

Looking over her shoulder one more time, Asami saw Korra still waiting for her to make a move. It was just enough of a push to get her feet moving again.

“Dad?”

His amber eyes looked up at her with that same weak smile. “Hello, Asami. It’s good to—oh?” He glanced behind her at Korra and Asami studied his reaction. “What’s this?”

Asami moved so Korra and her father could see face to face, also so he could see what Korra was holding. “Dad, I—uh—I know I told you about Korra but I didn’t tell you everything.” She felt her heart drop when Hiroshi stood up from his seat, but she saw his hands go behind his back and his eyes focus on Korra.

“Avatar,” he said, with no malice in his voice at all. “Given what Asami’s told me you went through, I’m pleased to see that you have returned.”

She saw Korra’s eyes reveal a hint of sorrow, she wondered if they would always do that when her absence was mentioned. Still, she recovered gracefully enough and nodded. “I love your daughter too much to stay away.”

Hiroshi smiled. “Good to hear.” That was when his eyes fell onto the carrier and the little girl inside of it. It was a moment Asami was certain she would never forget. His calm demeanor, all the distance and shield of humility he had washed away as his eyes lit up like beacons. “What is—“ he looked up at Asami hopefully. “Is this…yours?”

When she saw the look on his face, her eyes pooled with tears. “She is, she's ours, Dad.” She reached over and touched Korra’s shoulder. “I wanted to tell you but it wasn’t my decision alone. I needed Korra to—“

Her words were cut off when Hiroshi stepped forward and hugged her. In her shock, Asami saw the guards start towards them but they stopped a moment later when Korra halted them with a raised hand and insisted it was okay.

Hesitantly, Asami reached up and placed her hands on his back. Her touch must have triggered his realization of where they were because he pulled away a moment later and seemed embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I just—“

“No,” Asami waved him off. “I—I’m glad you’re okay with it.”

“Okay with it?” His eyes went wide. “Asami I am _thrilled_. I’ll admit, it’s not—“ he glanced at Korra with the hint of something she couldn’t read. “ _Exactly_ how I pictured it, but the thought of having grandchildren is something I thought I’d lost forever. At least…the chance of you caring enough to involve me at all.” He then gave her a peculiar look. “Did you adopt her?”

Asami heard Korra chuckle. “No dad.” She said and enjoyed the confusion on his face. “She’s us…ours.”

“How?”

Korra spoke up. “Something to do with me being the Avatar. We were in the Spirit World…I had a lot of weird energy at the time. We uh…um—” Korra cleared her throat when she realized where her sentence was going and suddenly her face turned red. “Some…things happened and…um…Asami was—“

“Pregnant.” Asami finished for her ailing girlfriend. “I laid really low for a while when I came back, I didn’t want the news to get out and it was hard, but then once she came I decided to get back into Future Industries and put my life back together.” Hiroshi was taking in all the information and Asami could tell it was a bit overwhelming. She shared a glance with Korra who seemed to understand well enough to nod and Asami reached over to take the carrier from her. “Do you want to hold her?”

When he looked at her, there was reluctance in his expression. “I shouldn’t…you shouldn’t want me to. After everything, after trying to kill her.” He pointed to Korra who was quietly watching the exchange. “Look at what she’s given you, how you two are together and how happy she makes you. I tried to take that away from you and now…Asami I don’t deserve this.”

Asami sat the carrier down on a chair and quickly unbuckled Suki from it. She scooped the little girl in her arms, still groggy from her nap and smiled down at her. “If I’ve learned anything from Korra, it’s that the world is not black and white. There’s always room for change and sometimes we have to fall to find ourselves.” Asami wasn’t sure where these words were coming from, but they felt good to say, and she wasn’t merely speaking to her father, but to Korra as well. “You grow—you do what you think is right. Sometimes you make mistakes, but your mistakes don’t define you, it’s how you react to them, and how you come away from them. That’s what matters.” Asami watched him finally look up at her and she extended Suki out to him. “I want her to know you.”

When he finally took her into his arms, a weight lifted from Asami’s shoulders that she had been holding for years. Tears threatened in her eyes, but she held them back. They were meant for later, not now. Right now she just wanted him to have this.

However, when Korra sniffled beside her, Asami looked over to see her wiping at her eyes with a smile. “She’s really good at those ‘make you feel better’ speeches.”

Asami was prepared to argue, but her father spoke first. “I know…” she looked to see him smiling down at Suki in his arms. “So was her mother.”


	12. Recovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have always been stronger together.

_“Korra,”_

_Asami’s voice was quiet, almost regretful and Korra closed her eyes as the painful reality set in. She continued to sway back and forth, holding Suki in her arms and hoping that every bit of love she felt was finding a way in so Suki would always remember this moment, in some way, just in case._

_Korra was no fool when it came to battle. She’d been hurt far too many times to take anything for granted. There was a time when she felt untouchable, but not anymore. Now she knew just how fragile life was—how quickly it could be turned upside down. One wrong move, one missed step could be her last._

_Today was no exception._

_“Iroh is waiting for you.”_

_Taking a deep breath, Korra leaned down and kissed Suki’s forehead one more time before turning around to see Asami standing in the doorway. “Tell Pema to sing to her if she gets scared.”_

_“I will.”_

_“She really likes Little Soldier Boy but once isn’t enough, she needs to hear it at least—“_

_“Korra,” Asami stopped her and Korra felt her throat tighten up._

_“I’ve never done this before.”_

_Asami gave her a smile, but she saw the waver in that as well. “Neither have I, but we’ll be okay and this way we won’t have to worry about her.”_

_Korra sighed. “I always worry about her.”_

_“Oh good,” Asami said as she closed the gap between them and placed her hand on Suki’s forehead. “It’s not just me.” They were silent for a moment as Korra continued to stare at Suki’s perfect face and the mess of hair atop her head. She had so much, just like her mom had told her she had at that age. They would be coming to visit soon—to be able to see them all together would be amazing. Korra just had to get through today. “Hey,” Asami’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up to see those familiar and comforting green eyes watching her. “We have to go.”_

_Tears brimmed in her eyes but Korra knew she couldn’t hold off the inevitable forever. Kuvira was coming and she had to make a move._

_“Okay,” Korra pulled Suki up to her face and buried her nose in her baby’s hair. She inhaled sharply and let her lips fall against Suki’s forehead as the tears fell over. “I’ll see you soon, sunshine.”_

_“Hopefully we can get the suits ready by the time you’re back. Until then make sure Iroh is set up and just…be careful.”_

_She nodded quickly, trying to push away all her emotions. “I will, tell Pema to be safe too. We’re all coming back from this.”_

_“We are,” Asami smiled, stepping forward to take Suki and give Korra a soft kiss that lingered for a moment. When they broke, Asami touched her forehead to Korra’s and smiled. “Stronger together, right?”_

_Korra felt the tightness in her stomach loosen. “Stronger together.”_

\----------------

The smoke had settled, but Asami had yet to leave her cover. She’d hidden behind the walls of a building as the purple light filled the sky. Something had caused her to run towards it, a pull she couldn’t explain.

_That’s where Korra is!_ She’d thought and suddenly she was moving. It had taken her so long to even pull herself up from being ejected out of the hummingbird suit after her father gave them this moment.

_Goodbye Asami, I love you._

She would remember those words, for better or worse, for the rest of her life. He was gone, really gone. Not the same gone she’d told herself for years to keep the haunting memories of his hatred towards her at bay. No, this time he was really gone. There was no distant prison holding him from her, no off chance of visiting. There was nothing. She would never see his face again, never hear the voice that had comforted her to sleep for so many years.

The hearty laugh, that bright smile—even who he was now—with his grey beard and tired eyes. All of that was gone.

As she pulled her knees to her chest, readying for the tears she was too exhausted to cry, Asami wondered if forgiving him was really the right choice. She’d wanted him in Suki’s life, she’d wanted him in her own life, but was this really better? If she’d left him be would she be in this much pain right now?

That’s what had drawn her towards the purple light—had drawn her to where her heart told her Korra was. She ran, desperately to find the woman she loved because she needed to protect her. She’d been ejected, literally, from saving her father. Korra was her last chance to salvage any hope of a family.

Asami was tired of surviving. She was tired of being the one left behind.

Korra had told her to be cautious. Had mentioned she gave no promise of a comfortable future. She was the Avatar, after all. The protector of humans and spirits, with enemies placed upon her before she was even born and responsibilities too harsh for any one person.

Yet, Asami had let herself believe that Korra was strong enough to overcome it all. She had before, so many times. Why would this be any different?

Why? Because Asami had let herself believe.

People always left Asami. Korra would be no different. This was her fault. She’d killed Korra…by allowing herself to love her.

_“Yasuko would be so proud of you, Asami. Reminds me of how special she really was.”_

She closed her eyes as her father’s voice flooded her mind.

_“What do you mean?”_

_She could see his smile grow—the pride in his eyes, it made her heart swell. “After I lost her, all I could do was hate. I built my life around hate and revenge. Yet somehow, through all of that, my daughter grew only to care for others. You never stopped caring, you never stopped trying. That was her, all of that was her. She had the biggest heart and I am amazed that she was in your life for such a short time, yet so much of her is in you. Her heart was relentless and I see that in everything you have become.”_

Opening her eyes, the tears had come and Asami laid her head back against the wall behind her for a moment. She let them fall, taking as many deep breaths as necessary to calm herself down. She had to get up, she couldn’t hide in this stairwell forever. If something had happened to Korra, she needed to be there. To comfort her, to save her or even to carry her back home if she couldn’t make it there herself.

People always left Asami, but she would never leave them.

Pushing to her feet, she stumbled out of the stairwell and waved away some of the lingering smoke from her eyes. In the distance, she could see the beautiful glowing light that touched the sky. The presence of it alone comforted her. Much like the purple light before, everything about this felt like Korra. Korra had made that light, whatever it was, that danced across the skyline of her city. It was breathtaking and Asami headed towards it, prepared for whatever she might find.

Most everyone was there by the time she arrived—searching and calling for Korra. She stayed silent, instead letting her eyes do the work as she moved throughout the remains of the fight. She was desperate to find Korra, but a part of her was scared of what condition she might find her in.

Tenzin’s voice echoed through the air as Asami turned over another vine to find nothing. Her legs felt like jelly and she was so tired. It would be so easy to lie down and let herself rest. She wanted to give up, but Korra needed her. Whatever state she might be in, Korra needed her.

When she finally made her way closer to the beam of light, it suddenly started to emit masses of light that transformed and shaped into creatures. Spirits.

They poured out of the light, surrounding the crater and floating in the sky. Asami watched them in awe, again feeling Korra in their presence. She wondered if her life would always be filled with random sensations of Korra’s energy. Maybe carrying Suki had given her that connection. The ability to sense Korra at random—

The feeling was suddenly powerful and Asami felt her head turn towards the glowing light.

Korra. That was Korra. It was unmistakably Korra’s presence—she had no doubt.

“It’s Korra!” She said, almost absentmindedly. Tenzin turned to her words, as did everyone else and a moment later, there she was.

Asami hesitated for a moment, ready to race over and embrace her. However, Korra was carrying Kuvira limply over her shoulder. They seemed okay, Korra was the one doing the heavy lifting which meant that she had won the fight.

As Kuvira called off her army and Su took her into custody, Korra moved towards everyone who had gathered and Asami couldn’t help herself from hugging her.

“You’re okay,” she said with a shaky voice.

Korra chuckled softly but hugged her back all the same. “I’m okay. A little sore and…I _might_ have put a giant hole in the city but…I’m okay.”

Everyone wanted a turn to hug Korra, to welcome her back and congratulate her. Asami stayed quiet, letting them have their moment. She was far too busy checking every inch of the woman she loved to make she was really okay.

As they started walking again, Asami slid up behind her and wrapped her arm around Korra’s back. Their eyes met and Korra smiled again as Bolin started to boisterously tell a story of Mako’s bravery. Neither of them were listening and Asami could only register Korra reaching up to brush away a tear she didn’t had fallen.

_\---------_ \-------

It was a long time before Asami had a moment with Korra again. They were together briefly when Pema returned with a bundle of refugees and Suki. Asami told them that her home was undamaged and a lot of them were sent to stay there for the night as the rest piled into whatever open corner they could find on the island.

Korra had spent the majority of her night tending to any wounded she could find and trying to deal with Raiko and his constant demands. Korra seemed content enough to listen though and had even sought him out to give a few ideas of her own. The years away from Republic City had changed Korra so much from the girl who first stepped into this city. She was a leader now, a spiritual and emotional guide for this world who would care for all who needed it.

Asami held Suki quietly and awed as she watched Korra work. There were moments when she’d see Korra stop to catch her breath—it was hard for her not to race over and demand Korra lie down. She had just fought a giant robot and a master metalbender—not to mention deflecting a direct shot from a spirit beam.

For the most part, Asami’s mind had shut off any thoughts of what had happened with her father. They would return no doubt, but for tonight she couldn’t process it well enough to really grieve. Suki helped, she was so utterly unaffected by everything that had happened.

It was around two in the morning when Suki started to cry for a meal and Asami scanned for Korra but couldn’t find her, so she slipped away into one of the bathrooms and closed the door behind her.

Sitting on the closed toilet, Asami unbuttoned her shirt and let Suki eat, fighting all the while to stay awake.

However, no more than a minute passed when a soft knock tapped against the door.

“Asami?”

A smile graced her lips. “Come in.” Korra looked worn down when she entered the small bathroom. Her vest was untucked, she’d taken off her fur wrap and armbands and her eyes had dark circles under them. “You look drained.”

Korra chuckled as she closed the door and slid down it to the floor. “That’s because I am.” Her head fell back. “For the most part though I think we have everything settled for tonight. More work to be done tomorrow but Tenzin promised me I could sleep in.”

“How nice of him.” Asami teased.

“Yeah, I did my Avatar chores so this is a bonus, I suppose.” Asami glanced down at Suki for a moment and let the silence linger between them. They were both too tired to really do anything. Asami’s back was starting to tense from the hard toilet seat and Suki was starting to finish. Just when Asami thought Korra might have drifted off, her voice echoed through the small room. “You okay?” She understood the meaning behind the question.

“For now, yeah. It hasn’t really settled in yet.” She folded her top closed when Suki pulled away and hoisted her over her shoulder to burp her. However, before she could, Korra was on her feet and gently taking her.

"Whatever you need from me, I’m here for you.” Korra’s said almost insistently. Her eyes carrying the truth of each word. “Whatever you need.”

It was strange to be on this side of the conversation. Needing comfort instead of giving it, but she had no doubt Korra would be there for her. After everything, all the loss in her life, Korra was strong as ever and right here with her.

“Thank you.”

Korra nestled her foot against Asami’s leg gently. “Come on, let’s go find a bed.”

Asami exhaled tiredly. “She’s just going to need a diaper change in a couple hours.”

Korra took Asami’s hand and pulled her up. “Then we’ll change it, either way we’re not spending the rest of the night in the bathroom.”

Once on her feet, Asami hesitated for a moment before her arms reached out and wrapped around Korra’s waist. She settled her head on the opposite side of where Suki was being burped and closed her eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

Korra couldn’t hug her back, instead she laid her head against Asami’s and nestled her. “Me too. This right here was far too good to miss out on.”

She squeezed Korra tighter. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. That's the end of the Seeking Balance Series. The truth is, this story had been over for a while but I felt like it needed a bit more tying up and this was it. I feel like going on any further with it would be unnecessary and I'm happy with everything that's happened and how it's wrapped up. 
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, for sticking with me from the very beginning and for the constant and amazing support you've given me with this story. It's been overwhelming and unexpected and I can't express enough how much it means to me. 
> 
> I can't say what's the come with my writing. I want to write a novel, I want to write more fanfiction. Whatever it is, I'm sure there will be more from me coming soon.
> 
> For now, thank you for making this story the most fun I've had <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Balanced](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740832) by [Writerleft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writerleft/pseuds/Writerleft)




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